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I would say yes, probably... How will the bartenders know? Will they have wristbands or something like that? If you didn't get there guests open bar, you would probably run into the situation of WP getting two drinks each time they are at the bar...
Yeah, you kind of need to give the open bar to their guests, too...
Like PP said, make sure to have some sort of system put into place so the bartender can differentiate between the WP's guests and other guests.
Are you having a cash bar for everyone else?
I think either all the guests at your wedding should have access to the open bar, or nobody should have access to the open bar. It's pretty mean to only extend that invitation to the wedding party.
I think if you were discrete about it and can't afford open bar for everyone, it's okay, but like I said, you've gotta have some sort of system in place or it will get hectic and confusing for the bartender.
your WP will start grabbing drinks for everyone most likely. I just hope you are aware of this. I've been to weddings where there have been open bars just for the WP. Once one BM gets drunk then she will usually start grabbing drinks for all her friends and her date.
Best bet is just to limit the alcohol for everyone by not having a open bar. We just had special drinks for the WP in the limo, and at the head table (like champagne and wine with dinner). After that they had to pay cash bar if they wanted any special drinks beyond the wine and keg of beer that we had provided for free for everyone.
Our friends did this at their wedding and the attendants' guests were included. Though I wasn't sure how the bartender would be able to tell I was with a groomsman, so I had my fiance get my drinks for me.
@amariem25: Hmmm, good point about the WP snagging drinks for others... maybe I take back my advice! ;)
I agree with the PP's who said that you should either extend the open bar to everyone or no-one. If I were a guest and had to pay for my drinks but the WP and their guests we're drinking for free, I would be kind of peeved.
Anyone who is not the bride and groom (or vendors obviously) are guests. That includes wedding party and parents. All guests are to be treated equally. In this situation, it means everyone gets open bar for the same duration or no one gets any. It is rude to treat some guests as more special than others.
I don't think it's such a big deal. As long as they're not flapping their jaws about the free drinks, it's fine. We had tons of wine on the table and a drink ticket for an alternate drink if someone wanted for each person. Besides just being like, "see the guys in the tuxes, and the girls in the identical grey dresses, their drinks are free" their drink tickets just said "drinks are on us" rather than "Please redeem for one drink of your choice".
I actually didn't have anybody in our wedding party that brought a guest, so it was a non issue there.
However, the head table had their orders taken right at the table and was served there during dinner, so they never had to go up to the bar and be like "no charge" in front of anyone.
Yeah, have to say, if I heard this was going on, I'd be a little offended. Do nice things for your wedding party outside of the bar, then treat all your guests the same. If that means just wine and beer, that's the gracious solution.
This is somewhat common in weddings I've been at. I think the bartender has been notified and they have come up with a system with the bride/groom beforehand. Another way that one PP mentioned was using 'drink tickets.' You could provide 2 tickets per guest, and the bridal party can either have more tickets (which would help eliminate them grabbing freebies for all their friends, b/c they'd be using up their 5 extra tickets or whatever), or give them a 'free pass' ticket that the bartender knows means free drinks all nights and they just show that same ticket each time rather than turning it in.
Eh, I am not a fan of free drinks just for the wedding party. It COULD go just fine or other guests could get upset. I think the drink ticket plan is a good one and maybe give like 15 tickets to the BMs and GMs to use for their guests and themselves.
I really don't think it would be that big of a deal to provide free drinks for the wedding party. I would probably be more offended if I was a BM and didn't get free drinks--and as a guest I would probably assume the WP would be getting free drinks. Would it be reasonable to limit them to maybe a two or three hour open bar, and let them know that if their guests want drinks they are responsible for that?
I think wristbands for them would be tacky, but the WP would be recognizable. Limiting the amount of time they receive free drinks might help to cut them off before they got so intoxicated they started throwing liquor at all of their friends.
The one wedding I have been in the bridal party had free wine and champagne. It was pretty easy for the servers since we were all in matching dresses and tuxedos. I really enjoyed it. And as a guest I wouldn't mind since I know the wedding party usually has to pay for their attire, as well as bridal shower and bachelorette party.
I agree with the PPs who say everyone or no one. The other guests have travelled to be at your wedding, are helping you celebrate and are bringing a gift. They deserve to be served too.
i think if you are doing open bar for the WP, then their dates should have it too. either way, like PPs have said, if you don't do it for them, then the WP will just be taking 2 drinks at a time - that's what i would do anyway.
I'm having a bar tab for beer, wine and non-alcoholic drinks but I will have full open bar for our immediate families, the wedding party and their dates. The remainder of our guests will have the option to purchase spirits should they choose to.
I think that as long as you are discreet you shouldn't have a problem and if they abuse the gesture of open bar then they need a kick up the rear!!!
kemma-how are the bartenders able to tell who gets open bar and who just gets beer/wine?
Hmm, I've never heard of open bar only being available to the WP...I don't think I like that idea too much. But to answer your question, yes you have to allow their guests to have free drinks too, for sure like PP said the WP will grab drinks for them...and possibly more.
Please don't do this! I went to a wedding like this and all I could think was....TACKY!!!
Worst.idea.ever.
@ brittlynn1 We're giving a list of names to the bar staff (and brief descriptions) and because we're both from small families and having a small bridal party it'll only add to about 15 people. I don't think it's going to be a problem for our guests and I can't see anybody abusing it. What we're doing is also pretty standard for my circle of friends :-)
You know, it never even occurred to me to separate the WP from the rest of the guests. My personal opinon is, don't do it - it'd be less offensive and more discrete to pay for something else for your WP, the hotel rooms for example or their clothes, rather than the open bar.
I tend to agree that it might offend guests. If you really want to, you could give them some money in a thank-you card and tell them to use it to grab a few drinks on you or something.
Holy cats. If I were a guest at a wedding and was told that booze was only for the wedding party, I would be less than thrilled.
i would feel offended if some people get open bar and i dont.
that seems like an odd thing to do, have't seen that at any california weddings so far.
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I am planning on having an open bar for the reception JUST for the wedding party. My question is, should the guests they bring have open bar too? not sure how to go about this?!
Thanks