Post # 1
Hey all, so here’s the situation:
My roomie with FI is one of the sweetest people I know. Lovely, amazing girl. Recently out of nowhere she starts receiving letters that are insane… some random person is essentially slut-shaming her via snail mail. Maybe she pissed someone off, idk, but she’s really upset. I feel terrible for her and I have this horrible feeling its going to get worse… like email and facebook worse… gut feeling and yes im a worrier, but my gut is usually right.
Does anyone know if there’s anything we can do?? As in legal processes and ramifications for whoever the hell is doing it. I realize that it may just end up not being worth it for fees and whatnot, but she’s distraught so SOMETHING Needs to be done…
Any help would be awesome. Thank you so much.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@marhealy: Restraining Order
Post # 4
Does she know who is sending the letters?
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@marhealy: I would suspect a neighbor or did she go on a date recently so that it may be from a crazy ex? Contact the local police ASAP and file a report then look into a restraining order.
Post # 6
Does she know who is sending them? If so, she can probably get a restraining/no-contact order (especially if there has been more than one letter). If not, I’m not sure there is much the police can do besides document it at this stage. However, if it starts coming from Facebook/email, maybe they can trace the email address? I’m not sure what it would take for them to do that or even if the local police have those kind of capabilities. All I can suggest is encourage her to go to the police and at least file a report so there is a paper trail if it escalates.
Post # 7
I’m guessing this person is choosing snail mail so they can avoid being traced.
Harassment by phone, email/internet is too easy. I would just stop opening the letters.
Post # 8
I’d go straight to the police and file a report. They will guide you as to how to proceed from there.
I am not trying to make your anxiety worse, but from a safety standpoint you should be aware that this is how some stalkers begin their behavior before it ramps up to something more extreme. Maybe it’s a prankster…but maybe not, and better safe than sorry.
Post # 9
She has no clue who it could be. She’s not very social so its not an ex or recent date. The letters are posted from new york, and she doesnt know anyone from there. Orherwise restraining order would be perfect.
Would the police even bother trying to track something through fb or email? I hate to say it but with all the other kinds of crime out there non-violent, fb and email to a grown woman sounds kinda like… ok, block them, delte it. Ya know?
Post # 10
@marhealy: What is happening is considered stalking, and so she should report it to the police and bring the letters. I think you are quite right that it could escalate.
If they can figure out who did it (someone crazy enough to be doing this might have a history and fingerprints on file) she can get a restraining order, plus stalking as a crime if punshiable with fines or jail sentences (albeit it stupidly short ones).
It it does escalate to internet things, make sure she saves it all and documents in a journal when everything comes in.
Post # 11
Definitely file a police report. Maybe put some in a baggie and they can fingerprint them. It’s a long shot, but who knows. I would make sure her FB setting are as private as possible.
Does she have any idea who would be doing it?
Edit making a police report is also to document what has been happening and for how long in case things escalate.
Is it possible someone has just randomly gotten her address somewhere and is trying to shame or threaten her into some sort of scam?
Post # 12
Make sure she keeps the letters and the envelopes they came in. Was there a post mark? Return address? (Ok, I doubt the person doing this is that silly, but . . . you never know). She could look into getting her address made unlisted, but until she next moves it would be useless, since the creep has found her. Definitely report it to the police though, so they can just add more to their file if/when things get worse.
Post # 13
Do they mention her by name? Are they trying to get something from her?
Post # 14
I would definitely make sure they’re all documented with the police. It would be awful if it got worse!
Post # 15
@marhealy: Unfortunately if she doesn’t know who they are from there’s not a ton to do at this point. I would file a report with the police, just so there’s a history/record of the harassment should it get worse. That really sucks!
Post # 16
@spiffanee: her name is on the envelope but nothing other than that. Not asking her for anything… its just usually a plain white sheet of paper with computer print on it.
And I realize in my immediate panic of finding yet another letter i did not mention that the slut shaming is being done in a very elementary school style… stupid rhymes and things you would find on those Rotten Ecards thing.
- If dicks could fly your mouth would be an airport
- If you were a cookie you would be a whoreo
- not saying you’re a slut but if someone kicked you in the p**** they would lose their shoe
Wtf is this, high school? Theyre still really hurting her though 🙁