(Closed) Oppinions Please!!! Let me know what you think!

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 4
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t know much about ketubot, but it sounds good. Just a grammar thing – semicolons only go after phrases that could be complete sentences. I think you might want to change some to commas.

Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

It is very beautiful.  Since you want it to be perfect (mind you, I’m no English professor)…

I agree with jedeve regarding the use of semicolons instead of commas.  Also I think “to revel and share in you  joys and accomplishments” should be “your” but since there are two spaces, I think it was just a copy/paste problem. Ditto for “support you other” which was probability initially each other and correctly changed to “you”.

Also, “I vow to establish a home open to all of life’s potential; a home filled with respect for all people; a home based on love and understanding; in which holidays and heritage are celebrated in accordance with Jewish and Christian cultures and traditions, and respect is fostered for the cultures and beliefs of both our families. ” is a little confusing because you have a comma with the semicolons and you switch the noun that the clauses are modifying.  Maybe you could say “I vow to establish a home open to all of life’s potential, filled with respect for all people, based on love and understanding, in which holidays and heritage are celebrated in accordance with Jewish and Christian cultures and traditions, and where respect is fostered for the cultures and beliefs of both our families.

 

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