(Closed) opinionated but not paying in laws…*vent*

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s horrible that she said that to you, but there aren’t any real rules regarding who pays for what. Why not just slide other parts of the wedding budget around and have a rehearsal dinner that you don’t have to cook?

Post # 4
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

She’s expecting the gifts and glory? What kinds of gifts is she getting?

But yea, I would be annoyed too that she has an opinion about the rehearsal dinner, but is not paying for it. It may be a “bad” idea, but it’s because that’s what you can afford. As for her out of town family… maybe she should have asked you. But it’s typical to invite out of town family as well as the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. Maybe you two should talk about it so there is no confusion.

Post # 6
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What do you mean, she’s expecting the gifts and glory? Is that for herself?

Post # 7
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kperry3: I have to disagree, I don’t think it’s typical to invite out of town family to the rehersal dinner…at least not at any I’ve been to.

and especially since she (the MIL) is not the hostess of the party

Post # 9
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Um,NO. If she isn’t the hostess, she doesn’t get to invite,period.

It isn’t typical to invite all OOT guests…it’s a new phenomina, and becomes like a second weddng reception if many people are travelling. Nice thought, but definitely not the norm.

Since it has now become your party, have your FI tell her that you’re having just parents and BP members, and she can entertain the rest elsewhere if she wants.

Post # 10
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would tell her “sorry while X is a great idea, we can only afford our small get-together at the house” you can also tell her you’d be more than happy to have OOT guests be there but she would need to contribute financially for that otherwise YOU will be planning everything without input. I know its easier said than done.

EDIT: We are inviting all OOT guests as FMIL/FFIL are paying for it and they feel that its the tradtional thing to do.

Post # 12
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@PinkPinstripes: I guess it’s a regional thing, or a different circle then. All of the ones I’ve been to included aunts, uncles, children, grandparents, cousins, and so forth. Like I said, she needs to talk to her FMIL to clarify what they’re both expecting.

Post # 13
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Let it out girl! How horrible…my understanding is the wedding party, parents, and attendants to the rehearsal dinner? But I don’t have a lot of out of towners so not sure if thats the norm? Good luck!

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