Post # 1
My fiance and I at first agreed to have an adult-only wedding. Then he decided he wanted to make an exception for his father’s 6-year-old kid from his second marriage. He says it’s okay to make an exception, but everywhere I’m reading says it’s only okay if the child is part of the wedding party (junior bridesmaid or ringbearer etc. I guess). He isn’t part of the wedding party. I don’t want to make an exception, I think that defeats the purpose of an adult reception because wouldn’t it be unfair to not invite anyone else’s kids (which I don’t want to)?
Post # 3
@marie2534: We are inviting our nieces only. So I guess thats an exception.
Post # 4
@marie2534: it’s his sibling, I think that is an ok exception. If anyone says anything just say “we wanted
brother to be there”. That’s immediate family.
Post # 5
@marie2534: I would just be worried that the kid would be so bored. There wont be any other kids there for them to play with. What will he do all night? I agree with you though, it does defeat the purpose but for siblings I would make an exception for them, they are your immediate family who should be at your wedding.
Post # 6
…. isn’t his father’s 6-year-old kid from a different marriage your FI’s brother? Half-brother, sure, but still, I think it would keep peace between FI and his father. If I didn’t invite my kid brother (also a half-brother) shit would hit the fan because he’d miss all those family pictures and my stepdad would feel slighted. Idk. I think it’s different in this case because he’s family, not just a friend’s kid.
Post # 7
I would consider a sibling an absolute MUST to the exception list!
Post # 8
I think siblings are of course a perfect and reasonable exception, but I think you need to be prepared to do a LOT of explaining. If someone made special arrangements because of the adult only reception, and then they see a kid there, they’re probably going to be kind of upset in the “why does that kid get to be here but mine doesnt” way.
On the flip side though and adult only party with ONE 6 year old sounds like a total drag for the 6 year old.
Post # 9
Half brother is an exception! He will be a part of your extended family, and no one will think a thing of it! At 6, he is old enough to have fun, and be quiet during the ceremony! Excluding this Kid would not be good… Excluding friends toddlers or random pre-teens with no relationship with you is different than a sibling!
Post # 10
@marie2534: I’d say immediate family is an obvious exception- while the kid won’t care either way, his parents will, and as he grows up, remembering/seeing pics that he was at his brother’s wedding will be a positive family bonding thing.
There’s a difference between allowing children to attend as a convenience for your guests and allowing children because the child himself is an important member of the immediate family. Regardless of formality level, siblings should be there.
Post # 11
By all means, the brother should be there. We made exceptions for my nieces.
Too bad iif someone else gets upset about it.
Post # 12
We started the cut off at 16 [16 and older are invited, any younger and they aren’t], and of course, our flower girl will be invited.
Post # 13
@marie2534: that’s his brother – immediate family, not extended family like nieces. I think your fiancé will regret leaving his half sibling out.
Post # 14
IMO siblings are an automatic no brainer exception. The 6 yr old is immediate family.
Post # 15
I remember my mom was up in a tizzy when I didn’t want to invite my older teen cousin. She was 18 or 19 at the time I think. My cut off was 21, but more importantly “did I want them there?” She argued because my husband’s 13 y o sister was invited. Duh! That’s his sister. Siblings are different than cousins, neices and nephews, God kids, and friends’ kids.
Post # 16
Examples of acceptable exceptions:
1. Siblings of the bride and groom
2. First cousins of the bride and groom
3. Children who are in the wedding party
4. Infants (<1yr), especially if they are breastfed