- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
We are hosting kegs and wine and champaigne for the toast, then we are doing a cash bar. I wouldn't want to get stuck with a bar bill either, because I know ours would be huge! I think a cash bar is ok becuase then the people who want to drink and spend their money on it can.
We're doing a toonie bar... the hotel charges $4 or $5 a drink so guests will pay $2 and then FI's parents will pay for the rest.
I like the idea of putting money on the bar, and when that runs out then guests start paying. I don't know if this is appropriate etiquette, but it's what we're planning on doing.
Have you discussed with FI the possibility of his side footing the bill for open bar?
Is it at all possible to ask your FI's family to help contribute to the bar? My parents arent drinkers at all and alot of our family is not either but my DH's side drinks alot (not crazy drinkers, but they like their beer!). My awesome in-laws offered to pay for the bar since they realized alot of the cost would be from their side. If this is not an option, Id go with hosted keg beer and wine and then anything else would be cash. And when the kegs are out they're out.
I dont think you should feel (or your parents should feel) obligated to have an open bar unless they can afford it. Hosting the beer is fine especially since it sounds like thats what the majority of people will drink.
See... it's common for cash bars where I'm from (and where the wedding will be) but I now live in Chicago and NO ONE does a cash bar here... since well over 50% of my guests will be from Chicago, I'm wondering what to do...?
I think I will have champagne on the tables for a toast but I'm so confused! haha
If you're having a formal wedding with over 300 guests, personally I would say open bar. But where I'm from, it's unheard of to have a wedding without an open bar, so that's my natural inclination anyway.
I second the suggestion of seeing if FI's family can cover the open bar.
I am having an open bar only with wine, beer and champagne. I do not want anyone doing shots at my wedding.
But in my opinion if you are going to offer the hard liquor, it should be open.
Oh, and my side will drink beer... my fiance's side will want mixed drinks...
And I'm a first time posting so I'm kind of stalking my question! Sorry! Just joined today!
I had this same dillema, so you're not alone! We have set a cap for the bar. With that we're limiting the bar to wells, wine, champagne and beer. If anyone wants a call or top-shelf liquor they are paying for that out of pocket so that they don't use up the budget before anyone else can enjoy it. I have *never* paid for a drink at a wedding so it is hard for me to accept the cap, however we are paying for our wedding on our own and it just isn't in our budget to have a full open bar.
Let me know how it goes, good luck!
LOL it's totally OK to stalk. We all do it. Welcome to the hive!
If you're worried about the cash bar not being received well by the Chicagoans and FI really wants liquor available, I think you should feel out the possibility of his parents chipping in for the open bar. If that's not really a possibility then your hands are kind of tied and you should go with a cash bar and not worry about what people will "expect" from you. If you do do cash bar, my one suggestion is that you make sure people know beforehand. I personally don't carry cash that often (I'm a debit card person) so I'd want a heads up on the cash situation.
welcome to wedding bee!!!
and we sort of have the same problem, in that my father is a minister and doesnt drink nor would he EVER pay for alcohol - but both me and my FH are drinkers as are his family.
soooooo - my parents are paying for the reception and FH and I are footing the bill for the alcohol.
and since i dont want shots at my wedding either - its a limited open bar - just beer, wine, prosecco toast, and a signature cocktail (which can be premixed! wooooh!)
that way everyone is happy.
as long as there is alcohol people will be okay with it. i just dont think its right to ask someone to pay for a drink at a party you are hosting. People dont give you five bucks when the come to your house for a shindig do they? (well not at my house at least)
and im letting folks know this. they can deal for 3-4 hours :)
Welcome!
If offering some open bar is something that your FI values, I think it is fair that either you guys or your FI's family chip in for that portion. A $5000 tab is generous, and will be around 3+ drinks per person as long as you put in a rule that you aren't covering top shelf choices. With other people choosing not to drink liquor, that will probably keep everyone's wallets in their pocket until late in the night.
At the same time, though, as long as you offer the beer (and I would recommend wine, but I don't know your crowd), I think a cash bar is fine. I am a liquor drinker, and I am not offended if beer and wine is offered, but I can still buy a drink if I so choose. Knowing already, though, that part of the family has a preference, having some tab would be a nice gesture, even if it is more like even $2000, which will get the liquor drinkers a free beverage.
If you do decide to put the limit on the bar (5K), make sure that the venue knows to talk to you (or whomever you designate) privately when you're getting close to hitting that point.
I was once at a wedding where the DOC for the venue came up to the bride (who was the middle of a story and a group of about 20 people) and said "Just to let you know, you're $100 away from your limit. You will have to discuss what you'd like to do with the bartender". We all just stared. It was...AWKWARD and the bride was mortified.
Honestly I would just do an open bar w/ the beer, wine and champagne. They can live w/ out mixed drinks. I wouldn't want to put any financial strain on you and your FI. If it is really important to your future family I would say. "Me and Mr. B are doing an open Beer Bar. If you would like something else you are more than free to fund it, but this is what we are able to afford." And it really shouldn't be a problem. I have been to both kind of weddings, and neither had a negative effect on me. People are more understanding now w/ the economy.
We are doing an open bar for the first 4 hours because that is what the time frame is on the package that our venue offers. We will have two little signs (nicely done, of course, in picture frames) at the bar that read something like this: "Enjoy drinks courtesy of the bride and groom from 5-9pm. Cash bar to follow. Please drink responsibly!", but in a situation where it is a per drink price (and not a package) maybe you could offer two drinks per person (via some sort of cute wedding ticket or token---each person would have two "tokens" at their seat and then they're on their own)? I don't know, just a thought! :)
I think that the first question you should ask is if you (or whomever will be paying) can even afford an open bar, even if you cap it at a certain amount. If the answer to this is no, then cash bar it is! If your parents won't pay the extra money for the open bar, and you and your FI can't afford it, and his parents won't pay for it then the decision is kind of made for you, isn't it?
I've been to weddings with open bars and cash bars and can tell you this - it doesn't really matter! People will have a great time no matter what! If people complain about a cash bar, just let it roll off your back - and remind yourself about how you (or in this case your parents) paid for EVERYTHING ELSE they enjoyed at your wedding. To have to pay for a few mixed drinks (especially when beer is being provided free of charge) is nothing.
I would have beer and wine open, but limit your mixed drinks to a certain time frame to cut back on the costs. I've heard of couples having a fully open bar for the cocktail hour, and then switching to just beer and wine with champagne for a toast for the rest of the reception. That way, your guests who really like mixed drinks can have a couple but won't be going nuts on it the whole night. It will probably cost about the same (or possibly less) as having a dollar amount cap, but it will come across much nicer to your guests, I think.
FYI: We are only hosting wine and having beer and mixed drinks on a cash basis, because neither set of parents will pay for it and we are strapped for cash. You just do what you can -- I know a lot of people disagree, but an open bar is not necessary for a wedding to be fun!
I like the idea of having a cocktail hour with open bar, and the rest of the evening beer/champagne/wine/soda. I don't think anyone would be offended by this. I've been to weddings like this and enjoyed the hour of mixed drinks!
Another option set a warning limit for your budget (like $4500 instead of $5k). When the bar tab gets to $4500, the bartender can make an announcement that the bar will be open for another 15 minutes. The bar tab won't likely go over your actual budget in this time, and to your guests it will just seem like you had an hourly package of some sort. This way, you won't go over your limit, and the bartender won't make a scene by asking you what to do when the tab is up. Afterwards, just go back to offering the kegs.
I would avoid cash bars, especially if most of the people who would be drinking mixed drinks would expect it to be open. They may not carry much cash with them to weddings!
@Future Mrs. Burhans: If no one has a cash bar in your area, people are not going to like it. I'd say to just stick with the alcohol you can afford to host, even if it is just the kegs.
i know a lot of folks says it's in bad taste to do a cash bar but going broke is in bad taste to me so i don't fault you. my friends got married at a restaurant they offered up champagne for a toast and they said if anyone else wanted other drinks that it was on them but all the food and soft drinks the couple had taken care of and just to have a good night. i thought this was very diplomatic.
so long story short i would see about having the bar outside the main reception area so you could at least act like it's a normal functioning bar where you pay a bar tender vs a free far all wedding bar!
we decided to do free beer, wine, champagne, and a signature drink... (which will be margaritas- were both mexican haha). if they want something else they can pay for it... for us an open bar would have been outrageous money wise... plus the last wedding i was at that had one got so out of control... our friends dont know when to stop drinking! so it works out for everyone this way :)
Welcome to the Bee! I know how you feel! I'm from Wisconsin(where the wedding will be) and my fiance is from Chicago. My fiances parents are giving us a fairly large chunk of money but will only have 40 people there out of the 250. I am not used to open bar and his family is, so its been stressful. The way I explained it to them was that I didn't want people (namely my family) to drink just because it will be free (oh and they would too!). Plus even though they gave us some money that is all accounted for. So we are going with free beer and soda. Our parents will have tickets they will hand out to extended family if they want. That way they can have a few free drinks if they want. For me, especially with the economy, it would just be too expensive to do it, especially like you know, it is not customary to do that here.
Our newest discussion is family style vs. plated. Basically Wisconsin vs. Chicago. Its been so hard to meld two families and what they are used to! Best of luck!
We're doing a completely open bar during the cocktail hour and then complimentary beer, wine, soda for the rest of the reception (cocktails are available for purchase). Our cocktail hour is in a different part of the venue, and the guests move upstairs for dinner and dancing, so (as weird as it may sound) I felt better about making the transition from open bar to beer/wine/soda because the location actually changes as well.
I originally wanted open bar throughout the entire reception, but at our venue it is extremely expensive. Friends of ours got married there a few years ago and their bar tab ended up being more than the cost of the rest of the wedding (everything is based on consumption there). We both have big drinking families, and I just couldn't afford to double my budget to accommodate the open bar throughout the entire reception. I guess it's probably very different depending on what part of the country you're living in, but the wedding coordinator at our venue said that since the economy has been bad very few weddings that come through that venue have had completely open bar for the entire reception.
Personally, if you can afford to foot the bill for open bar, do it. Some of the best weddings I've been to have had an open bar! But if it's going to leave you in debt then figure something else out.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rivendeler | 9 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| janetsnakehole | 6 |
| ellisrobertson | 6 |
| MrsOliveBird | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| ndreighton | 5 |
 turtles73 |
4 |
| deniselobo | 4 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
I come from a VERY conservative family and am marrying a Chicago Southsider... his friends and family are wild... fun, but wild. :)
My parents are pushing for kegs, which I've agreed to, but my fiance wants a full open bar. The venue for the reception will not give me a package for the bar - so we are looking at drinks starting at about $5.00 each.
I've already confirm five kegs (they are like $150 each so not a big deal), but I'm afraid of getting KILLED with an open bar bill...
I was thinking of doing like a $5K "bar tab" and when that ran out it would convert to a cash bar. My parents are technically paying for the reception but I doubt they'd go for full open bar or even the extra $5K for the bar (they don't really drink so it isn't important to them)....so this means we'll be paying for that...
My wedding is going to be very nice with 300+ people and I'm so confused about what to do!
Help!