- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Both my husband and I have friends of the opposite sex, mostly from work. I work at a high school with a large number of male teachers and my husband works at a middle school with mostly female employees.
It has been this way since we met, so it has never been an issue. My hubby did admit about being a little jealous just before he proposed because of a new co-worker of mine, but he got over it as soon as I said "yes" -- I had no idea. He shared this with me three months after we were married!
No, I do not have friends of the opposite sex, neither does he. While I think it ok to have those friendships, I do not think it appropriate to hang out with those friends alone (without the significant other). My husband's last girlfriend was just a friend at first. I just think it keeps things simple, and I am just old-fashioned like that.
My best friend in the entire world is male... and so are most of my other friends. I was friends with most of them before I started dating my husband... and if he had a problem with me maintaining the friends I had before he came around, regardless of gender, I would not have married him. Period. If I was hiding the friendships or lying about who I was with, that would be one thing, but my husband always knows when I am out with one of them (alone) and he never cares. In a relationship, it is always important to maintain friendships, and mine just happen to mostly be with me. Luckily, however, my husband has become very close with most of my friends as well, which makes me really happy.
In a few months, my husband is moving away for several years, and he even comments about how glad he is that I have my male friends who will be staying in this area, in the event something ever happens and I need help, or just to spend time with, rather than sitting around at home moping about my long-distance marriage.
My husband's best friend is female, and several of my very very close friends are male. We had a few bumps when we started dating, but once everyone met everyone, it has been fine!
4436536.jpg (34.8 KB, 77 downloads) 2 years old 7730675.jpg (25.2 KB, 61 downloads) 2 years old 3000822.jpg (32.4 KB, 49 downloads) 2 years old 7282871.jpg (36.8 KB, 58 downloads) 2 years old 9898022.jpg (35.8 KB, 43 downloads) 2 years old 4720-2.jpg (76.7 KB, 45 downloads) 2 years old 
My very best friends are girls, but I have some great guy friends. I made sure that he got to know them too, so he would be comfortable with the friendships and understand that there was NO sexual tension with any of them! I think that is key. I actually stayed with one guy friend for a week when I was in London, and my now husband was a dream - not the slightest bit jealous. Lucky me!
VeraWang9%20Oct[1].jpg (13.4 KB, 38 downloads) 2 years old Dress3.JPG (4664.8 KB, 41 downloads) 2 years old Dress_1.jpg (17.8 KB, 36 downloads) 2 years old Marisa-Trumpet-726-Ivory-2009-38882.jpg (49.8 KB, 39 downloads) 2 years old Marisa-Trumpet-726-Diamond-White-2009-.jpg (73.1 KB, 45 downloads) 2 years old (1035)2[1].jpg (1243.7 KB, 40 downloads) 2 years old 
My best friend is a guy, and I have a number of guy friends and luckily Mr. E is fine with it. He is now friends with my friends and we all hang out in a group most of the time. But I try to have dinner with my best (guy) friend about once a month, one-on-one.
I don't know, I guess I'd have to say we're pretty old-fashioned when it comes to something like this. I have very few guy friends, other than the friends of my husband's that are my friends as well. And vise versa with my husband. Pretty much we are friends with all of each other's friends, so we usually hang out with a mixed crowd as a couple. I don't mean to sound jealous, but I think I would have a real problem if the hubby would hang out, one-on-one, with another girl. I feel like a guy's best girl friend should be his wife and a girl's best guy friend should be her husband. Like I said, we're old-fashioned.
I think this is a very important key when you want to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex. Don't be touchy feely with your friend, even if you consider yourself to be a naturally affectionate person. Sure, it is possible to make physical contact without inciting sexual attraction, but hormones can play tricks on us!
The best of all my friends are guys, I've just always gotten along with them better and feel more comfortable around them. I've always had problems with girls being too catty.
Both of us think it is not good to have close friendships with the opposite sex. We have acquiantences but nothing more than that. This is not a problem because neither of us had a lot of friendships with the opposite sex, so it made it easy to clarify boundries.
Particularly b/c I'm in a very male profession (physicist) I've always had many male friends. And at times I'd say my closest friends have been male. But as I've gotten older I'd say that's changed a lot. Partially b/c a couple of my closest male friends are also exes (though I consider at least one like a brother) which makes the fiance uncomfortable, and partially b/c their SO's don't really like it either. My fiance, however, is having a female attendant...a friend he's literally grown up with. I get along with her great, and it was actually my idea for him to ask her, so I don't have a problem with this. I also continue to hang out with several male friends (most not exes) as does my FH, alone or with fiance and their SO, and I don't think this bothers either of us. But I definitely do feel that since I've been with my fiance (even before we got engaged), my relationship with male friends has changed...something that never happened with any previous BF's.
Nonetheless I don't think in principle it's wrong for either of us to spend time with a friend of the opposite sex, it just gets more complicated if there is a romantic history.
I've always had a bunch of male friends and a couple really close female friends, but mostly this was because of my classes (engineering and medicine). FI grew up with the two daughters of his parents' friends, so they're basically like siblings.
It's not a problem because 1) the friendships predate our relationship, 2) both of us are really sensitive to what might make the other person feel uncomfortable, and are careful to protect against that, and 3) we both know how special our relationship is and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. The first time my guy met >10 of my friends was at a wedding-- and almost all were groomsmen! They tend to look out for me like a little sister, but he was just himself and won them over. I think it all depends on the level of trust you have for your SO; couples differ widely, I'm sure.
One benefit to such platonic relationships? I like football (only selected teams) but won't complain about watching most sports, and FI is really tolerant of my girly shows and CSI.
Before FI, the majority of my friends were male, though by best friend has always been my MOH, a girl. Like fizicsgirl, I've lost contact with most of them. After being part of a couple for so long the only ones I still hang out with are those who are also in serious relationships. I didn't mean to lose contact with them, and it certainly wasn't due to jealosy on FI's part, but we just drifted apart. I guess that could easily happen with my single female friends too, if it wasn't for my need to do occasional girly stuff that only they could appreciate.
ring_bearer_pillow_wine_ribbon_004.jpg (723.8 KB, 32 downloads) 2 years old 
I've always had a lot of male friends - partly because I'm an engineer, and partly because as far as I'm concerned guys seem to do most of the fun stuff. I would generally rather go rock climbing or skiing or kayaking in my spare time than go shopping or do crafty things. I do have a few kick-ass girlfriends, but honestly I often end up bored and frustrated with the way a lot of women act around just women. I make sure that my husband knows my guy friends, and it's not an issue for him. Most of my guy friends are now his friends too.
He doesn't really have female friends the way I have male friends - the only women he counts as friends are one of my girlfriends and the wife of one of his male friends.
I actually think it's good for men and women to have friends of the opposite sex, or at least siblings of the opposite sex. Men who have women friends or sisters, in my experience, tend to really understand and like women better than men who don't. And I think that works the other way around too.
although i have a bunch of guy friends, i try not to get too close (as in call them to vent and whatnot). i think once you open up to a guy like that things tend to get very intimate and then one thing could potentially lead to another. Just speaking from experience; it could be different for other people.
Mr. Cupcake and I both have friends of the opposite sex, and neither of us has a problem with it. We met at the Halloween party of two girls he went to college with that he was visiting for the weekend. He is still close with both of them and it doesn't bother me at all if he hangs out with one or both of them without me. They both have boyfriends but even if they didn't, I wouldn't feel threatened. I know he loves me and I know there is nothing inappropriate about those friendships, plus those girls are also my friends.
I also have male friends, although I do see them less now than I did when Mr. Cupcake and I first got together (mostly because they've moved away or have also gotten involved in serious relationships). But again, Mr. Cupcake knows I love him and he trusts me that any male friends I have are truly just friends. I think it's healthy to have friends of the opposite sex and in five years together it's never been a problem between us.
silver_wedding_011.JPG (1133.1 KB, 56 downloads) 2 years old silver_wedding_010.JPG (1273.3 KB, 44 downloads) 2 years old silver_wedding_001.JPG (1224.2 KB, 47 downloads) 2 years old 
My FI and I have many friends of the opposite sex. Its funny but I am a guys girl and he is a girls guy. We work perfectly with each other. I have other friends that are girls and he has friends that are guys and we usually don't hang out with the opposite sex friends when we aren't in a group but I think its normal to have opposite sex friends. As long as you trust each other, there is nothing to hide! It's also a good out let if you need to ask advice for presents and stuff like that! :)
I do have a fair amount of male friends - go figure that I'm in engineering. I don't think Mr. Bean has any problems with me being friends with them and I don't have any problem with him having female friends.
Both Mr Ant and I have a good mix of both male and female friends. There have been occasions where we end up hanging out alone with a friend of the opposite sex. For example, one of his closest friends (female) was in town for a business trip and they had dinner together. And a good friend of mine (male) saw that the NY Philharmonic was performing one of my favorite pieces and we watched the concert together. I don't think there's anything wrong with this dynamic as long as your partner is comfortable with it and there's a strong foundation of trust between the two of you.
I have mostly male friends. I find it easier to talk to them than women. Plus all the guys I'm friends with get my sense of humor whereas most females don't.
My FI doesn't have any female friends, but if he did I'm not sure how I'd feel, but I don't think it would bother me too much. I mean, they're just friends! :D
I have one male friend and when we hang out, it is always just the two of us, but it is totally innocent. My FI has female friends, but rarely hangs out with them if I'm not there. He did actually just have breakfast with two old female friends who were in town visiting, but I couldn't go because I was babysitting my little brother. I was jealous that I couldn't go out to breakfast, but not at all worried about him hanging out with them.
Some of my best friends are guys and my FI is cool with that. He also has female friends who he stays in contact with on a regular basis. Trust is so important to a relationship and I feel lucky to have someone who loves me and trusts me completely.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rivendeler | 10 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| janetsnakehole | 6 |
| ellisrobertson | 6 |
| MrsOliveBird | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| ndreighton | 5 |
| NehaPrasad92 | 4 |
 turtles73 |
4 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| autumnvee | 1 |
Do you hang out with members of the opposite sex?
I don't really have many female friends... I'm not sure why. I used to have more but I got busy with life and when I looked up, they were all gone. I do vaguely maintain a few female friendships, but mostly over phone or IM.
I have no problem with Mrs. Bee having male friends! If it ever bothered me, I would say something.
How about you... do you hang out with members of the opposite sex?
Attachments