Post # 1
A family friend is throwing a couples bridal shower for us in a few weeks and I was wondering if it would be rude not to open the presents in front of everyone at the party. I do not really understand the tradition of opening gifts at the shower, since it seems like it would be boring as a guest and somewhat rude to make gifts the focal point. However, I do not want to offend anyone if they were expecting the “opening presents show” (I can see how that might come across as ungrateful). What do you think? Is it rude to skip the gift opening?
Post # 3
This is such a good question because its something I wonder too! So, I have no answer for you but I look forward to hearing what the other bee’s say. I have no desire to open the gifts while everyone watches! I’ve been the guest and it is boring. Or, what if someone wasn’t able to afford much, then its just there for all to see, I don’t want anyone to be embarassed. I’d much rather skip out. Though, I’ve never been to a shower were this was avoided.
Post # 4
I know that at my cousins shower she did not open gifts and lots of the family were upset about it. Especially my mom since the gift she bought was from her, me and my sister and our sister in law, who wasn’t able to attend since she lives out of state. I think it really depends on your family. Ask your mom what she would think if you didn’t open gifts.
Post # 5
I’ve never been to one where the bride didn’t open gifts. I think it’s expected, especially if you have older relatives there. It’s awkward, though. I hear you on that.
Post # 6
Sorry,but yes,it’s rude to not open the gifts while there and yes,people will be offended. I put a lot of time and thought into the gifts I give,and the most pleasure I get is from seeing their expressions. For birthdays and holidays,how would you feel if the people you gave gifts to took them home and didn’t open them?
Post # 7
yes, its definitely expected to open gifts at a bridal shower. and the customary oooh and ahhh at each gift is expected…..no matter how gosh awful it is. just an example for ya….i got this oh so lovely present from an elderly cousin…yes she was over 50 and i got this from her…but i still sent her that picture and a thank you card! lol
Post # 8
The point of a shower is that guests bring you gifts. Yes, you are expected to open them. Be prepared for many people to be offended if you don’t. If you don’t want to open them in front of anyone, tell the hostesses politely that you don’t want a shower.
Post # 9
Sigh, I dread opening gifts in front of everyone. I’m quite monotone and truth be told, I’m quite reserved and unemotional (LOL, sooo robotic). Now I have to figure out how to express my gratitude without appearing fake.
I’ve been to several showers where the bride took hours opening gifts and at some point, it’s like “enough already.”
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Marie Gabrielle
I had one shower where the bride alluded to NOT opening presents. Thankfully, she changed her mind. Even if the bride feels awkward, everyone else is just excited to see her open the presents they bought her. No need to feel weird!
Post # 11
I had a HUGE miscellaneous shower and on the invitation the hostesses wrote “Please bring gifts unwrapped” and they used all the gifts to decorate the venue of the shower! It was a really cool mingling thing to walk around and look at my china settings and crockpot and such. Plus, I didn’t have to practice my “Oh my Gawd, I’m so excited about this fork!” face.
Post # 12
Thanks for the input everyone. I was not trying to be rude or sound ungrateful. My concern was more for the guests than myself, as I would be bored watching someone open gifts if I were a shower guest and I worry that some people might feel awkward seeing their gift displayed among other gifts (bigger, smaller, etc).
Yet another wedding tradition I don’t fully understand, but it seems to be the norm and what’s expected, so I guess that’s what I’ll do! Thanks for answering my question everyone!
Post # 13
i tried to get out of opening gifts at our engagement party, but that didn’t work! everyone at the party kept asking “when are we opening gifts?” “is it time to open gifts yet?” so we finally gave in and opened them. everyone wants to know what everyone else got you, and they like to know your reaction when you open up their gift.
Post # 14
I think the whole point of a shower is to open gifts. If you don’t want to open them, maybe you should call it something else?
Post # 15
Well, not only is it for just opening the gifts. It’s also about the tradition of “breaking the ribbon”…or maybe that is just something we do here. If you break a ribbon while opening the gift, that means that will be how many children you have. Not to mention the moh assembles your bouquet with the bows for the walk down rehearsal. But maybe not everyone does that?
Post # 16
Wendy, we do that here. I’m dreading it. 🙂