Post # 1
SO my GF knows a proposal is eminent and I know the waiting is driving her a bit nutty. We have a vacation coming up soon and I’m sure she thinks the proposal is likely to happen, unfortunately logistics didn’t work to allow for that. I will not have had a chance to speak with her father yet, the ring is being made but will not be done before we leave so it just isn’t going to happen on vacation.
So I do have a plan and can’t wait for the ring to be done but I don’t want it to sour our vacation together. So my question is if this was you would you want to be told soon but not on vacation or would it not matter to you? I suspect she’ll think I’m just trying to throw her off even if i do tell her. She may beloved me though since when it comes to her I am the worlds absolute worst at keeping a secret… thank god this is the only thing I’ve tried to cover up or lie about since i would never getaway with anything lol
I already gave away its coming which I think was a bit of a let down for her but I don’t think suchna thing should be a complete surprise.
So your thoughts? Tell her she’ll have to wait or just keep letting it drive her nuts?
Post # 3
I would tell her. If it were me, I’d get my hopes up terribly and then be crushed if it didn’t happen. Just tell her as seriously as possible, so she doesn’t think you’re trying to throw her off….if that’s possible 🙂
Post # 4
everyone – myself included – was convinced my (now) FH was going to propose when he took me to his parents house for Christmas this past year. We’ve been together 8+ years, this would have been my 2nd Christmas at their house and everyone has been impatiently waiting for us to finally be engaged. Christmas seemed pretty logical. I’d gotten my hopes up so many times in the past and been disappointed. I was hinting pretty heavily and indicated there was really only 1 thing I wanted for Christmas. FH finally told me that it ‘probably wouldn’t be ready for Christmas’ that allowed me to psyc myself up to not be disappointed Christmas morning when I didn’t get the ring.
I did end up getting it for my 30th birthday (10 days late and a few tears – not in front of him – later…I was convinced it would never happen)
I would tell her, especially if she’s dropping hints that she thinks it will happen (or if you know she thinks it will happen). The last thing you want is an upset, disappointed girl.
Post # 5
You should propose to her on vacation without the ring 🙂 It’s hard to say what you should do. You know her better than us. Some women will find a way to be miserable with waiting either way.
Post # 6
Please please PLEASE tell her! I waited all through Christmas holidays and New Years (our anniversary) because we discussed getting engaged around that time and nothing! I was nervous and excited the whole 2 weeks and its sad to say, but it kind of ruined the holidays for me. We got engaged a few months later but all I remember is how disappointed I was 🙁
Post # 7
@mr52: For the love of Batman, please tell her so she can relax and enjoy her vacation without wondering constantly if you’re going to do it.
Alternately: Propose with a stand-in ring/no ring.
Post # 8
Pretty strong results… I guess a little talk is in order before we go. I really appreciate the responses and votes. I know I’m about as excited as her for this to happen. Thanks everyone for helping me decide how to make sure she has a great vacation all I want is for her to be happy and to have a great time on the beach with her 🙂
Post # 9
@mr52: Definitely tell her. I’ve seen countless posts on here where the girl thinks it’ll happen on vacation, and is crushed when it doesn’t. She lets it ruin the entire trip.
Tell her that it is coming soon and that you’re not just trying to throw her off. If she doesn’t believe you well then that’s her own fault. At least you tried.
Post # 10
Tell her. We are going to Guatemala and Belize this summer and I’d be so, so hopeful (and then so,so disappointed) if I didn’t know it wasn’t happening until later this year.
Post # 11
@mr52: Another vote for telling her. But please, please put a positive spin on it, like “I want to do it closer to home because that’s where we’ll be building our life together” or “it’s too obvious to propose on vacation — I’m going to keep you on your toes.”
You could definitely propose without a ring if you’re okay with that. Then she can be surprised once by the proposal and surprised again by the ring! (My fiance proposed with a ring, and I can tell you it was the last thing on my mind at that moment, but it was important to him to have it all together).
Post # 12
@AxolotlFan: +1 about the positive spin
I’m sure you know by now how us women like to overthink everything at all times and then ruin the present lol. You’ll both have a better time if it’s out there that it’ll be after vaca!! Have fun!
Post # 13
No woman should expect a proposal. i didnt expect a proposal. Put the thought out of my mind. Of course we had the wedding talk, but it isn’t in my control to know or expect when a proposal was coming. He did it when he was ready and it was awesome.
if she gets upset and your vacation or after is ruined. I’m so sorry.
Post # 14
I would definitely tell her that it will be soon but that you specifically wanted to tell her in advance that it will NOT be while you’re on vacation. Simply tell her — without giving any other details — that logistics would not allow for that to happen and that you just wanted her to know this ahead of time so that she’s able to relax and truly enjoy the vacation.
Post # 15
I would tell her. I suspected that my fiance would do it while on our Disneyland vacation and I drove myself crazy and didn’t enjoy the day as much as I could have. It did happen later that night but I was worrying about it all day rather than enjoying our time together.
Post # 16
I would tell her. I’m very thankful that my SO told me not to expect a proposal on a vacation we recently took. I would have been expecting one and possibly a bit disappointed, but instead I was able to enjoy it and not get my hopes up.