Post # 1
FI and I both really want kids and would love to start trying right after we’re married but I think we might be a bit nervous about what friends/family will think? I’m not really sure why this is, considering we don’t follow the norms anyway. I guess we just don’t want people to discount our marriage if we have children right away (if that makes any sense).
So the real question is, when do you think it is most appropriate to start trying to conceive assuming there are no financial or relationship issues?
Post # 3
It’s up to you, I am in grad school though so for us realistically we have to wait until I graduate and get a job, so it will prob be 5+ years.
Post # 4
Remember most women it takes a year to get pregnant anyway. It’s a total personal decision. Who cares what people think.
Post # 5
Ummm… how about whenever the eff you feel like it? I think this is one of those “those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind” kind of situations.
Post # 6
I don’t think there is an appropriate time. As long as you guys are ready, go for it! I have a personal thing, where I want to be married at least a year before getting pregnant, so we’re going to start TTC right after our 1 year anniversary 🙂 But there’s really no rhyme or reason to my “1 year rule”.
Post # 7
I’ve never heard of people discounting the marriage because they had kids right away. I think its a personal choice and depends on how old you are when you get married and what your career and life plan looks like
Post # 8
Its no ones decision but yours. Only you two know the dynamics of your relationship and whats best for you guys. You will receive pleny of unsolicted advice and judgement once the kids come. People are going to make comments no matter what. FWIW, no one has to know anyways ( and I advise to not tell everyone, been there done that) that your TTC so why does it matter? When it comes to TTC, its no ones damn business. We started TTC after 6 months.
Post # 9
100% your decision. If people talk, let them. If you can financially care for a child and you two are in agreement on having a child, then start TTC as soon as you feel ready. I would however wait until after you are married since you are already engaged.
Post # 10
whenever you’re both comfortable and ready for that committment
Post # 11
I do not think that there is an all-across the board ideal time, it is different for everyone. If someone twisted my arm and forced me to generalize, I would say I think the longer you are married first the better, but I know this is not and cannot be the case for everyone.
Post # 12
I agree with the others, start trying when YOU feel comfortable and don’t worry about what others may think. I don’t think most people would find it so scandalous that you start TTC right after the wedding – heck, my mom told us we should try for a honeymoon baby!
Post # 13
If you want to start once your married DO IT!!! Your friends and family will love you and the baby no matter if it comes now or in 20 years. The rest of the world will judge you no matter if it comes now or in 20 years! Do what’s best for you. I’ve got friends in every camp.
Post # 14
I completely agree with everyone else. It’s totally up to you on when you want to start trying and no one else. As long as you’re comfortable and you’re both ready, get cracking!
Post # 15
I do think it’s whenever you are both ready to start a family. I’m 28 (29 in November) and DH is 27 (28 next spring). We are going to start the TTC process in september and were just married 2 weeks ago. One reason is our age, another is we are just ready for it (and he was the one that brought up the convo, lol). We’d start now but I am currently on an MS treatment thats a Class C pregnancy drug…so I have to be off for at least 3 months before we actively begin.
Post # 16
@Beluga: I swear you are my favorite poster on here. That, and everytime I see your icon I sing a wee bit of that old Rafie song in my head: “Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea…”
Anyhow…Beluga’s right. Whenever you want.