Opinion about the mother in law! HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why does it matter if your mother in law talks to your husband’s ex? Theyre both grown women and can decide who to have as their friends. It’s totally understandable to not want to do some kind of group dinner, but who your MIL talks to is not really yours to worry about.

Post # 3
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I knowing sucks, I have had the same problem, but you’ve got to let it go. 

Just because relationships break down does not mean other people have to pick sides as such. I’m assuming the ex was in his mumslifefor some time and they were probably friends in their own right.

if she was inviting her to family dinner and stuff then it would be inappropriate, or if they were discussing your relationship, but it is normal and fine for them to have texted each other, she was probably just seeing how she was doing.

IMO you have no other option but to let it go.

Post # 4
Member
6503 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry, but you’ve got to let this go. She doesn’t need your forgiveness because she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Post # 5
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I agree with PP’s. The breakdown of your husband’s last marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that his mother’s friendship with his ex wife should cease. If they had a friendship then they have a right to continue on with it. I don’t think you really need to worry about anything…just let it go and enjoy married life with your hubby.

Post # 6
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

That sucks. You know what else sucks? Hanging out with your MIL AFTER your divorce. Let it go. Put you big girl pants on and Grace Kelly yourself through dinner. 

Post # 7
Member
29 posts
Newbee

My FMIL is having a birthday dinner with 140 guests in a few weeks.  She has invited the ex wife and she has been given the option of sitting at our table or another table.  Initially I wasn’t sure how i felt about it and then I moved on.  Just like I can have more than one friend and one friendship doesn’t impact the others, the FMIL can be friendly with more than one of us.  Think about why this bothers you and then resolve the root issue.  Are you feeling insecure?  If so, consider that he is no longer married to her and is married to you.  

 

Relax and enjoy life.  Sweating the small stuff takes time that could be devoted to enjoying life.

Post # 8
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sarabethw:  Seriously? Your MIL doesn’t owe you an apology and has done nothing you need to forgive her for.  She is allowed to socialize with whomever she chooses.

As long as she is not conspiring with his ex to end your marriage, or feeding her personal information you don’t want shared, or trying to facilitate a relationship between your husband and the ex or you and the ex, she’s not doing anything wrong. 

My MIL was very close to one of my husband’s ex-girlfriends.  She was the daughter of his Mom’s best friend and my MIL had known this girl her entire life. I did ask my MIL to not discuss us with her and my husband had to tell her he was no longer interested in maintaining contact with her once he and I became serious and that was pretty much that.  I didn’t love that they were friends but it also wasn’t any of my business as long as she didn’t try to involve us in their relationship.

Stop taking this personally.  Their choice to have a friendship likely has nothing at all to do with you.

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