Opposite sex friendships.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Opposite sex friendships
    Only ones prior to relationship : (20 votes)
    17 %
    No opposite sex friendships : (13 votes)
    11 %
    Both prior and since the relationship : (54 votes)
    47 %
    Yes but we don't hang out one on one : (28 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    6446 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Ap2010:  I work in a male dominated field. If I didn’t have male friends I wouldn’t have many friends at all. That being said, I usually hang out with them in a group and not one on one. I met some previous to meeting DH and others after meeting DH.

    Post # 4
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Ap2010:  I have a lot of make friends from before I met SO but all but one are gay, so that is probably different than the dynamic you are asking about. My one straight male friend is living out of state and we haven’t managed to see each other on his trips home since I met SO. Not sure how intentional that is. 

    Post # 5
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m an engineer who likes to backpack and rock climb, so yes, I have male friends that I hang out with one-on-one.  Some were friends from before H and I started dating and some were after.  It’s no big deal.

    Post # 6
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I don’t really have any male friends, except for a couple at church, and my husband’s guy friends of course.

    Would I hang out with them one on one? I suppose, though realistically that wouldn’t really happen except if my husband didn’t come to church or one of our church activities and I went without him. If that was the case, it would not be a problem in our relationship.

    FWIW, my husband also has just a couple of female friends, and I am ok with him hanging out with them one on one (I know them, like them, and know that they respect our marriage) but again it doesn’t really happen more than maybe twice a year. Otherwise, we all socialize together.

    Post # 7
    3009 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Ap2010:  Do? Would? Can??? YES. I am 35. I have well established friendships. I wouldn’t ever consider being with someone who thought they could ask me not to continue these relationships. I think of one guy in particular- we meet for dinner or beers every 2 or 3 months, just the two of us. It’s not a date, has never felt like a date. I value our friendship and my SO has never once even commented. If I wanted to date my friend, I would!

    Post # 8
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t have any and I don’t want any, really. In the past it always turned out one or the other developed a crush, so it ruined all sex-opposite friendships I ever had. I can hang out with coworkers or classmates at the cafeteria, but they’re not ”friends”, we don’t see each other out of work or class. 


    Post # 9
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I don’t have any close male friends, but I do have some male acquaintances. Same for my FI and females.

    I’ll have lunch or dinner w. an acquaintance, but I won’t go to his house alone or anything like that.

    The past few years I just haven’t felt comfortable having close male friends, even back when I was single. The last one admitted he was in love with me… it has happened to me numerous times and then is so awkward. I don’t plan on forging any deep relationships w. males. I just don’t think it would be appropriate for a number of reasons.

    Post # 10
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I have male friends that I’ve met both before and after the relationship. I prefer to hang out with my single friends without my husband because I don’t want them to feel like a 3rd wheel. 

    Post # 11
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was pretty friendly with my male co-teacher! But we were NOT each other’s “type” (and spent all day talking about baby poop, so…)

    Post # 12
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    FI and started dating really young – we grew out of any opposite sex friends.

    Post # 13
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t care who my husband hangs out with as along as their decent, law abiding citizens.  If he meets a female he gets along with, great go hang out with her in a group, alone, whatever. I trust him. 

    Post # 14
    5968 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I don’t care who DH is friends with. I trust his judgement and his ability to respect our marriage. I have male friends. He has female friends. I couldn’t be with someone who thought it was ok to try and dictate who I could and couldn’t be friends with, regardless of gender.

    Post # 15
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    i think men and women can be platonic friends. Fi has friends who are female, i have friends who are male. it’s not a problem. where there’s trust, there’s trust.

    Post # 16
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have male friends but I know them with their wives too, we wouldn’t hang out one-on-one. My husband has female friends that he has known since school and some that he lived with at university – doesn’t bother me in the slightest that he is friends with them. He doesn’t see them one-on-one but that’s because his uni friends live further away so if they do see each other it is as a group with other halves too

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