Opinions please (workplace and wedding issues!)

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should we do?
    Host a lunch, explain that it is a small venue/family only, but we still wanted to celebrate w/ them : (7 votes)
    16 %
    Invite the partners : (0 votes)
    Invite everyone to the ceremony only : (0 votes)
    Don't do anything, just let it be : (36 votes)
    84 %
    Other (please explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee

    MiamiMavencita:  my FI and I have this same issue.  He just graduated law school.  We are not getting married for awhile, but we don’t plan invite his whole firm. Just one of his friends and the partner he works for.  We talked about a luncheon.  Still not sure.  Good luck. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    4640 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Why would you host a lunch for yourselves in his work place? That sounds awkward and unnecessary.

    Let it be.

    Just because someone makes small talk with you it doesn’t mean they’re itching to be invited to your wedding. If you’re not friends with these people, I see absolutely no reason to invite them to a social event that has nothing to do with work whatsoever.

    Post # 4
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

    Mention the venue size to the gal who is helping her sister plan.  “Oh yes, we’ve had such a hard time with the guest list- our venue allows 80 and we’ve met that with just family!  It’s too bad we had that set before FI started working with such great people…”   She might be a good one to spread the word about it since she probably understands those constraints more right now… And about inviting the partners?  I think your FI might have to make that call.  If he’s in an office where that sort of personal invite is expected by the partners, it might need to happen to help his professional persona. 

    Personally, I wouldn’t want to host a luncheon for his office folks- that might seem a little like you’re asking for gifts.  I hate saying that because I don’t think it’s your intention AT ALL, but I think people may view it that way.  With the mention of it to your planning chat buddy, she might suggest something or even host something for you- it’ll take off the pressure on you guys. 

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    From each of our work places, we only invited our close friends/co workers, and our bosses. He invited his 3 higher ups, and I invited my 3 higher ups. I think I invited around 8 co workers, and he invited 3.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    MiamiMavencita:  no. 

    do you have a relationship outside the office? if not, then definitely not. 

    and aside from the wedding, you don’t host anything for yourselves.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’d just let it be. I’m sure most of them understand the reality that not everyone will be invited to the wedding. I work in a large office (75 people plus security, cleaners, restaurant staff) and stuck to inviting my unit.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    MiamiMavencita:  I’m very close with my higher ups, I talk with them everyday, they’re even participating in my bridal shower [the females anyway]. I’ve known the owner of the company since I was 5 years old, so I kind of had to invite him.

    As for SO.. he works closely with his higher up, but the two above him he doesn’t see that often, but they do ask about the wedding often so we invited them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    You are under no obligation to invite any work people to the wedding unless you are close to them and you have nothing to feel guilty about. 

    Most people understand that weddings are expensive and sometimes very small affairs; the rest of them will just have to ponder why they weren’t invited to their casual-acquaintance level work colleague’s wedding.

    You have more important things to worry about.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2882 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I understand that law offices can be policital mine fields.  DH works in one as well.  We didn’t have venue space concerns, but we were close to not inviting his coworkers when he had been there for 6 years.  I think PP had it right with the idea of just mentioning the space issue to the co-worker that you are talking wedding stuff with, and leave it at that.  If your FI has only been there a year, I bet most people assume they won’t be invited.  I know DH has had two new associates get married shortly after joining, and we were not invited to either wedding. 

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