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We are thinking of having an cash bar for our wedding. It's because of the budget constraints right now but could change. I have seen that it isn't proper to do cash bar and others who say its ok. I would rather use the funds to take a great honeymoon or even just save the money for something else. I would provide drink tickets to the wedding party and parents. We are still on the fence about giving a couple drink tickets to the guests or even doing a subsidzed bar such as a $2.00 drink bar. What do you think?
In my personal opinion, if you can't afford to have an open bar, I would just go without a bar. Another option if your venue allows it, is to supply your own alcohol. We are on a very tight budget, and an open bar seemed pretty difficult, so we are supplying the liquor ourselves and having our caterer's supply the bartender. We have a while, but according to our own math, it will be cheaper, and we get to keep the leftovers!
I know there are mixed opinions about this, but I think if you are inviting people to a party, its only proper that you provide food and drinks for them. I know this all depends on religion and how your family usually does things. We are having an open bar because we dont want our guests to have to worry about anything, we want them to have a great time and enjoy a fun party that we are hosting! :D
As a fellow Ontario Bride, I totally understand where you are coming from. Drinks can run up to $5 each! That could end up being a pretty insane bill at the end of the night. We opted to do a twoonie bar. It is still putting us over our budget, but I think our guests will appreciate the gesture. I honestly have never been to a wedding with a completely open bar!
Could you do just beer and wine or signature cocktails instead of a full open bar? That could certainly save some money.
I know cash bars are somewhat disfavored on the wedding circuit, and as for me personally, I don't want guests to have to pay for drinks at my wedding - or at least basic things like beer and wine. But I will also say that I have been to several weddings where it was a cash bar and I didn't even bat an eye. I wasn't offended, I didn't think negative things about the bride, I just pulled out my wallet and got myself a damn cocktail and had a good time. :)
I don't really like the idea of drink tickets, however...something about them just seems very impersonal to me, like you're at a fundraiser or something. If you want to subsidize some of the bar, look into options such as hosted beer and wine, with cocktails on a cash basis, or hosting the bar for one hour or two and then having it turn into a cash bar after that.
We are providing 2 drink tickets per guest, plus a champagne toast and 2 bottles of wine per table. We can't afford a cash bar because it is consumption based. Drinks are $5.75 a drink plus tip and that could get really out of control. Plus British Columbia has really tough drinking and driving laws so we don't want to be responsible for people drinking too much. Everyone that we have told about what we are doing thought that we were providing more than enough alcohol.
Ok, so I'm Canadian, and I've noticed that we're always on here saying cash bars are just fine, so it may be a regional thing, but I've never been to a wedding with full open bar.
We had the servers come around twice and offer wine, and people could also get more at the bar for no cost. We also had one drink ticket per person, and any non-alcoholic was free.
To me, I kind of thought that this would work out as more than enough, and if people wanted to get drunk, that should be on their own dime.
ETA: I notice you're Canadian too now :)
Its common around here to have a partial open bar i.e. beer, soda and wine. We are doing that plus, I made some cute drink tickets for a cocktail hour so everyone gets a drink. After that any hard alcohol drink will be cash. In Milwaukee its pretty impossible to find a place that will allow you to bring in your own alcohol and drinks get expensive! For an hour open bar at my venue they charge 16 per person (plus 26% tax and grautity) I don't think its possibly to drink $20 worth of alcohol in an hour! I know so many people frown upon this and say to invite less people, but I think it would offend more people to not invite them to our wedding! We are expecting about 270 people, and about half of that is family who don't really drink. So please everyone don't tell me how horrible I am by providing them with $75 per person worth of food and drink even though its not open bar.
every wedding i have been to was a cash bar. i personally dont think people go to weddings expecting open bar anymore(money is tight everywhere). maybe it depends on age?? the weddings i have gone to are peers so between 21-27 years.
Im canadian too! :D
Can you do a limited bar, like just wine and beer? Or what about hosting until a certain time?
As a guest I would personally rather have a cash bar than no bar, but I think I may be in the minority. Unless I know the bride well enough to ask about the situation, I would always have cash, a credit card and my ID ready, just in case!
I agree with the other posters that wine should be available at no cost. I think it is pretty standard anyway that there`s two bottles of wine per table at dinner (and replaced as needed).
This topic tends to get heated.
I'd be lieing if I said I don't mind cash bars. I would never not attend a wedding or be miserable due to one but It's almost guaranteed that I will have a better time if given some "liquid courage" (you will not see me on the dance floor unless I have a little boost!). I definitely don't think couples have to offer a full open bar but atleast beer, wine and soda (which is what we're serving) would be nice.
With that said, it's your wedding so do what you want to do. However, if you choose to go the cash bar route I would suggest letting your guests know so that they can be prepared. We went to a wedding a few years ago that had a cash bar. As it turns out the venue (some Knights of Columbus type of place) didn't take credit cards and since we didn't know, we didn't have any cash on us. We had to leave the wedding and drive almost a half an hour round trip just to go to the nearest ATM. We could have done without alcohol for the night but they were even charging for soda!
Every wedding I've been to has had an open bar. I think a cash bar in my opinion is a little tacky. I would rather not have any alchol at all. I know some people that go to a wedding with a blank check and depending on how good the wedding is, meaning, good food and open bar that determines how much they will give the bride and groom. I don't agree with this but I can see why they do it.
@Tanya5484: No need to throw out the "T" word. Cash bars are very common and expected in some areas. As for the blank check, wow, that's pretty douchy.
I think you should look into having a signature cocktail or just wine and beer. I think if the majority of your guests are drinkers, than they will have a better time if they don't have to shell out a bunch of money to drink. Neither mine nor my fiance's family drink much (glass of wine here or there) and we have a lot of our Christian friends coming, who don't drink much, if at all. That's probably 90% of our guest list right there. So for us, it's less practical to have an open bar. I would never not have a bar because it couldn't be an open bar. At least give guests the option to drink, whether it's on your tab or theirs.
As with every other aspect of the planning, it's up to you. It's your wedding and you can do what you want!
@UpstateCait: Cash bars may be common for you, but for me, and the people I know, nobody would dare think about having a cash bar.
@Lily1217:My cousin "couldn't afford" an open bar-- so she bought a bunch of kegs. All the beer was enough, and so they had an open bar! Win! And it was much cheaper for them and still delicious for everyone. :)
@GreenGables: I thought about doing beer and wine. The only problem with that is that based on my cultural background, everyone likes hard liquor drinks such as rum. There are only a couple of guests that would drink wine, a couple would only drink beer and some don't drink at all. It would only be a waste of money 
. There are going to be 3 bottles of wine per table during dinner at the venue we are looking at so it's not completely hopeless 
. I don't know if this is unlimited during dinner time.
i am someone who does not get offended by anything like this and i go with the flow. i have been to weddings with both cash, beer and wine only, and full open bars and i couldnt care less what comes with the wedding. i suppose i might *prefer* a subsidized bar over a total cash bar if that would make it easier for me to buy drinks.
also, one thing i will definitely say, i MUCH prefer to have the option to buy a couple of drinks than NO bar at all. so whatever you do, i would have some sort of bar present.
@Lily1217 :Could you just do a rum drink as a signature drink and provide that for your guests?
@PurpleUnicorn: I agree that it's better to have a cash bar than no bar at all. I am NOT on board with this idea that if you can't afford to host any drinks you just shouldn't have a bar at all. That makes no sense in my book. If someone thinks it sucks to have to pay for drinks, I think it sucks to not even have the option (unless it is a dry wedding for reasons such as religion, which is another story and is fine with me).
ETA - Oh, and since it looks like you will have a few bottles of wine per table anyway, I think that is a good compromise - a couple of glasses of wine are provided, and the rest is cash. I would have no problem with that as a guest, and it sounds like in your particular area that might be the norm, so I'm sure your guests won't either. :)
@Lily1217: Three bottles of wine per table isn't going to be strictly a cash bar, even if you go that route :). That's actually pretty good. It's not really your fault that your guests prefer hard liquor.
I would honestly do what fits the budget. Weddings aren't worth going into debt for. I seriously doubt any of your friends or relatives will want you to go into debt so they can have a couple drinks.
@mkewed2010: Hmmm, nice idea. Unlimited juice/soda with a signature drink w/rum 
and everything else is cash. I would have to inquire with the venue what the cost would be. The only question would be is how do I place that on the invitations. Do I still put cash bar available?
@Lily1217: I've never seen any reference to the bar situation on the invitations. I wouldn't do it unless it is standard in your area or your circle. It's probably information that could just be spread by word of mouth.
@Lily1217:Maybe have a menu card in your invite and then include the drink options??? I didn't include anything on my invite, we're hoping that word of mouth is good enough...
I am another fellow Ontario Canada bride and almost all of the weddings I have been to have been open bar.,,and I have been to a lot of weddings. We had an open bar as well. Obviously I would prefer an open bar but I would appreciate the $2.00 option. I'm not a fan of the ticket idea but that's just a personal preference. And I would MUCH rather have the option of paying for drinks than being forced to not drink by not being offered a bar.
@Tanya5484: While this is an open and honest community, please refrain yourself from insulting others and pulling out the "t" word. There is a way to express a differing opinion without insulting others decisions.
@Lily1217: I do prefer an open bar, however I also agree with the others that it isn't worth going into debt over. I think that a great compromise would be to offer a keg of beer and wine or a drink ticket for everyone.
I think a subsidized bar would be nice if you can't afford an open bar. IMO there is nothing wrong with having a cash bar as long as you let the guests know before hand so they can bring some $. The majority of weddings I have been to have been cash bar, and if they aren't it's just an added bonus.
I think the irritation over cash bars is really funny :)
As long as you are providing some drinks (water, punch, soda, etc.) it's not like your guests are going to be deprived.
People don't expect weddings to be all you can eat, where you can just keep asking them to bring out plate after plate of free food at $60 a plate, so why should they expect glass after glass of free alcohol?
If your guests expect a bar and you're not comfortable with a cash bar I think a drink card or two per guest is super generous.
We're really not sure yet.
Most of the places in New Orleans charge at least $17pp for just an unlimited beer and wine kind of thing. And the others that don't, charge around $8 per drink to be billed upon consumption. We don't really have a lot of drinkers in the family, so we're leaning toward a partial bar of beer and wine.
If you can, I would do a limited bar as others have suggested. I don't think either is "right" or "wrong," but I will say, I much prefer cash bar to no bar at all. ;) I've been to a few weddings with no alcohol and would much rather buy my own than not have anything. Like CaitMarae said, liquid courage is good. :)
I have no problems with a cash bar (i'm from Canada and originally from the prairies, if that matters) That being said - My twin sister had a cash bar at her Manitoba wedding and the groom's father, who is from Wales, stood beside the bar all night and bought everyone's drink every time they went up.
It was funny (now) rude (then)
It's fine that you "wouldn't dare" have a cash bar but a lot of people do so there's no need to insult them by calling them tacky.
It is not polite to charge guests for any part of your hospitality.
I would be appalled to attend a wedding that said I could eat the chicken dinner provided by the host or upgrade to the steak for an additional ammount of money. If you wouldn't do it for food, you shouldn't for drink either.
To save money, you can offer a limited selection (wine and beer only), have wine during dinner and a toast only, or not offer booze. Charging guests for your hospitality will never be polite, even if it is tolerated or even expected in certain areas. Tolerance does not equal politeness.
Most weddings I have been to have open bar during cocktail hour, and then cash bar after that. Is that a possibility for you? Or like other PP's have suggested-have a limited beer and wine bar?
It's not cool to ask invited guests to pay for their own drinks. I suggest either cutting the guest list or cutting the alcohol.
@Lily1217: "I would rather use the funds to take a great honeymoon"
I totally get that it's pricey to do an open bar. It's one thing if you can't afford it because there are just no funds available. Even then, I'd try to scale back something else so I can give guests some kind of adult beverage (limited open bar, wine on tables, etc). A full open bar is important to us, so we're foregoing a honeymoon until after we can save enough money for one.
I think many guests can understand a cash bar if there's just no money for more. But I would be a little less thrilled if the couple didn't have one just so they could take a better honeymoon. (Not saying this is what you mean at all, but the way you worded your initial question could lead one to this conclusion.)
Some of my family don't drink, some drink wine, some drink beer and some drink spirits.
There is no point in me providing free wine when only a very small percentage of my guests drink the stuff....I don't even drink wine myself!
Here in Aus the liquor licencing prohibits us from taking alcohol into a venue. If they are licensed to have it on their premises then they must provide it. Yes the venues do beverage packages, but I don't see the point in providing a limited selection most of my guest list won't even enjoy.
My choice was clear! provide non alcoholic drinks, cash bar for everything else. And I stand by my choice!
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