(Closed) Opting out of family Thanksgiving?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would still make the dinner and have your Grandma come over. Blow out fights take some time to resolve – if your parents miss out, its their loss.  Some time apart may let both parties cool down. Especially where the issue such a touchy on. You are right, I wouldn’t want to talk to my RL friends about an issue like this either.

My parents can be prejudiced against homosexuals sometimes. My neighbors in my hometown are gay. I have no problems with this, and have a great relationship with them, plus I have lots of gay friends myself. My parents are always nice to them, but then sometimes, my mother especially, makes the occasional rude comment. I always stand up for my neighbors (and gay people in general!), and then my mom proceeds to tell me how she was “just joking!” (yeah right).

Post # 6
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Try not to stress too much Arizona (although its easier said than done)! I find that holidays put additional pressure on people to have a “perfect” holiday get together. REAL families often have real drama.

I would just be honest with your Grandma if she asks. Just let her know you and your parents had a disagreement, and you hope they will still join you for Thanksgiving.

One of the things I take great comfort in is knowing FI always has my back. No matter what blowout is going on with my parents, he is always there for me. Take this time to let FI comfort you too – he definitely sounds like a stand-up guy!

Post # 7
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, I would suck it up and host thanksgiving. My parents and I have different views on life as well. I have just learned that I am, unfortunately, unable to change them. But I have also learned that life is too short.

Post # 9
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Well your FI certainly sounds like an awesome guy. And good for him!

I say try to have your Grandmother over on your own, there’s no reason why you should miss out on a holiday with her. And let your parents know that they’re more than welcome as well but you cannot allow that type of behavior in your home. I had a similar problem on my B-day with a gay cousin and a homophobic friend. If you can’t play nice – don’t come.

One more thing – I know you don’t want your grandmother to know about the fight but you might want to talk to her about it. She’ll notice if your parents aren’t there and she’ll def. know if you’re all arguing. And hey, ya never know – grandma might just be the voice of reason for your parents.

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