Post # 1
My shower is on May 15th and my wedding is on June 26th. We’re having gifts sent to my FILs house, and there are a few packages there for us. We opened two of them, thinking it would be a box within a box deal, but it wasn’t. One was two everyday place settings with the individual pieces bubble wrapped, and the other was a box of drink glasses.
My FMIL thinks we are supposed to take these packages to the shower and open them there. Is this right? Are you supposed to do this even if you know the person isn’t coming? And, if I am going to open them at the shower, how do I know it was intended as a shower gift and not a wedding gift?
My FMIL seems pretty certain about this, but I always thought that once you received a gift, you open it and send a thank you card promptly.
Post # 3
@EleanorRigby: Don’t worry! I opened the first one sent to my house, shower is this weekend. Who cares!!! At first I thought I should wait, but mom was like, open it!
Post # 4
I just didn’t know you were supposed to open gifts at the shower that were sent to the house by people who aren’t coming to the shower. I’m also confused about how to tell if something is a wedding or a shower gift. The two place settings were $80… so I think it could go either way.
Post # 5
I’ve never even heard of that …. so yea, I didn’t do it.
Would make for more stuff to open at the shower I guess. If you’re into that or if you aren’t having a big shower.
Post # 6
I just sort of assumed that you open the gifts that are sent and send a thank you note right away. She is certain though that we are supposed to take all of these boxes to the shower location to open them. I’m just a little confused.. especially because they are like warehouse boxes, there’s nothing to really open… and I’m afraid if a gift were intended for the wedding and I open it at the shower, it could upset someone that I thought it was a shower gift, I dunno.
Post # 7
You should open them now and write thank you notes right away. Don’t bring them to the shower. For the most part, people send wedding gifts and bring shower gifts to the event.
Post # 8
I’ve been opening and sending thank yous as we receive things – I’m sure there will be enough stuff at the shower to deal with, and if those guests are there that have sent things, I’ll just thank them there as well.
Post # 9
I’ve been opening as I receive them and sending a thank you note immediately. I’m not going to bring them to the shower, but if the person that sent the gift comes to the shower I’m going to say what they sent and thank them out loud when I’m done opening the rest of the gifts.
Post # 10
I have been opening as they show up- then sending my thank you right after- saves time for after!
Post # 11
I plan on opening as I receive them. Gift opening at showers takes long enough as it is, no need to make it even longer with gifts from people that aren’t even in attendance!
Post # 12
I’d wait on the rest – but who cares about the ones you already openened. make sure to doubly thank those people at the shower. BUT if those gifts are just wedding gifts, NOT shower gifts then definitely open them! That’s my opinion – others are against opening gifts before the wedding – I’m for it, it’s so fun!
Post # 13
thanks! i’m just worried that i’ll bring something to the shower, and open it when it was intended as a wedding gift or something. I can’t tell what is what. Oh well, I guess I just won’t specify “wedding gift” or “shower gift” on my thank yous.
Post # 14
Nope, we are waiting until after the wedding. 🙂
Post # 15
I’ve been opening them as they show up as well!
I can’t help it!
Post # 16
You should always open the gifts as they come and send thank-yous right away! It makes your life way easier to send the thank yous as you go, and also lets the other person know that their gift made it okay!
Generally, gifts you receive in the mail will be wedding gifts. I got a *couple* of shower gifts from people who couldn’t make it to the shower (in the mail), but the cards said “Sorry we can’t make it to your shower,” etc. Either way, it doesn’t make sense to take those gifts to the shower if they won’t even be there to watch you open! There will be plenty of other gifts there, people aren’t gonna care about gifts from guests that aren’t in attendance.
In terms of wedding vs. shower gifts, yes generally people mail wedding gifts, and they will bring shower gifts to the shower. At the end of the day though, if you get it right before the shower and aren’t sure which it is for… it doesn’t really matter! Just thank them for the generous gift, and you’ll find out soon enough whether they’re getting you an additional gift or not… but it’s not like you have to say “Thanks for the shower gift” in your thank-you note. Just say thanks so much for the generous gift, Mr. X and I can’t wait to use our new china, we are so excited to share our special day with you!” You don’t have to be too specific if you’re not sure what it’s for.