Post # 1
Brides: I have registered gifts being shipped to my parent’s house because I work all day and worry about packages sitting outside the front door. Since my Mom is home more often and only lives 5 minutes away, I thought it would be safer.
I thought that this would be a good idea, but my attempt to solve one problem has in fact created another. It seems that my Mom has become insistant that we open all gifts in front of her. She maintains that it is very important for her to be a part of the wedding experience. I understand that she wants to share in the experience and I’m careful to go against her wishes since they are paying for more most of the wedding. However, both my FH & I work, so going over to my Mom’s house is very difficult. This will clearly make my FH cranky. I tried to tell my mom this, but then she became cranky. What should I do?
My question is – is this some sort of tradition I don’t know about? Also, if we were to open all gifts in front of my parents, isn’t that a little unfair to my FH’s parents (they might get cranky)? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks!
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of this. All I’ve read is that you should open wedding presents as they come in so you can send off timely thank you notes. No mention of doing so in front of an audience… That’s more something you’d do at a wedding shower.
Would it be possible for you to receive packages at work? If not, perhaps you can swing by regularly to do the pickups, but leave the FH at home? That way, it would be weird to open up gifts without him. With the wedding looming and both of you at work, it is understandable that you may not have time to hang around and open presents.
To solve her need to be more involved, is there a project or task that she can be more involved in? Not sure if she is interested in actually seeing the presents being opened or keeping a note of who sent what. There was a thread not too long ago where someone’s MIL (or Mom??) wanted a list of gifts received, presumably so if they are invited to a wedding of that friend or relation, they will know the appropriate level of gift to send.
Post # 4
My FILs want us to do a brunch the morning after the wedding to open presents from the wedding, but that will only be gifts we receive at the wedding. From what they have said to us it’s kind of "traditional" but it could just be my area.
Post # 5
the morning after brunch is traditional… we did that. but the gifts that came in before the wedding, we just opened them the two of us, no family involved.
Post # 6
We had planned a dinner at my parents house the day after our wedding to open gifts to any family and friends that would like to watch us open our gifts.
Post # 7
Bees: Thank you so much for your thoughts and ideas. It helps me a lot to figure out how to handle the situation. This website is awesome!
Post # 8
I always thought it was tradition, at least in my family it is. Since my fiance’s parents are closer to us than my own parents, we are having gifts sent to their house. We have a day planned after the honeymoon for our families to meet at his parents house to open the gifts and just hang out. I like the family aspect of it.
Post # 9
I had always heard it was traditional to have a "Gift Opening" after the wedding, often with out of town family members and/or bridal party members. I didn’t want to do it in front of a huge crowd, especially if there were duplicate gifts. But both sets of parents and a couple aunts and uncles from out of town attended.
I really don’t think it’s too much of your mom to ask when your parents are paying for the majority of the wedding AND your mom is handling the gifts for you. If you guys only live five minutes away, is it that much of a hardship to go over to their house for a couple hours? And why can’t your FILs come, too?