(Closed) Our friend has feelings for my boyfriend and he is indifferent.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

yes, you definitely need to address them both and make sure there won’t be an issue. It could be that now she has had a chance to walk away, she feels differently. I was there when I was younger, so it can happen. She never tried to hide, was very respectable about it, so I would believe it she said she was ok now. But show caution for a while just in case

Post # 4
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Here’s my opinion, but keep in mind I’ve never been in this situation;

He doesn’t care because he doesn’t want her and there’s nothing he can do to change her side of things. If I were you, I’d just grin and bear it unless there is probable cause to think that she is going to try to to take and succeed. If you think she would succeed, then he clearly doesn’t value you and it’s a moot point anyway.

Post # 5
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think your bf reacting that way is a little concerning..the least he could have done is sit you down and tell you what transpired between them so to let you know.  You are his gf and it does directly impact how you think and feel.  It’s obvious he doesn’t have to hide anything as the friend openly admitted it she felt something for him..so if thing smoothed over between them..the least he could do is convey that to you. 

Post # 7
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@onedaysoon: well if the issue is disrespect (real or perceived) then you have to tell him that directly, “I feel like it is disrespectful.”

Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Does your bf know that it’s causing you to cry?  I think that’s pretty significant.  He really need to know how it makes you feel.  And hon..don’t cry…I know it sucks but you don’t know enough information to suggest he’d betray you.  You said so..your bf might just not have his thinking caps on and he just doesn’t realized his actions impact you.  Big hugs!

Post # 9
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im sorry you are dealing with this right now. I will say that I was in the opposite position for many years. I had a guy friend that was best friends with me and my 3 other close friends. We pretty much looked at him like a girl. He went shopping with us, and was always totally down with our girls nights in. He ended up having feelings for me but said that he’d never pursue anything knowing that I had a bf at the time and that I was not interesting in him romantically. My boyfriend was uncomfortable with it. I looked at it like he was my best friend and I could never look at him in a romantic way, so I didn’t see what the big deal was.

Now reading it, I realize I was inconsiderate, but it was just one of those things where I felt like I was being accused of something that would never happen. (And never did.)

I think that it is good that he is open about texting her and when they talk to eachother. I’d maybe just feel it out a bit more.

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