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This is such a good question because its something I wonder too! So, I have no answer for you but I look forward to hearing what the other bee's say. I have no desire to open the gifts while everyone watches! I've been the guest and it is boring. Or, what if someone wasn't able to afford much, then its just there for all to see, I don't want anyone to be embarassed. I'd much rather skip out. Though, I've never been to a shower were this was avoided.
I know that at my cousins shower she did not open gifts and lots of the family were upset about it. Especially my mom since the gift she bought was from her, me and my sister and our sister in law, who wasn't able to attend since she lives out of state. I think it really depends on your family. Ask your mom what she would think if you didn't open gifts.
I've never been to one where the bride didn't open gifts. I think it's expected, especially if you have older relatives there. It's awkward, though. I hear you on that.
Sorry,but yes,it's rude to not open the gifts while there and yes,people will be offended. I put a lot of time and thought into the gifts I give,and the most pleasure I get is from seeing their expressions. For birthdays and holidays,how would you feel if the people you gave gifts to took them home and didn't open them?
yes, its definitely expected to open gifts at a bridal shower. and the customary oooh and ahhh at each gift is expected.....no matter how gosh awful it is. just an example for ya....i got this oh so lovely present from an elderly cousin...yes she was over 50 and i got this from her...but i still sent her that picture and a thank you card! lol
omgisthatforme!.JPG (29.2 KB, 86 downloads) 2 years old 
The point of a shower is that guests bring you gifts. Yes, you are expected to open them. Be prepared for many people to be offended if you don't. If you don't want to open them in front of anyone, tell the hostesses politely that you don't want a shower.
Sigh, I dread opening gifts in front of everyone. I'm quite monotone and truth be told, I'm quite reserved and unemotional (LOL, sooo robotic). Now I have to figure out how to express my gratitude without appearing fake.
I've been to several showers where the bride took hours opening gifts and at some point, it's like "enough already."
I had one shower where the bride alluded to NOT opening presents. Thankfully, she changed her mind. Even if the bride feels awkward, everyone else is just excited to see her open the presents they bought her. No need to feel weird!
I had a HUGE miscellaneous shower and on the invitation the hostesses wrote "Please bring gifts unwrapped" and they used all the gifts to decorate the venue of the shower! It was a really cool mingling thing to walk around and look at my china settings and crockpot and such. Plus, I didn't have to practice my "Oh my Gawd, I'm so excited about this fork!" face.
Thanks for the input everyone. I was not trying to be rude or sound ungrateful. My concern was more for the guests than myself, as I would be bored watching someone open gifts if I were a shower guest and I worry that some people might feel awkward seeing their gift displayed among other gifts (bigger, smaller, etc).
Yet another wedding tradition I don't fully understand, but it seems to be the norm and what's expected, so I guess that's what I'll do! Thanks for answering my question everyone!
i tried to get out of opening gifts at our engagement party, but that didn't work! everyone at the party kept asking "when are we opening gifts?" "is it time to open gifts yet?" so we finally gave in and opened them. everyone wants to know what everyone else got you, and they like to know your reaction when you open up their gift.
I think the whole point of a shower is to open gifts. If you don't want to open them, maybe you should call it something else?
Well, not only is it for just opening the gifts. It's also about the tradition of "breaking the ribbon"...or maybe that is just something we do here. If you break a ribbon while opening the gift, that means that will be how many children you have. Not to mention the moh assembles your bouquet with the bows for the walk down rehearsal. But maybe not everyone does that?
I used to work in a catering hall, and boy did we ever have a ton of bridal showers go on FOR. EV. AR. with he gift opening. The poor bride sitting up there alone, trying to get through everything and thank everyone. I'd recommend, if you're having more than 30 or so people, getting your bridal party or friends organized to help you with the organizing: handing you gifts, taping cards to them to keep from losing things, etc. Think assembly line. Give a few people a job to help you get through (but make sure that you still get to do the "reveal" so no one's feelings get hurt). You should not rush with the opening and thanking, but a little hustle on the part of your crew can make the experiance much more enjoyable. I find that works best.
This was a huge concern for me as well. I wanted a much smaller shower than I'll be having. MOH is really working on keeping the guest list down, but you know how families can be. We're not quite decided on what we'll do, but i know it's viewed as rude, at least in my fam, if you don't open ALL the gifts on the spot.
Ehhh, I'm 50/50. Do I think it's Rude? No.
Don't get me wrong, I've never gotten it either. I do think it's cool when it's awesome gifts though - my Nana made a blanket for a cousin's baby shower a few years ago and stuff like that to show everyone is really cool. I know I'll open at mine - my family and FI's fam is old school like that.
I will say this though - I've been to a couple showers where they didn't open the gifts (one even asked that presents not be wrapped or wrapped in cellophane - ok, I kinda do think that's rude - don't tell me how to wrap your gift - I like pretty baskets). While I don't think it's rude not to unwrap, it is kinda weird. Without the gift-opening, it's just a bunch of women sitting around hanging out. As a guest, I kinda didn't know what to do with myself.
I think it probably stems from all your gift giving events. For instance, your childhood birthday parties. You open gifts in front of your guests. At Christmas you open gifts in front of the person who gives the gift.
As a guest I enjoy seeing what other people bought. Some people come up with very creative gifts and it's neat to see them.
Oh & 1 more thing that REALLY bothers me about showers: I can't stand it when people don't say "OUR" when they open something. It really irks me when a bride says things like - "Oooh these are my everyday dishes... my sheets... my bedside lamps".
It might be because I'm from a family of mostly guys but I always kinda felt like "hey, those are my cousin's/brother's dishes too!"
Ok - soapbox moment over. :)
Dancy- You are soo right! I still say my house and that's going to be a hard one to break! It's been my house for 6 years.
For my bridal shower my MOH is making bingo cards that contain items I have on my registry or might recieve (like homemade blankets and things the older ladies like to make) For every gift that I open that is on their card they get to put a bingo marker and whoever gets bingo first wins! I thought that might make it a little less boring and awkward for them!
I think people want to see your reaction and want to see whether you like their gift. I think overall, people find it amusing and entertaining to see what gifts a bride receives.
I agree that for the showers I've been to, the bride was expected to open the gifts. I am dreading this since it seems like it will be a bit boring for my guests and awkward for me, but as Bella13 mentioned, for my sister's bridal shower and baby shower, I made bingo cards (with small prizes for the winners) for the guests, and that made it seem to go by a little faster.
Personally, I'll be opening my gifts at my bridal shower but I can see why you wouldn't want to. Because everyone's sitting there waiting to see your facial expressions and everything! LOL it seems a bit odd to me, but that's the way my family have all done it so I guess I'll just keep the tradition going!
Most guests will be expecting the bride to open gifts during the shower. That's where the name comes from - family and friends "shower" the bride with items she'll need for her new home and life.
So it's definitely not rude to do so in front of them.
Have fun!
Ya gotta do it! I felt the same way but there were just too many people that would find it rude not to do it and the last thing I wanted was to appear ungrateful. Especially since I really did appreciate everything, gift opening has just always made me uncomfortable. I have found as a guest, I appreciate it if the bride keeps it moving- open everything and express your thanks but don't let it drag on for hours. We took a few tips from another shower I attended and each of my maids had a job. One slit open the cards before handing me the gift so I could pull it out quickly, another handled the garbage and bows, and the third took care of any reboxing. My flowergirls also took some of the gifts around to the tables for people who wanted to see our china, etc. It didn't appear rushed and I was able to focus on thanking my guests and showing off our beautiful gifts rather than the process of opening.
I don't think it's rude to not open presents but you would need to indicate that on the invitations. Something like: To enable the bride to be more time to spend with her guests, we have opted to not do gift opening. She would much rather be able to have time with her firends and family before the wedding!
If you don't want to open gifts, then decline any shower invite. Your guests will find it rude if you don't open them at the shower since that is the entire purpose of a shower in the first place.
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A family friend is throwing a couples bridal shower for us in a few weeks and I was wondering if it would be rude not to open the presents in front of everyone at the party. I do not really understand the tradition of opening gifts at the shower, since it seems like it would be boring as a guest and somewhat rude to make gifts the focal point. However, I do not want to offend anyone if they were expecting the "opening presents show" (I can see how that might come across as ungrateful). What do you think? Is it rude to skip the gift opening?