- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I rushed into picking my bridesmaids which of course some people do and often times regret. I have one bridesmaid that at the time of chosing her was extremely close to but I hardly even see or talk to her now, there have even been times that I text her and never get a reply. She had tried to back out of my wedding once before because she felt uncomfortable that she wouldn’t know anyone but decided to stay in it to be there for me but ever since then things have gotten worse because she is no where to be found! In the last 4 months I have probably seen her twice and it was because her boyfriend and my fiancee are good friends ( we met through them) so the last times i’ve seen her was on a double date. I’ve tried telling her how much it hurt that she doesn’t really make an effort in our friendship ( I’m not asking for a lot, we all get busy but a short phone call or even a text to say ‘how is everything’ every once in a while would be nice) I gave her the option to back out of the wedding even so much as telling her that I know she would be more comfortable being a guest with her boyfriend.. she got a little snoddy and long story short she ended up staying in the wedding and two days later I guess to make it seem like she’s putting in effort we went on a double date to go eat (this was about a month ago) and then again didn’t hear from her.
Last week we got into a big arguement over something so small ( she was the one upset) it kind of was the last straw for me.. here I am having her in my wedding whe a. she doesn’t even talk to me and b. when I finally get a text from her its to yell at me. I tried texting her to ask her if she was still mad a FEW times but never got a response so I emailed her to straighten out our problems and wrote this in terms of her not being in my wedding anymore ” p.s (X) is her boyfriend
” I also wanted to talk about our friendship in general. Obviously when we met I felt you were an awesome person and felt pretty close to you which is why when I began thinking of who I wanted in my wedding you were one of the first people that popped into my head. I have a lot of friends that I have known for over 14 years and a lot of them I am still completely close to but the fact that I chose you instead of them hopefully shows you how much I value your friendship, how close I felt to you and how much I respected you. When I originally asked you to be in my wedding our friendship was really different, we saw and texted each other pretty often but now I don’t really speak to you and we’ve drifted apart. As much as it hurts me to say it I really think maybe it would be best if you attended the wedding as a guest instead of a bridesmaid. I’m not angry over the fact that we have drifted apart I’m just a little sad because I still love you as a friend and wish things were still the same between us. I really hope as a friend you will still be there on the most important day of my life because I would be heartbroken if you weren’t there.. I still hope you’d be there to celebrate with me and I still absolutely want you to be there for my bachelorette party and even want you to bring a few friends along because I think we will have the best time ever! Even though you’re not going to be a bridesmaid I still want all of my closest friends involved and if you’re up to it would love it if you could be a reader with X, I still value our friendship so much and still want you there , you are such an important person to me and I think that’s why I am so hurt that not only have we drifted apart but your also angry with me. I know deep down you would feel more comfortable being with X throughout the wedding and I just want everyone to be happy and comfortable. Hopefully we can see each other soon so that I can reimburse you for the dress and so I can give you a gift that I bought for you… I still love you and in no way want anything ruining our friendship, I hope you feel the same way. It does hurt me that you don’t put effort in just to at least text me to say hello but hopefully we can find a way to get closer again, we are all so busy so obviously the drifting has happened from both ends but I hope we could at least find a way to talk to each other more often than we do. I would hate to lose you as a friend and really just wanted to clear the air about everything.”
I tried making it as nice as possible because I still want to be friends with her and if she wants to ruin the friendship than that’s on her.. at least I can say I tried. My issue is the dresses have already been ordered and are due to come in September 12th, can they put a stop on making the dress? I don’t really care about getting the money back as long as I don’t actually lose it on a dress i’m never going to use! Is it still possible for them to put a stop on her dress and maybe give me a store credit instead or is the money completely lost on that dress?