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I haven't been to that many weddings, but I've never been to one with assigned seating. I don't think open seating is bad at all. We haven't discussed it at length, but I think we'll also just be reserving a couple tables for the bridal party and family.
There have been a lot of posts about this, specifically most recently a discussion on whether or not this is a regional thing...
Hope these help. From what I've seen here it is largely a regional thing. I'm on the East Coast and I've never been to a wedding without assigned seats and I personally would be upset without them. That said you know your guests and their comfort level best. GL
i'm from indiana too and the last wedding i went to was open seating and it was sort of chaotic...they didn't have enough room for all of the family at the family table to the brides family sat there and the grooms family was spread around. also, i think it just helps those people that might not know too many people avoid the awkward i don't have a clue where to sit/sitting in the corner by themselves
You should check out the link from the previous poster. I've been to a few weddings (all in the midwest), and none of them had arranged seating. Most of the guests knew enough of the other guests that it wasn't an issue. I have a feeling this will be the case with ours as well. I think more of our guests would be uncomfortable with arranged seating than without.
People are kind of split on this one. I've read some commenters saying assigned seating is annoying because they'd rather choose who to sit with; others say that they prefer that the bride and groom organize things in order to make the reception run more smoothly and help guests avoid that awkward "where should I sit?" search for an empty seat near friendly faces.
To be honest, I prefer assigned seating, but if you're anticipating that some people won't RSVP and you may not have an exact head count, I'd say skip the headache of a seating chart, especially if you don't live in an area where they're common. If you do decide to have a seating chart, you'll probably have to call the people who didn't RSVP to find out whether they're coming, which may be more work than you want to do in the days leading up to the wedding.
Our wedding is going to be in the Philly area and we don't intend to do assigned seating. Almost everyone (with the exception of my Mother) thinks that open seating is more fun and relaxed for everyone as there is no pressure to sit next to people you don't what to sit with. If you do a careful guest list count ahead of time, it shouldn't be a problem. I trust that the guests will be more comfortable finding their own seating.
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@krgk84: I, too, am from Indiana...and have been to weddings with both assigned and unassigned seating. I think here in the midwest, it's more acceptable (and sometimes expected) that guests choose where to sit.
Even though I keep wanting to assign table #s, I thought I'd ask around. Good thing I took a poll! My family and friends are telling me to stray away. Especially since our reception is only having a cocktail buffet (hot hoer d'oerves, dips, salads, veggies and fruit, etc).
At first I wasn't going to do assigned seating, but after reading posts and talking with my FI, I think it is a really good idea. We are only assigning tables, not chairs (which will relieve stress) IMO the benefit of doing this is so that people are able to sit with their friends, in my mind I was thinking about say 4 of my firends go to sit at an 8 person table and say 4 other mutual friends are off doing something else, those first 4 will either A) stand around and tell my other guests that "these seats are saved" or B) other guests who don't know anyone else will sit down if the seats are left unattended. I would like to make my guests, who don't know many other people at the wedding, as comfortable as possible by seating them next to people their same age.
Escort cards can be made very easily just using cardstock, plus they can help tie in your invitations & programs :)
It seems to be very regional, and while most weddings I have attended in CA have had assigned seats, I did go to a wedding that did not. It was fine because we ended up sitting with people we knew, but they intentionally didn't have enough seats for everyone (more of a heavy h'orderves buffet rather than a full dinner) and that was a bit inconvenient. My FI mingled while I ate and I mingled while he ate. I'd say if it is normal is your area to not have assigned seats then don't. Do what you know your guests will be most comfortable with.
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We're having a family and close friends only wedding so I didn't see the need to have assigned seating, especially for our buffet reception. Out of 70 people probably 55 are family and they're very outgoing and friendly. I don't think anyone will feel like they have to "sit in a corner" because they dont know anyone. I figure they'll probably play musical chairs catching up and getting to know my FI's family better. I don't see a problem with it.
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i think it depends on the group. most of the weddings i've been to have been open seating and only had a problem with one where it turned out more people showed up than rsvp so they ran out of seats. other than that, i haven't encountered any issues with grabbing a table with friends.
i'm live in ca and actually only attended two weddings with assigned seating but one of them had over 300 people attending and really, you HAVE to assign seats in that case.
Basically it is a personal decision and you are free to do whatever you want. I don't particularly care for open seating because the one (out of many) that I have been to that was open seating was rather chaotic.
HOWEVER, and this is a BIG HOWEVER, it is imperative that if you have open seating, you have at least one extra table per 50 guests to accommodate for people not sitting right next to each other. This isn't an option, it is necessary and any event planner worth their salt will tell you the same thing.
That said, it may be a pain to assign seats, but in the end, its less expensive.
I think it just depends on your group.... I'm from rural Alabama and had honestly never been to a wedding with assigned seating until I moved to Atlanta. Of course I'd also never been to a wedding where you were asked to RSVP. Needless to say, we are in a similar situation of trying to decide what to do. All his friends/family will expect assigned seating and my family may be confused by it.
That said, we are leaning towards assigned simply because we have so many different "groups" of people, many of whom wouldn't feel comfortable if they were to end up sitting with people they didn't already know. I think we'll end up putting something in the program's schedule of events page saying after cocktail hour (also a new concept for my family members) to stop by the table and pick up your escort card and make your way to your table for dinner. The wording still needs to be cleaned up a bit....
If you do decide to assign I would say you need to call those that don't RSVP to get an RSVP. For a group your size, doing the tables should not take long at all. I did our 150 group relatively quickly and easily.
My only complaint about open seating is that I don't have a "home base" to leave my stuff for the night. I attended an open seating wedding this weekend that didn't have enough tables for everyone, given that it was a come-as-you-please kind of buffet, and every time I tried to put my stuff down somewhere I had my seat taken over by someone needing to eat. Otherwise, I don't have a problem with it, especially if most of your guests will know each other.
Well I am a west coast bride. My first wedding was at a Hilton and we did a really nice buffet ... with open setting. There were about 100 guests.
This time the atmosphere is more laid back since it is a home/backyard wedding and we are going to keep with the open seeting. I have yet to go to a wedding with assigned seating LOL.
I think Mrs. Corn made a really good point about having extra tables if you go with open seating. I've been to open seating receptions and assigned table receptions. At the weddings with open seating, if there were extra tables, everything was fine and everyone was able to sit with who they wanted. However, I've been to one or two weddings with open seating but no extra tables...at those receptions, families were split up because they couldn't find spots together, and it was just a little stressful.
I've only been to one wedding with open seating (in the midwest) and my grandmother (from the east coast) threw an absolute FIT over it. She ended up sulking in the corner and complaining loudly to everyone who would listen. So even if you're in a region where open seating is common, I would suggest you look over your guest list and see if there is anyone important on your list who might be offended by it.
Good point snmcdowell; if we do open, we plan to have reserved tables for the wedding party, parents, grandparents, siblings...
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It's interesting how things can be so different even within a region - I'm from the Midwest and have attended many weddings - NONE of them have had open seating. So I don't think we can generalize this by region. I think "assigned seating" may have a negative image in some people's minds if they haven't experienced this. Assigned seating really means assigned tables - you can sit wherever you want at the table.
When I hear open seating I think of holiday work parties where there is open seating and the minute people get there they are running around tipping chairs toward the table and throwing coats and purses at their spots in order to "reserve" the table for their group. This isn't the atmosphere I want for the first 15 minutes of my reception so we are having assigned tables. But like others have said - you know your guests best so they might not care if you don't want to spend the time figuring out a seating chart.
the only wedding i've been to that was open seating was somewhat confusing as a guest. i think alot of the problem was the reception space..it was 2 rooms connected and everyone just sort of bottlenecked to one room and i ended up having to split up with the friends that i came with because there weren't 4 chairs next to one another. :( but again, that was just 1 experience and probably due to the venue and not just the "open seating".
We're assigning tables but not seats. We kind of have to because of we're having 3 dinner options and it's plated. If we did buffet we'd probably let people sit where ever they want but it can make things crazy. Just picture people with plates full of food trying to find an open seat next to the person they're with... reminds me of lunch in High School. :)
I think an open seating option works for smaller weddings or weddings where everyone knows each other. Just my $.02. :)
I hate it. I hate jockeying for position and trying to find enough seats for the people I want to sit with.
It sounds like this is a big regional thing...things like that are kind of funny to me. I am doing assigned seating at my wedding, but I would be open to open seating if we were just doing cocktails and heavy appetizers. I think unassigned seats would be hard - I just imagine everyone pushing toward the reception door trying to get the best seats, or the seats next to who they want. With a smaller wedding it might work, though.
I personally have only been to one wedding that didn't have assigned seating so it's something I expect. The one wedding that didn't have it was a little akward, but it all worked out (for me at least). I am also not from anywhere near your area.
In your situation I would ask myself these questions in order to make a decision:
What is the norm in my area and with my friends and family?
Will I have space for extra tables and seating? (My logistics mind says that if you are doing assigned seats you can have the exact number of seats to correspond to the number of guests. If you are doing unassigned seating I think it would be a good idea to have extra seats and tables so that not everyone has to organize into perfectly sized groups.)
Do you anticipate people showing up without RSVPing or recieving a lot of late RSVPs?
What is the formality of your event?
Do most guests know each other or will there be many people from seperate pockets of your life?
Good luck making the right decision for you! You'll never please everyone, so just go with what you (and not "wedding norms") feels is most logical/sane answer!
It's funny cuz I have been to TONS of weddings and I have NEVER had assigned seating. It has always been open. I personally will be doing open seating. It is much less work for me, and works well for our buffet. :)
I live on the East Coast, NC to be exact, and I`ve never been to a wedding with assigned seating. Two had about 50 guests each, and one had 150 guests. Neither one really had a problem with running out of seating.
The only thing that I can suggest is reserving a table for the wedding party, and then the grandparents/intimate family. There was a slight problem at one of the weddings because the grandparents had to sit way in the back, away from the bride and groom.
I like assigned tables. I like having a home base.
We are doing a buffet dinner with assigned tables. I have a limited space venue and we can't have empty seats and have an extra table. No room!
Plus I have two levels of seating for the meal, so I'd like to try to keep the older folks downstairs so they don't have to navigate stairs.
I've never been to a wedding with assigned seating, and we're not having assigned seating either.
Yeah I think it's just dependent on what you think your guests would be comfortable with. I know we'll have assigned seating, and I think I've only been to/ worked at a few that actually were assigned. There might be more of a correlation with the size of the wedding For us, I figure since we've got about 130 guests or so, it's not too hard to put together a seating assignment. But the larger weddings, like 200+ I've been to (or am going to this year) aren't doing that. Makes sense to me, I wouldn't want to put together tables for that many.
I've been to one open seating wedding and it was a success. It was a morning/brunch reception served buffet-style, and it was in a restaurant with lots of different rooms, so people were walking around a lot anyway.
I would just make sure you have some extra seating in case people seat themselves wonky--you wouldn't want families or couples to have to split up.
I am from the northeast and always thought that assigned seating was only for served meals, but buffets had open seating? Anyway, open seating is lots of fun! Esp during a buffet. There will be lots fo moving around and hopefully lots of mingling. Sitting with the same people and not getting up during a meal might get boring. So go ahead and do open seating! You will save yourself alot of stress :) good luck!
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So, I live in Indiana, but am from Kentucky. Most weddings I've been to in the area have had open seating at the reception, with assigned tables for the wedding party and parents/grandparents/immediate family.
Is it really worth all the work and stress to do assigned seating/tables for a buffet-style reception for around 85-110 people? What do you do about the people that don't RSVP?
What type of seating are you doing at your reception?
(If there are any long threads with a decent amount of replies someone could point me to, I'd appreciate it! )
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