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We are doing a cash bar because that is the norm around here. We are also debating getting a pony keg or a premade "jug" of a sig drink hosted by us
I'd say put as much as you feel comfortable towards the bar. If the entire amount is not spent, then perhaps your venue will reimburse you the extra.
How many guests are you having. I'm sorry to say that $500 will not go far in terms of bar expenses.
What about covering beer/wine and maybe a signature drink but cocktails would be cash?
What about a limited open bar? Like just wine and beer? Personally (and I KNOW this is a regional thing so no one give me crap - this is my personal opinion), I HATE cash bars. You'd never invite people to your house and ask them to pay you for food and their drinks and in my mind, a cash bar is doing the same thing. No one will be upset that you don't have liquor if it is out of your budget (wine and beer prices are much more reasonable) but since it doesn't seem that cash bars are the norm in your area (otherwise you wouldn't be asking this), you will likely have people upset over having to pay for drinks.
Oh boy! You just opened the flood gates! LOL
You are going to get every different answer possible on this post but here is what I think. I think cash bars are acceptable. I am from the northeast and I never go to a wedding expecting it to be open bar. If it is, its just an added bonus. But you'll get plenty of bees that are going to argue that it's wrong or they may even use the "T" word (tacky).
You have to do what's right for you and if that's all you can afford then so be it. Your guests should be there to celebrate with you your special day, not to get all the food and drink they can muster like hibernating bears! Most packages come with open bar for an hour as well so if you can manage that and then put a cap toward the bar your guests should get free drinks at least up until dinner. Or pay the $500 and give everyone a drink ticket. That way everyone only gets one drink and isn't taking from others.
Good Luck!
we did an open bar for about 75 guests and it costs us about $1700.00 for 5 hours of drinking, which included severl beers, wines, and wells. I would say avoid a cash bar if you can, i dont think anyone should have to pay for anything when they attend a wedding, do not offer alcohol if you cannot afford to cover the tab i say.
You best bet is going to be if you can buy the alcohol in advance because it will be cheaper (instead of having it bought from the venue). Or you can provide some of the alcohol (beer and wine, perhaps) and have all liquor be cash only. You could also do drink tickets, where everyone get one or two drinks, but then after that they have to pay. I would say, as a guest who doesn't drink a lot, it's best if you can provide some sort of alcohol, but I understand not wanting to buy everyone 5+ drinks.
I think a cash bar is fine, like @soontobewalsh said, i don't expect an open bar at weddings. Personally, I KNOW that most people at our wedding won't be drinking and I don't want people getting "wasted". We're going to have a champagne toast, and a cash bar will be available.
I attended a wedding last year with a cash bar and it was fine, I didn't miss the drinks!! I also attended an open bar wedding last month and everyone was packing the bar for drinks and hardly danced...responses may vary, go for what you can afford!!! Your wedding is about what you want (AND, can afford)
I agree with @soontobewalsh you will get a ton of people bitching about how they think cash bars are tacky BUT only you can know what's acceptable in your group of friends and what you can afford to spend on it.
I think doing beer and wine would allow you to afford more drinks for your guests, then have mixed drinks available for purchase. You can include that on an info card in your invite or on your wedding website so people know to bring cash if they plan on drinking hard liquor.
I'd mention something along the lines of "Join us for a reception following. Wine and beer will be provided."
You definitely have to do what is right for you guys. You should not go into debt just so you can supply alcohol to people.
I think the 1 drink per person thing might be kinda tough. I don't really like the idea of having to deal with drink coupons at a wedding.
The cap is nice because it does limit the amount you guys have to spend. $500 seems low to me though, but it depends on how many people you are having and how expensive the drinks are. If you are afraid of not everyone getting a drink or the limit running out too soon then maybe think about still putting a limit but also limit the drinks to some "cheap" options such as just beer, and wine and maybe 1 cocktail.
I always think its nice to have wine with dinner and beer for the guys. Anything more than that isn't really needed I don't think.
Is there any way you guys can stock the bar yourselves? $500 could go a long way if you buy a few kegs and a couple cases of wine.
i really don't understand why it is considered tacky/lame/rude to have cash bars. i think cash bar is a great alternative to those who can't afford to have open bar. you should definitely only offer what you can afford instead of going into debt after a happy beginning in life.
with regards to the house party example, the host only prepares what he/she can afford, correct? you may go to a house party in beverly hills where the host supplies premium liquor and expensive food such as fra gras, you may also to go another house party in an apartment where the host prepares simple sandwiches and soft drinks. however, in both cases, the host will definitely tell the guests to feel free to bring other things that the guests would like to eat at the party. also, in both cases, a guest should not expect the host to supply what he/she (the guest) PREFERS to have, rather, the guest should bring the "extras" that he/she wants to have at the party.
therefore, in this case, this couple will be supplying the amount of alcohol that they can afford. even if they can't afford any alcohol and opt to a cash bar, no one should judge them because they are providing the option to their guests just like a house party host would tell their guests to bring whatever else they want.
We are expecting around 80 people at our wedding. Unfortunately, our venue does not allow outside drinks:( I gotta budget out and see how much money I can really put towards the bar. My FI and I were thinking about the beer and wine as well but not everyone likes wine or beer. Maybe my venue will allow a signature drink as well? I will have to look into it. Thanks everyone!
Maybe I'm just a stickler for etiquette, but I really think a cash bar is tacky. We're just doing beer, wine and champagne at our wedding though which REALLY cuts down on the cost. Whatever you do, I would really recommend against putting a set amount toward the bar because you're right, if the heavy drinkers are first in line, the last guy is going to be slighted that he had to pay and others didn't.
@morganangelita: Maybe I'm just a stickler for etiquette ... I think it is totally tacky to refer to someone else's wedding choices as tacky.
I think you should do what you can afford. As long as you provide non-alcoholic beverages, and maybe some wine or something you are fine. The only people who will complain are probably small petty people anyways, they are there to celebrate your union, they shouldn't expect to get sloshed on your dime.
We are having a Champagne Brunch reception, so as far as alcoholic drinks, we are providing unlimited champagne only, with all the things one would like in champagne (like orange juice, strawberries, etc.) and a cash bar for anyone who wants something aside from champagne. The way I see it (for my guests), if they want something else, they can pay for it themselves. Can you do something like that?
I am also going to note that on my website (said in a nicer way, of course 
) so my guests will know what to expect ahead of time, and to bring cash if they choose.
ask your venue about kegs they can prob get one! also our venue suggested a set # of premixed drink they could display and have the bartender pour.
I like the idea of putting a little note on the website or just mentioning to some of the heavier drinkers that they may need cash if they are going to have a lot to drink. If we were to use the house party example again, it'd be like saying byob, or please bring a little soda or dessert. You provide what you can, I wouldn't expect an open bar at a wedding - even more so now that I know how expensive it is!.. but if it is.. thats just a little bonus.
I think cash bars are perfectly acceptable. Not only is it a huge cost saver, considering how expensive alcohol is and how much people like to indulge in free booze. I would try and provide beer and soda however.
When I got married the first time we did two beer kegs and free soda. It also helps people control their drinking. Even with paying for their own mixed drinks, I had a fight break out at my reception due to being waay to drunk. So, I think its a bad idea to offer limitless alcohol to guests.
Just from my personal experience...
My wife and I got married last year. Thankfully, we had it at a place that came with five hours of top shelf open bar (The Poughkeepsie Grand in Poughkeepsie, NY). We had about 175 people, with a lot of partiers. It was a blast.
On the flip side of the coin, i went to a wedding at which not only was it a cash bar, but they CLOSED it during all of the pomp and circumstance (introductions, bridal party dance, bride/groom dance, bride/father dance, groom/mother dance, etc). The bar was probably closed for over an hour. The two most important things to a fun reception are a good DJ and keeping the booze flowing. Keep the party atmosphere going.
We picked an alcohol free venue so we wouldn't have to pay for it (among other reasons) - I dunno, I guess my opinion is that people don't need to see your wedding as their personal free booze fest. Just make it clear up front (by telling the right people who will spread the word, or putting it on your website [ours is under the FAQ section, haha - "Will there be alcohol?"], etc.) and people shouldn't complain. Or if they do, too bad for them!
Yes, it's GREAT to be able to host everyone and pay for everything, but realistically, it adds up, and if your budget is limited, that money can only go so far. For us, it was either serve alcohol to just the family, or serve soda to family and friends.
I love the cash bar debate! Where I am from (CLE), you would never have a cash bar. Where I live (ATL) many weddings are dry, even if the couple isn't Baptist. If I couldn't swing the open bar, I would do beer, wine and maybe a signature cocktail/alcoholic punch. This should save a lot of cash. If somebody wants a drink that bad, they'll drink the beer or wine. If I couldn't swing that either, I would just go dry. You could do some beautiful and fun things with a juice bar, etc. I just can't ask a guest to pay for drinks at my wedding and I think trying to put a set amount to it isn't going to work.
PS--my sister's wedding was dry due to finances. We just all kinda spread the word and people who just had to have alcohol (morning wedding) brought flasks. We had a casual get together at my mother's afterward and there was plenty of alcohol there. My mother allowed outside alcohol:)
I think limiting drink choices to beer and wine is the way to go on this one. A lot of liquor stores will let you return all unopened bottles of wine after the wedding. And you could also talk to them about letting you buy wine by the case instead of the bottle and getting a discount for that.
If you really can't swing that, I think it's totally fine to just do fun non-alcoholic drinks instead. That would probably be better than making people pay for drinks themselves.
This is what I think: Cash bars are very normal where i'm from. I think its your wedding and people do things all the time that others don't think is "normal" to them. Some people don't do garter toss, some people have a brunch reception, some people have a very small wedding while others have a large one. I think you shouldn't let anyone tell you that its tacky or that you should just not serve alcohol at all. I think if you want to go just beer and soda or if you have money for wine too, then do it. But I don't think you should feel like you have to go non alcoholic just because you can't offer an open bar (meaning if you can afford only to do beer, then do it!) Its YOUR wedding girl and YOUR family and they will be there to celebrate YOUR day. Just do what you can afford and feel comfortable with! Best of luck!
I don't like the idea of a cash bar. Some of your guests have spent a lot of money traveling to see you get married and I don't like the idea of making them buy their own drinks. That being said, your relatives would not want you to go into debt in order to buy their drinks either. I think people here have the right idea- provide unlimited beer and wine, and allow them to pay cash for cocktails. Yes, some people do not care for beer and wine, but some people also do not care for beef medallions, or filets, or caesar salad, or white wedding cakes, etc. You can't please everyone. However, I think the beer and wine solution is the best one. Believe me, there are plenty of people who may not list beer or wine as their drink of choice, but if it's free, they'll take it. Good luck!
I like this debate too, because it does seem to be a very regional thing...
@soontobewalsh...I agree that it's a New England thing...I have never, ever been to a wedding where there was an open bar. At the most there was open bar during cocktail hour, and then maybe wine on the table, but I always plan on bringing cash if I think I will want a drink.
I also think it all depends on your budget, if it's not in the budget then I personally wouldn't feel like it's a must do.
Okay, as not to be a total A-HOLE here, but I think everyone understands now that in certain parts of North America, cash bars are considered to be tacky (seemingly mostly in the South)
WE GET IT.
OP is saying "I don't want to do an open bar", and asking for thoughts for alternate suggestions.
Sticking with that theme, IMO, take a good long look at your guest list and turn off what all of these random people who don't know you are saying. How many people are coming? Do you have lots of guests who will drink excessively? Or are most of your guests 1-2 drink people? An open bar may be affordable if your crowd isn't full of heavy drinkers. I like "one free drink" idea, or having a bottle of wine on each table - that way, you are giving your guests a beverage with their meal and anything over and above that is up to them.
I am in the exact same position as OP! Thanks for the post!
At this point, I don't think we can afford even open beer and wine... FI and I are not big drinkers ourselves and most of our guests will be family members anyway. Half of our wedding party will be under 21! We will be providing some fun non-alcoholic drinks, though. I also really like the idea of putting a note on the wedding website - I want to do that now too!
Our wedding will be in Vermont, so it is good to know that cash bars are normal in New England! Thanks soontobewalsh and bpcmarj!
i would never never never never have a cash bar. alcohol is more important to me than centerpieces or flowers or the dress. i am adjusting my budget accordingly.
i know i'm probably in the minority on that and those are just my feelings for MY wedding. i have been to plenty of non-total open bar weddings and had a fabulous time. as a guest, i would personally prefer beer and wine to a cash bar. or even just a signature cocktail.
we have a limited budget as well - so we are doing a LIMITED open bar - aka beer and wine (getting a keg and some wine) and a signature drink... so if they want somethign other than what we are offering, tough cookies. not my job to give them a huge wide range of whatever they want nor am i paying for friends and family to get wasted. my job is just to host "something" and what i can afford!
do what you feel most comfortable with, your guests know you and your financial situation probably and will understand..who cares what any one else thinks! i never go to a wedding expecting alcohol to be free...
We figured it would be either a complete open bar (with wine and beer), or no bar at all. With our budget, it's going the no bar route :(
Just a note of kindness and caution: Please don't judge open bars or those who imbibe to the tune of 3+ drinks. I can drink a ton of wine and not be "wasted." I also don't think that those who choose open bars are paying for the friends to get wasted. They are paying to suit the varying tastes of their guests. If you can afford it, great. If you can't, fine.
I'm expecting about 200 people for my ceremony/dinner parts of the day, then we're inviting other friends tot he dance part of the reception... So if we did a cash bar, that would be absolutely insane and probably cost more than the wedding itself for us to do an open bar. So we are doing a cash bar. I think that's the most cost effective for us. We're providing 1 or 2 kegs, and when that is gone, it will be cash bar. We'll also have wine since I'm not a fan of beer...
We had a 'hosted' bar in which we spent $1500 on it, after which it turned into a cash bar. This was a great solution for us, because a true open bar would have been around $3000. With only 85 guests, it lasted until about an hour before the reception was over. At that point, we were given the opportunity to add more money on to it or just let it go to cash bar. I'm pretty sure that about 6 people drank the majority of it and were WASTED- one girl even threw up in one of our prop booth hats, so we decided to cut it off. It was great because it prevented guests from getting too out of control (with the exception of construction hat girl) and we spent what we were comfortable with. I'm so glad that we didn't do an open bar because we would have been wasting money.
The thing about an open bar is that it really doesn't have to be as expensive as one thinks, depends on the venue really. Do not pay a flat fee per person, request to pay for consumption, i.e. you only pay for what gets consumed. Then choose the alcohol carefully. Go for cheaper wines and beers, no need to do top shelf liquor. You can also forgo wine service at dinner and just have people get all their drinks from the bar, also skip the champagne toast and just let people toast with whatever thay are drinking. These are all the best ways I know of to keep costs of alcohol down.
@Tswife4ever: If you can't afford it, have a dry wedding. There is nothing wrong with going a few hours without a drink. And if you or his family complains, tell them to pitch in for the bar.
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FI and I are paying for our entire wedding ourselves and being students, we don't have alot of money. I don't really want to do a cash bar only because i am assuming that not everyone brings cash to a wedding. We were thinking of either doing a cap such as we'll pay $500 towards the bar but what if not everyone gets a drink? So now I am thinking that we will pay for one drink for everyone and if they want another, they can pay. We will also have food at the cocktail hour.
What are your thoughts?