Open Bar Vs. Plus Ones

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: If you had to choose between having an open bar but not allowing guests who are unmarried plus ones
    Allow plus ones, but have a cash bar : (98 votes)
    39 %
    Have an open bar, but not allowed unmarried people and single people to have a plus one : (154 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @nattiejeanne:  I voted based on your idea for your wedding. First, I thought you were doing BYOB, not cash bar? Also, because you have so many activities and games that might require partners or opponents, I think it would be much more fun to do those with a date. So, I voted include plus ones and keep it cash/BYOB.

    Post # 4
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m doing a cash bar with almost everyone being allowed a plus one :)….so that’s how I voted

    Post # 5
    Member
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would have a smaller guest list, scaling back to immediate family only or family that I’ve seen in the last X amount of time or immediate family and close friends only – whatever scenario that would allow me to invite those guests and their S/O’s while properly hosting. Alternatively, I would have a dry wedding as both of those options follow proper etiquette. Personally I want to enjoy a drink at my wedding so I would scale the guest list down. Waiting another year for the wedding could also be an option, giving you more time to save up to afford the guest list you want and the properly hosted reception you should give those guests. If someone is so important to invite to your wedding I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to host them properly.

    As a guest I would prefer one of my options. If I was invited to a wedding without my S/O I would decline. If I was invited to a wedding with my S/O and it was a cash bar wedding I would probably leave after dinner or decline if it was advertised as cash bar so I knew in advanced. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I really do believe that the bride and groom should consider their guests’ comfort in everything they choose. That being said, it’s a wedding, not a frat party. The guests are there to celebrate the new marriage of a couple they’re presumably close to, and I don’t think truly single guests should need to bring a friend in order to have a good time, especially if they’ll know lots of other people at the wedding. It really rubs me the wrong way when people are offered a plus one and they go around essentially interviewing people they don’t know to be their date at a wedding.

    I went to plenty of weddings alone when I was single. Did I wish that I had a partner to share things wish? Of course. But I wouldn’t have expected the bride and groom to offer to let me bring a friend for funsies to their expensive hosted party.

    So to answer your question, I would (and did) choose the open bar and hope that my truly single friends would enjoy the night with the rest of my truly single friends, drinking the free booze that I bought them.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @nattiejeanne: This topic is all about etiquette so you did, indirectly, ask. I was giving an answer that would be helpful to people who are actually in this situation and telling you what I would do if I was faced with the situation myself. I would never, ever have a cash bar so I guess I would not include plus ones if I had to choose one of these options. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If I were in this situation I would choose to invite the significant others of guests who are in a relationship and have a dry wedding.  People are more important than alcohol – IMO, but I still would not have a cash bar.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would invite less people (no plus ones) before having to make my guests come out of pocket during my wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @nattiejeanne:  I’d go with the open bar.  

    But let’s be honest, it never truly comes down to that.  And I’d do whatever it takes to allow someone a +1 if I thought they’d be uncomfortable or that they wouldn’t know anyone besides the bridal party.  (I went to a wedding like that once, it was the single most uncomfortable social situation I’ve ever been in.  I wouldn’t have gone except we were best friends all through high school.) 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I would scale back until I could afford both, having to make this decision shows you are having a wedding you can’t afford (not you, but the bride/groom in this situation) at the expense of your guests.  

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