(Closed) Opinions on stepparent drama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Every family is different.  For me, my stepfather is my father figure.  At my first wedding, he took all those father roles on – walked me down the aisle and we had a father/daughter dance.

My ex husbands family was much different.  His stepfather was always referred to as his mother’s husband and no one included him in family gatherings.

I’ve worked with a lot of brides, and I’ve seen every possible scenario in things. 

Only your cousin and your friend can decide how to handle it, and hopefully they all come up with a way that keeps the peace in the family without compromising their wishes.

Good luck to them!

Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KC_83:

I would really encourage your friends to stand firm on what they want for their wedding. I think in both of these situations they are in the right! I don’t understand why your cousin’s father would think your cousin would be interested in doing a dance with his stepmother at all. He remarried when his son was 18 and is surprised when he doesn’t view her as his mother? So silly. 

Your friend’s mother is super out of line insisting that her (uninvolved!) stepfather walk her down the aisle along with her real father who raised her. Does she even really know her stepfather? So, so ridiculous.

The bottom line is that if your cousin and friend don’t want to give special attention to their step parents, they don’t have to! Even if it was their real parent they didn’t want to give them away or whatnot, it’s their wedding and they should do what makes them happy and comfortable.

Post # 6
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have 2 step parents (one through marriage to my mother and one through just cohabitation with my father.)My step mother has been my fathers partner since I was three or four so she has always been in my life.However,she brought me up that she was NOT my mother,I shouldnt call her so etc.She was doing this to make things easier for me and my brother I think. However,fast forward to my teens and she eneded up making my life pretty miserable for a few long years. So,based on the fact we havent spoken for nearly 2 years now,she isnt even invited to our wedding.I can understand your friend and cousins lack of enthusiasm for wanting to involve stepparents,after all,they werent even really a huge involvement in their lives, and I think people are only getting upset/suggesting they get involved because they want to make the step parents to feel included maybe?

At the end of the day,its everybodies individual choice,and if my mothers husband hadnt passed away 3 years ago,I would have liked to include him somehow,

 

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