(Closed) Open letter to our best man (vent) (long)

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh. I’m so sorry. Vent and get out that feeling of frustration and anger and resentment about the best man and his lack of speech. 

I know it’s frustrating and I hope in time those feelings fade and you can look back on your wedding fully with happiness and joy. You said your sister’s speech made up for it and “saved the day”. So focus on that and the happiness you felt that day. 

It’s a really shitty thing the Bridesmaid or Best Man did, but it shows you and your HUBBY (Congrats btw! ) what his priorities are and what is important to him…in this case, booze apparently. 

I hope you feel better after letting that out! Cool

Post # 5
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

=(  Im sorry that happened! 

Post # 6
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ugh 🙁 I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It’s sad when you see how immature a friend is, and that you’ve possibly outgrown them. Hey, at least you’ll be saving money moving forward by not paying for him to come visit. If the friendship matters to him, he’ll figure out how to save up and afford a trip. A few less trips to hotel bars, perhaps?

Post # 7
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ouch, that stings. I’m so sorry that you had to deal with such disrespectful, rude, and inappropriate behavior from your “best” man. I hope the memory and anger fade quickly so you can focus on all the wonderful aspects of your wedding. Hugs to you and good luck!

Post # 8
12879 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, sounds awful.  Are you really sending it to him??

Post # 9
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What a dick. How hard is it to write down a few nice words??

Some people.

Post # 10
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

First off – sorry one of your memories from your wedding day wasn’t all that great. I am so glad, however, that you chose to vent here, instead of actually writing this TO the best man! You stayed extremely classy even when it was probably very tempting to blow up at this guy. He clearly isnt ready to be a (best) man, as evidenced by his history with you guys.

Congratulations on your wedding, and a wonderful hubby. I hope the vent here on the Bee was helpful 🙂

Post # 11
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry this happened to you. Has he always been this selfish?

Post # 12
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

WOW! I’m sorry that happened! I don’t even know what else to say

Post # 14
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

What a jerk!  Glad you vented, I hope you’re able to move past this and focus on the awesome things that happened on your wedding day.

Post # 15
9629 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fishbone:  Sorry that happened to you. 

He sounds very immature.  I certainly wouldn’t be paying for any more plane tickets or hotel rooms for him if he didn’t have the decency to say a few heartfelt words at his best friend’s wedding.

Sounds like your Darling Husband cares a lot more about him and their friendship than vice-versa.

Post # 16
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m sorry that happened…it sucks when something happens on a day like your wedding, which causes you to feel less loved. 

I know excatly what it feels like to know that your husband’s feelings were hurt on his wedding day, and there was nothing you could do about it. 🙁

At my wedding I was in complete shock when my husband’s parents came up to us about 1 hour before the wedding was over and said “whelp, we are going to take off.” I will never forget my husband’s face when his selfish parents wanted to leave just b/c the rest of their friends and family had taken off. He was so hurt and embarrassed, and was very much in shock that his own parents wanted to leave his wedding early – and the wedding wasn’t even late, it ended at 10PM!! 

One thing I will say, is that your husband wants to get past this; and the best thing you can do is to honestly, not mention this to him again. Bringing up this hurtful memory and adding fuel to the fire will only hurt him more. My husband was embarrassed by his parents and felt less loved in that moment; so did your husband. So the best is to vent to other people, but to try not bring it up around him. 

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