Post # 1
heres the background story.
My FI was previously married, and has two little boys aged 8 and 10. I was also previously married and have no children, I live in an area with a heavy military population and after I divorced I had to stay in the area while I was getting out of the military (i was medically retired) anyhow I ended up in an apartment while I was staying. Fast forward now I’m engaged, my FI owns a beautiful three story log home that he built with friends. He kept the house when he and his ex divorced (she ran off to Virginia) and of course, he is in love with the home he put his blood into.
Obviously our “married home” will be his log cabin, it’s a really beautiful home on 65 acres. The point..
he moved into the home in 2006 and he and his wife separated later in the year. Now, he has this sign in front of his front door, that says “Custer family established 2006”. I find myself looking at it every day, and I am trying to decide if it bothers me if that makes sense. Wouldn’t we be “re-establishing” our new family in 2014 (when we marry) but then I think of ths boys… They are here regularly, (and myself and him have a very civil relationship with his ex wife).
anyhow, the sign… Do I over look it? ask for it to be changed? Or just removed?
Post # 3
@Djacks88: I think it’s time for a new sign! If it didn’t have a date on it, it wouldn’t be an issue for me. While it’s not a huge deal to leave it, it’s no big deal to change it either!
Post # 4
@Djacks88: that is kinda sticky I would probably leave it because of the children but it’s totally up to your and your FI.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Think of it as in, he established (built) this house in 2006. That is where the established came in! Not his marriage to his ex-wife. 🙂
Post # 6
@Djacks88: Yep, time for the sign to be updated! That doesn’t take away from his previous family, it just adds to it. Perhaps it would be best to do away with the “Established” bit all together….
Post # 7
@Djacks88: I would read it as the house was built February 1, 2006 and I think that is very cool to have since he built it with friends. I personally don’t see it having to do anything with the ex wife.
Post # 8
@Djacks88: Why not buy him a new one with your wedding date on it and present it to him as a wedding gift?
Post # 9
@Djacks88: I would actually leave it. The sign above say “Custer House” so it could be appropriate as that was the time he moved in. Had the sign actually said “Custer Family” then I would change it out.
Post # 10
@Djacks88: That sign would bug me, too. Would he agree to removing it, at least from the front door so you don’t have to be reminded of his ex every day? Maybe he could give it to his kids and let them put it up in another place, like their playroom if they have one.
Post # 11
I’d leave it because it pertains to the children and the fact that he built the house himself, and that is his last name..seems appropriate.
Post # 13
I would like it removed too.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I would definitely think that the house was built in 2006. Unless they were married Feb 1, 2006, I wouldn’t take this too personally because it’s obviously referring to the house and not the ex wife. I say leave it be for now but if it’s still bothering you after the wedding then get a new sign but I’m not sure what it should say so as not to leave the sons out of the family concept. Maybe it would be best to remove the sign altogether.
Post # 15
Sorry the picture is sideways! I am unsure of he move or change it. We are just recently engaged (last Sunday) so I have not brought it up. I of course would never consider moving! He built the house with friends of his, and the home is honestly a dream house. It’s just the sign, I am so unsure of it!
Post # 16
@sugar_biscuit: That’s what I thought, too. If it had their wedding date, then I would be miffed.
Maybe a new one, like other PPs have suggested.
Something like, The Custers
Does that seem silly?