Post # 1
My Grandmother recently passed and left me a small sum of money. It is only $1,000 but I am incredibly touched that she would think of me and I really do want to spend it on something special rather than waste it frivilously. I currently have two ideas, one of which I really would like your opinions on.
1) Save it to put towards my future wedding dress. My mother and I both agree that this would have pleased my grandmother very much.
2) Offer it to my SO to put towards the engagement ring that I happen to know he is now shopping for. I think this option would also have pleased my grandmother very much, but I’m not sure what SO would think of it or even really how to bring it up to him. We are certainly agreed on the fact that we will be married and I know he is looking for a ring at the moment (though we don’t talk about that very much as I think he wants it to be a big surprise). It’s is not that he can’t afford a lovely ring (he can and I’m certain he will do just that according to whatever he feels our budget allows), but he may be touched and appreciative…but I just don’t know.
Do you Bees think this is a bad idea? Should I just not even suggest it to him? Would I be putting my nose where it dosen’t belong, insulting him or even putting too much pressure on him? Also, can you ladies ask your SO’s, FI’s or DH’s how they would have felt if you had made them this offer when they were looking for your e-ring?
Post # 3
@sillysillybee: Either option is good. If it makes you feel better, I paid for half of my engagement ring because I wanted something that I knew my FI couldnt afford.
Post # 4
I think it’s a better idea to put it toward your wedding dress. But the best idea is to send it to me: Peach Acid, 1234 Peachy Place, Peachtopia, PA 19103
Edited to add: I think offering to give it to him for the ring is a bad idea. First, it will make you seem greedy. Like, you cannot possibly imagine that whatever he can afford would be good enough. Second, the ring should come from him. The dress money will be better augmented by the $1000 than the ring money anyway.
Post # 6
I think that it’s a wonderful idea to put it towards your wedding dress! What a cool way to honor her.
Just make sure you factor in the taxes for the money into your budget. I know gifting someone money from your estate after death is quite different than gifting it to them in life, even when it’s a relatively small sum of money.
Post # 7
@peachacid: +1 (and also, you amuse me greatly)
Post # 8
I personally would save it (not necessarily for your dress). If you think he would be receptive of the money, and you want to spend it on your ring then go for that. I know some guys will get their egos hurt if their SO wants to contribute to the ring.
My husband said he wouldn’t have had a problem if I had wanted to contribute.
Post # 9
What a thoughtful gift.
Can I offer another suggestion? Put it toward a piece of jewelry that you will keep forever but will buy for yourself. Maybe some diamond earrings or a pendant. That way you will remember your Grandmother whenever you wear them, and can pass them down one day.
You will only wear the wedding dress once, and I would want something that I could wear and remember with more often.
Post # 10
I think it should go towards your dress if you feel that is what would make your grandma happy. You can buy the dress with her in mind and then maybe pass it down to your daughter or another family member.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t offer it to him specifically for the ring, but I’d let him know that I came into the money and that “our” budget is a little more relaxed over all due to it. When my husband was shopping for a ring, (I actually didn’t know he was shopping, but I’d definitely dropped BIG hints I was ‘waiting’)…. but anyways I’m a few years older than him, and have been working for a few year longer and all the while living at home so I had a ton more money saved up than him. I basically told him “we” don’t have to worry about the e-ring money that “we” could easily afford it. Meaning, even if he had to wipe out “his” savings for it, my money was soon to be our anyways, so don’t let his “own” money be the limiting factor. Money is just money, you’ve come into some, and whether it’s spent directly or indirectly on anything, it helps out in the big picture.
Post # 12
@lauraminn: Oh geez!!! Now that is also a GREAT idea….
Post # 13
I think the dress option is the best between the two; otherwise perhaps buy yourself a separate piece of jewelry you can remember her by? Maybe a RHR? or a necklace?
Post # 14
if it were me it would mean a lot more for the money to go towards the dress
Post # 15
well, my thoughts are…..
The ring you will wear everyday, and look at many many times a day…. and would think of her when you see it…. however the ring should make you think of your hubby. and he might view it as an insult that you didnt feel like he could buy you a good enought ring.
the dress….. you will only wear once. however i do believe you should look amazing on your day. but you will only wear it once….
I think you should spend it on something you will use/wear more. that way you can always think of her.
But out of your two options you gave me, ill choose dress. wouldnt want to insult your fiance.
Post # 16
@pinkshoes: We do already live together so our money is all sort of lumped together already, but I see what you’re saying.