(Closed) Opposite shifts – does it get better?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve been there. My ex husband was a musician, so he was always gone when I was home, and vice versa. For 17 years I ate dinner alone most nights.

And my current husband is a GM at a pub. He mostly works days, but occasionally works the night shift and always works weekends. You just have to really make the time together special when you do have it. Doesn’t mean you have to paint the town – but definitely spend time together, even if just going for a walk, watching a movie, etc. Leave him notes in his work bag/lunch bag, in his car, etc. Stick a note to the door so he sees it when he comes home. Little things like this add up. πŸ™‚ Keep your chin up!

Post # 4
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

SO and I were on opposite shifts before. It is difficult but you will fall into your “groove” soon. You will have to set aside time for your relationship and enjoy the small things. I promise it gets a little easier!!!

Post # 5
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve been there too. My DH worked the night shift a few years ago, and it was really hard because I would leave for work just after he got home to go to sleep, and he would leave for work before I got home in the evening. It was also tough because he couldn’t readjust to being awake during the day on his days off unless he had 3 days off in a row! We also just found out he is getting put back on night shift in a few weeks, so I am REALLY not looking forward to it!

Post # 6
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We work opposite shifts and have for 1.5 years; I work overnights and he works days.  It hasn’t gotten better for us.  There are nights where he’s coming home as I’m walking out the door.  I’ve been so miserable lately because I haven’t seen him or spent more than an hour or two with him for a month.  He’s been working 7 days a week doing plumbing work here in Jersey to help restore things plus your normal plumbing work.

I am, thankfully, going to days in January.  I can’t wait.

Post # 7
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i work overnights and my husband works days. we know how you feel.

you get used to it in a depressing sort of way… but it would be much better if we were on the same shift. We are TTC and actually have to schedule sex with each other because of work.

We were going to try to get my shift changed, but since we are trying to have a baby… we figured that the cost of daycare in our area would be as much as I already make. So it makes more financial sense to stay on opposite shifts so we always have one parent at home. So… until we eventually make me a full-time housewife, i’m stuck on the overnight shift.

Post # 8
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been in this situation with a SO as well. It definitely didn’t get better, sorry! My FI was on second shift until recently and I’m self-employed. I’m looking for full-time work, but working normal hours with him on second shift really made me nervous. They just switched him to first, thank God!

Sometimes you do what you have to do. Make a point to spend the time you do have together in quality ways. 

Post # 9
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

FI and I work different shifts. He goes to work at 4:30 am and I go to work at 3 pm. :/ It sucks! But you just have to seriously appreciate the time you have with him. We used to go on 1-2 dates per month, but with our new work schedule we make sure we have at least a few hours every week “date” time, whether it be lunch on Saturday or a night out.

Post # 14
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@deucesarewild1:  I’m in a somewhat similar situation right now. I have a crappy retail job and because I’m new/ seasonal, I get stuck with all the closing shifts. FH works at a bank, so he goes in at 7:30am and gets out at 5. I go into work between 3-4:30 and work until 10. He goes to bed at 9pm because he has to get up somewhat early.

Oh, and I still live at home, so… that gets tough πŸ™ 

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