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Sometimes it's nice to have those open threads where you can let your frustration out. So here it is, let yourselves go, bees! It's like Post Secret, WB style.
Dear guests who haven't RSVPed yet,
The deadline was Thursday. I even left you a few postal days for the few that dropped it in on the due date. So WHY are you acting surprised when I call you to ask? I CAN'T READ MINDS, and I won't feed you otherwise.
*Glare* Love, The Bride
P.S. The room block is full, and I've expanded it once, AND the deadline for that has passed. Don't call me to ask how you can get a discounted rate.
Dear FILs,
Please, don't tell me X, Y, and Z "for sure aren't coming." Unless you call them or give me their # so I can do it, you do not know this "for sure." So please, stop rolling your eyes, and lets just do this. Gracias.
Dear prof,
70 pages of reading, followed by a 50 page assignment for the following class, is a ridiculous amount of case law for one week. This isn't my only class. :-/
Sincerely, Girl that's not going to do this ridiculous reading.
Dear Professor,
Just because you don't agree with my ideas, doesn't make me wrong. I have just as many credible sources to back up my opinion as you do. Get off your high horse.
Best,
Your ticked student.
Dear Wedding Guests,
We got engaged a month and half ago and you already have your STDs. Invites are coming with all the information you need, shortly. Please stop asking me questions about every little detail 4 months out. Trust me, you will know.
Best,
The Bride
And a nice note:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for being so supportive. You're keeping me sane.
Best,
Your Loving Daughter
Hey Fiance,
How about you ask me about MY day? Huh? I just got off 9 hours of a crazy day in shopland and the least you could do is ask me how it was.
Sheesh.
FMIL,
Leave me alone, you told me that you were unable to help me with planning so keep you 2 cents to yourself. Also I do not care about tradition I will make my own. This is my day you had your now let me have mine.
Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,
Please win this god damn hockey game you need to make the playoffs its been 7 years.
Dear man glaring at my daughter because she was singing in the checkout line,
Is grocery shopping your relaxation time? Should I have lit you a scented candle and put on my chanting monks cd for you? Would that make your shopping experience more tolerable than listening to a 3 year old sing quietly to herself for 5 minutes? Fuck you idiot!
Sincerely,
Your friend Katy
@KatyElle: Bahaha nice. What an ass.
Dear Leafs,
Omg, stop sucking. I mean, it's just the Habs. What the hell? I rushed home to watch this crappy game.
Sincerely, Juliepants
Ps. please bench Schenn
ETA: ^ forever.
Dear unemployment office,
Where the hell is my money?
Signed,
Poverty Aimee
Dear world,
where the fuck is my cake?
Love,
Fat Aimee
Dear dog,
Please go potty. =(
Sincerely,
Tired Aimee
I love this! lol
Dear Myself :
I wish you could learn to appreciate yourself a lot more and love who you are. Your very special and a great person and you need to stop worrying about every little thing in your life. Yes, you are great to be around- So stop beating yourself up about it, Your FI loves you and cant wait to spend every day with you.
Sincerly, Me <3
I think that I really needed this post right now.
Dear DH,
It is not that hard to use a check register, you learned how in HS, now use it and quit bitchin when you are over drawn because of YOUR mistake. *palm face*
Dear Cousins in California,
I love you all, but you all are all idiots and your mother, god rest her soul, would be ashamed of all of you except one.
Dear Grocery store Manager,
I hate you, I really hate you. Your store is dirty and your staff are morons. How hard is it to put more than two items in a paper bag? Is it really that difficult to make sure the milk isn't out of date? Or that the shelves are stocked? Do you possible think that once "fresh" veggies start to rot on the shelves that it would be a good time to throw them away? Seriously, how has the health department not shut you down?
Last one,
Dear step sons girlfriend,
If you show up to my house one more freaking time in PJs, no coat, and no bra, then think you are going to sleep with him in my house, you will find your sorry butt walking home in the snow and cold. And NO you cannot go on a secluded vacation with us, NO you cannot stay overnight at my home, and NO he cannot stay overnight at your home. and finally NO, we will not be buying you jewelry for Valentines day, it is appauling to even ask. You are a using tramp, now go away.
I really needed that!
Dear Research Paper,
I am sick and tired of you sounding like shit. I would really appreciate it if you would write yourself and stop taking up my time. I would much rather be finishing my thesis, studying for comps, or actually enjoying my life for once. I hate you and your 20 pages of crap about grief counseling.
K, Thanks.
I am sooooooo over being in school! M.S and Ed.S, you cannot come fast enough!
@tksjewelry: Oh wow, Pjs- no bra and asks for Jewelry? And how long have they been together? cwwazy stuff here
@Eva Peron: Seriously, yes she did. Apparently her parents are stupid also, they dropped her off that way. Who lets their kid go out to their boyfriends house like that?
@Mrsgurzakovic: A month or two. I think that she discovered or figured out on her own that the step son get a SS check from his mom passing, DH and I both think that she thinks that is the step sons money to spend at will. She is always asking him to do things for her and take her places.
@asscherlover: 14, they are both 14 and she is better endowed than I am by far.
@tksjewelry: I think you should slap her. What a tart.
Or tell her she's no good until she gets some class. MM-MM GURLFRAN.
@asscherlover: If she had been an adult I would have thrown her out right away instead of talking to her about it. I personally think that she is intentionally pushing buttons in order to play the victim, but I am on to that game. I have her number and she will not be around long enough to make that big of an impact.
Dear Food,
You know I am trying to loose weight but why must all the stuff I Love is so bad for me.
Dear Hair
I have been trying to get you to grow for the past 3 years and you still have not gotten the dam hint. I am realy getting sick of you on top of my head. Only if the shaved head look was in style you will be gone
Finaly,
Dear FI
I know you are sick but please just shut up. You are not dying and stop telling me how you might die any moment now.
@Baimee: You have no idea how much I want to!
We are setting up a meeting with all the parents of the girls and the boys from this group of friends. There is something wonky going on with how much they change house and plans. They all just suddenly appear together so early in the morning and DH wants to get to the bottom of who is staying where and when. I was talking with one of the other moms and she is thinking something is amiss also, so where there is smoke there is fire, IMO.
@tksjewelry: Yikes! being so young and that " sneaky" -- wow. Nah your DH and you should make it clear ( probably in front of her ) Tha his money wwill be saved until hes 18 or so he ddoesnt spend it out of his free will and " waste " it on waste, I mean useless stuff..
@sexxysheddy: OMG, My DH is the same way! There are times that I just want to smack the crap out of him when he is sick. I have been really sick for two weeks, I get up, make breakfast and lunches, drive the kid to school, clean the house, do the laundry, and make dinner. And he whines, complains, and lays around in bed when he is sick. UGH, frustrating!
Dear Oncoming Sinus Infection:
I have zero time for you right now. So please, dry yourself up and go away. Fast!
Love-
Your Enabler
Dear FI-
PLEASE, for the love of all that is dear in the world... stop napping at 8 pm in the evening! It keeps you, me, the dog, the neighbors and everyone else up because you aren't tired when the regular folk go to bed!
Do like normal people do and tough it out until 9 or 10 and call it a night!
Love,
Me
P.S.- It is a freaking Saturday night and I am all dressed up and ready to go on our date night to the movies, so take off that silly looking hoodie and put on something that has been washed recently!
Ok I'm ready to play.
Dear FMIL,
Yes my dress is blush. And my venue is red. I'm not changing one of them just because they "clash". I'm not switching to the pink room. Or putting pink flowers in my red venue. Or having a pink wedding just because my dress is a pale pink. The pictures will be just fine.
Dear boss,
I intern for free, as a volunteer. I have a 3 hour round trip commute, for 4 hours of work. Please don't make me waste one of them at a staff meeting about the budget. And please give me something interesting to work on.
Thanks.
@tksjewelry: I probably wouldn't be able to resist. Skanky little girls are a pet peeve of mine. I'm 22, and I remember that it wasn't hard to not fall into bed with everybody, put on proper pants or at least a freakin BRA.. Kids these days. What the heck?
And it does sound fishy.
@Mrsgurzakovic: I know, that is his college money. We have only used alittle when DH wasn't working and he needed cloths and stuff for school. It isn't an allowance, it is there for a reason. I really dislike this girl, with a passion.
@tksjewelry: He has asthma and bad heart burn so the two together is a mess. I feel bad for the guy but come on he has been sayig he is dying for months now. I feel bad for rolling my eyes at him but its getting a little old now.
@tksjewelry: Sheesh...
Dear Anxiety and Insecurity,
Kindly fuck off. I'd like to live my life now.
Mr. Man on the highway, speeding up and braking so you could stay near my passenger window, smiling and waving-- you. are. creepy. And that lovely gesture you made with your tongue and fingers when your natural charm didn't sway me... WHO ACTUALLY DOES THAT??!!
@Amanda_Rae: Haha and to my FI, please don't put the clean clothes on top of the dirty ones. That defeats the purpose of washing them.
Dear Job Market,
Please just hire my DH into a fulltime job. We aren't looking to be millionaires, just a stready job in DH's field were we can afford to pay our bills and buy a modest house. He is very smart and the hardest working man I know.
Love,
A wife who just wants her DH to be happy
@jjmomma: LOL, the last guy that did that to me I took a picture of with flash with my cell phone (I was in the passenger seat) and then pretended to take on of his license plate. That guy speed off pretty quick after that.
@SarahSmilesDec28: I will keep my fingers crossed that he finds a job soon.
@yoaglo: Don't click the link anyone who sees this and isn't really thinking.
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