Post # 1
My FI and I want to get married on our actual anniversary date which will fall on a Wednesday. Because it is on a week day and most people will be unable to attend, we were considering having a romantic getaway and getting hitched then. We really want our wedding day to be about US, not the flowers, the color of the table cloths, or what the bride’s maids’ shoes looked like, etc. Don’t get me wrong; I’m in awe by other people’s gorgeous weddings, but personally for me, I prefer to attend them instead of planning my own. Anyway, is it acceptable to have a small “reception” a couple days after we get married? Would our invitation still call it a wedding or no? And should we still make a registry? Thanks bees!
Post # 3
Hi @simplicitea: First and foremost, I see that you are NEW to WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob here… lol
In so much as I know much about “Traditional” Etiquette and I give my POV with some down to earth advice too (what the consequences are if you go against the grain)
First the good news…
You can ABSOLUTELY do a Reception after the Wedding at a later date…
It is then known as a Reception (if someone else Hosts… which is “Most” Polite… cause one doesn’t normally hold a party of such magnitude to honour oneself)
OR it is known as a Wedding Celebration if one is hosting on one’s own.
If you are Hosting your own Wedding Celebration… then there should be NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF GIFTS (Not even if someone should ask). So NO Registry in this scenario.
But if you find someone else to act as Host, then YES you could certainly register for Gifts.
But as always, it shouldn’t be YOU YOURSELF MENTION to anyone… your nearest & dearest should be putting that info out there thru word of mouth (or you can very subtly mention it on your Wedding Website “The Bride & Groom are Registered at ___” And it should never be more than 2 places… preferably quite different from one another… ie Department Store & Sporting Goods for example)
Anyhow which ever you go with… Reception or Celebration do know that you can make it quite Wedding-like if you wish… Wedding Attire – Flowers – Decor – Wedding Cake – Toast – Speaches – First Dance etc.
You can also make it as BIG or little, Formal or informal an event as you’d like. Choose your Invitations to reflect that / set the tone / mood.
If you give me an idea of your overall Vision… I can make suggestions of appropriate wording for you.
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
@This Time Round: Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate it! I was thinking the cover on our invitation to the reception could say “Please join us in celebrating the wedding of…” / “We got hitched on [date here]! Please join us in commemorating our union” / or somemthing along those lines.
Post # 5
Hey! We are having an intimate wedding (immediate family only) and then having larger receptions afterward (one in FI’s hometown and one in mine).
Our invitations say:
Front: We’re tying the knot! Please join us for a reception blahblah…
Back: Sweet and Mr. Sweet will be married in a small ceremony on January 6. We hope you’ll join us the following weekend for a casual family reception to celebrate their new life together. Blahblahdetails…
We had to do them in this kind of future tense (rather than “Sweet and Mr. Sweet are married!”) because we had to send out the invitations like two months before the actual party–so like 1.5 months BEFORE we’re married.
We are not registering, but that is in part because we live in a 300 sq ft apartment and seriously cannot get any more stuff, haha. We are telling people that gifts are not expected. If they get us a gift or give us money/gift cards, we will graciously accept them. I think it’s totally fine to register, though–just don’t put it on anything and let it spread via word of mouth. I would also be very gracious about saying that you’re not expecting anything!
Post # 6
@simplicitea: & @howsweetitis:
Either of these will do.
For our own Back Home Reception we sent out our Invites over Christmas (while we were away Eloping)
They basically said:
Mr TT and Miss R
are eloping & getting married
Celebrate with us upon our return
Date – Time – Location
Ours was very casual, the RSVPs went to our Wedding Website which was handy as I was collecting data while we were on our Honeymoon… and we also included Directions and other info for our Guests to refer to.
It was a fabulous evening … and were were overwhelmed by the generosity of our Family & Friends who came out in the middle of a snowstorm to celebrate with us.
It was an AWESOME event.
Post # 7
@howsweetitis: Thanks for the response! I don’t expect gifts either, but a couple friends and family have been asking where we plan to register so I wasn’t exactly sure.
@This Time Round: Thank you for the example!! It sounds like you had a marvelous wedding and reception!
Post # 8
@simplicitea: A majority of people that I’ve known to elope have had a reception at home either right after returning or within a couple of months. Just because people can’t be there to witness it (destination elopement) doesn’t mean they won’t want to celebrate with you.
Recently, 2 couples in our family have “eloped” but didn’t have a reception or celebration and I was bummed about the no reception.
Post # 9
@texasbee: You make a great point! I definitely want to have a reception, but didn’t want to call it a “wedding” since it technically isn’t.