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I think it's totally within reason to request that he not post the pictures in a public arena (like flikr). I wouldn't even go into the retouching conversation... I'd just explain I don't want everyone to be able to see every photo. Most couples don't share 100s of pics with their friends and family, but rather dozens of their favorite photos from the day. If he wants to share some of them, to show his work to others, ask if you could approve the ones that will be put up in a public forum. Regardless of whether or not you paid him, if he's a friend, he should understand completely. :)
If you signed a contract that says he can use them for promotional purposes, he can do whatever he wants with them. :-/
No, we didn't sign a contract with him. He's just a good friend of ours so it was nothing like that.
I'd feel really bad asking him not to publicly show the pictures if he was trying to build a name for himself as a photographer. But I think he would like to show off his skills to people who check out his Flickr, so I feel I still feel a little bad about asking him not to post pictures.
Maybe we could ask to see all the photos first before he posts anymore, and then tell him which ones we're ok with him posting (whichever pictures I don't photoshop!)
I would start with a simple, "Hey, do you mind not posting the pictures on Flickr?" chances are he'll totally understand.
If he asks, be honest with him about wanting to do additional touching up on hair, make up, etc. - he may even be willing to do some of it for you!
I have always wondered how you make double chins disappear in photo shop - that is one of my biggest worries about my wedding pictures.
my DH does photography as a hobby and has done weddings for friends. I know he wouldn't have any problem with having you edit them.
I think you should just as the photographer to let you have all the photos before they go on flickr. Its a simple request. Maybe ask him to put them only visible to friends/family?
I think if he took them for free then he pretty much can post them as he'd like. 
Our photog did his for free and he just asked that we let him use them for promo shots. That being said I have a ton from my mom and fam (photographers as well) that I'll get this weekend (way before he'll get his done) so people will see the ones I photoshopped first.
You may want to ask him if you can get some copies of them or that he not post all of them so that you can show some to friends/family.
Kind of touchy. Technically, he has the copyright and you editing them is a violation, unless expressed that you have that permission. Regardless of whether or not he's building a business, they are his photos... and your friends will know if their pics are "touched up" if you're removing double chins and such.
These kinds of expectations are best discussed before weddings, but I would sit and have a chat and talk about how you love what he's putting out so far, but wanted to do some extra touching up before your friends see them. Ask him to make them private or to do further retouching or at least let him know what your expectations are.
but I still maintain, people will know their face has been retouched regardless of if they've seen the orig. version.. There's going to be a lot more unflattering pictures from peoples point and shoots than your friends version... it seems rather extreme and unfair to prohibit him from posting them on his flickr...
I agree that the best solution is probably to have a talk with him and tell him that I'd like to do a bit of photoshopping on the pictures to make everyone look their best before I share them with family and friends. I'll ask that he make the Flickr album private for now until we've seen all the pictures.
I'm sure he'll be ok with this, he is very laid back. I just worry about him thinking that I don't like his pictures or the photoshop work he's done, which is certainly not the case! If he wanted to do the touch ups like I am doing, then that would be fine too, but I don't really want to give him extra work.
I'm not worried about people seeing the touched up pictures and realizing that they look different. The touch ups I do are very subtle, and you can really only tell if you've seen the original picture. I don't like to make anyone look different than they do in real life, but if they are in an unflattering pose where their stomach is sticking out, or look like they have a double chin, I just reduce it a bit.
+1 to what KLP said. Contract or no contract, the copyrights automatically go to the "artist," in this case your friend. He can do whatever he wants with the photos, and if all he's doing this for is the portfolio material, then I also think it's unfair to take that away from him by asking him not to post the pics publicly. Even if he is willing to bend for being your friend, it's kind of taking advantage.
My other concern would be, are you sure you are skilled enough in PS to do this kind of retouching and still have it look good in print? I would be very careful, as this kind of thing done by a nonprofessional can easily look really really bad in print.
Overall, I'm very glad your situation turned out so well and you are happy with the photos! It's not often I see brides who had friends shoot their weddings and end up so happy, so yours must be very talented. Good find!
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A good friend of my husband's took our wedding photos for free. (Well, we gave him an awesome guitar as a thank you). He is an amazing photographer, although he only does it as a hobby. He has a great day job, but its very time consuming and I don't think he'd ever persue wedding photography as a career.
Anyways, so far he's posted 5 pictures of our wedding up on his Flickr account. I think he's photoshopping them in his spare time and posting them as he goes. The pictures I've seen so far are absolutely beautiful! However, while I like the pictures, he doesn't do any photoshopping on people. I know a bit about photoshop, so I like to take the pictures he posts and touch them up myself. Just little things that make me and the bridesmaids look a bit better, like adding more color to lips, or touching up skin and making double chins disapear.. that kind of thing.
The problem is that lots of our friends check our our photographer's Flickr account and will see the photos before they have been photoshopped by me. I really don't want anyone to see the pictures before I photoshop them, and I'd be especially embarrased if they realized that I had touched them up.
So what should I do? I don't know if we can ask him not to post the pictures on his Flickr since he took them for free. Should I just not worry about people noticing? My husband thinks I'm ridiculous for touching up the pictures at all, but I want them to be perfect.
Thanks for your help everyone!