- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
Alright wonderful ladies, I need your help. I’ve been MIA for a while working on some family issues.
my husband brought something to my attention I nevreal pally saw before. Now I came from a really dysfunctional family, like out of a scary movie type family full of drugs and alcohol. Mom has always been loving but she has munchausen and borderline personality disorder and she’s an alcoholic to top it off. But she’s loving, and just three months ago she paid three thousand for our wedding(on top of our four). We have gone to visit her time and time again since and my daughter loves my mom to death.
But when we go to moms she always talks about negative things, always something bad going on and often the conversation revolves around my past abuse by older men. I’ve been working in therapy to move on but every time I go to moms I go into a dark cloud for a week. I didn’t notice this until my husband pointed it out to me.
I didn’t realize that healthy families talk about good things when they have get togethers, all My famille does is talk about the bad and it brings me down. Add on top of that moms drug and alcohol use and its frustrating. I love her but when she was responsible for attaching my three year old for four days (she asked to bring my daughter along) the four days were spent drunk and the nights on ecstasy, this is while she was taking care of my daughter.
now my husband has a normal functioning family, and when mom and my MIL became friends on fb I had an anxiety attack, I spent the last ten years breaking free of the family drama and I don’t want people like my MIL to know all the crap I went through but it’s too late now.
and when I was diagnosed with epilepsy, first thing mom does is post it on fb and teeve all of her friends when I didn’t want anyone to know. I asked her not to tell anyone but she went and posted on a flipping social media site!
with everything else mom is really sensitive, she takes everything personal. She thinks anything I say that doesn’t go with her lifestyle is the same as me calling her a bad person.
my husband and I are building a family right now and we want a healthy functioning family, I want to move on but with mom around I keep getting pulled back in, my husband says its effecting our marriage.
so I am here seeking advice and support. How would you handle this if you really loved your mom but just talking to her brought you down and you knew keeping a relationship would mean unhealthy consequences with your new family?