(Closed) Our moms are hanging out today

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3943 posts
Honey bee

Aww thats exciting!

My mom does know my FI’s family. Theyve met a handful of times (less than 5 in 4 years). They get a long fine, but really have nothing in common. My  mom is very reserved and struggles financially and my FI’s family is the total opposite.


Post # 4
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

They get along okay, but I think our dads have way more in common than our moms. Our dads are both managers of businesses and like a lot of the same TV shows so they can chat for awhile. Our moms are very different though, I think them hanging out would be kinda awkwrd. And here comes the vent…

We both have families that are close, but they are very different. My family is the constant hugs and always say I love you type, his rarely hugs and never uses the l-word, something we had to work on in our relationship because he isn’t always as open emotionally. Mine can talk about issues and be really open, but are careful with how we word things to not hurt eachother. I’ve seen his family talk about people behind their backs and be kinda passive aggressive a lot, and his, especially his dad, don’t have much of a filter about saying offensive things about people of other races or economic statuses. My mom is a school principal and focuses on education, his mom is a stay at home who wishes I would stop schooling already and have babies. His sister and I get along well though, she and her husband are a bit nice..but very baby obsessed with a one year old and constantly asking when we’ll give hima  cousin.

Of course that is my point of view, I think people always prefer the way they grew up. 

Post # 5
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

They know each other and have hung out by themselves (my parents have invited his parents to stay with them at their house, for example), but I don’t know whether that will happen again.  LOL  It appears that the last time my DH’s parents hung out with my parents, things didn’t go as smoothly.

I think it’s always great when the in laws get a long because it certainly makes things easier for the newly married couple.  It’s really awesome that your mom and Future Mother-In-Law are able to work together to help you and your Fiance out.  🙂

There are a lot of differences between our families; most of which don’t matter, but there are a couple that do because, for some reason, they keep coming up in conversation.  For example, they have very different ideas about money, communication, how “involved” you are with your kids (mine= a lot, his= they NEVER call, for example), showing emotion (mine= a lot, his= not really), etc.  My family are more formal, on time, “should” people, who like to celebrate things like Christmas, etc.  In his family the common word is “good enough” and his mom hates Christmas. They are not always considerate of other people, but it’s because they don’t think to be (it’s not mean, more just not thoughtful). My family loves to do things outside and is active.  His family likes tv and barely go outside.

All this is to say: the families are different and it has caused some miscommunication, but I do love my in laws and am learning to work with what I see as their quirks as I’m sure they are learning to work with mine.  🙂

Post # 6
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Our parents get along really well. They met for the first time a month or so before our wedding. The 6 of us went to a really nice dinner that lasted almost 4 hours! good wine and great conversation played into that haha. Since then they have come to my parents house once and my parents went to their house for 4th of July. We are really fortunate they get along and have some things in common.

Post # 7
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

thats exciting! My Future Mother-In-Law lives in another country so my mom can’t hang out with her, but they have met (at my fiance’s college graduation) and really got along and loved each other. They talk via email and I’m really looking forward to my Future Mother-In-Law and my FI’s family coming to the wedding. We’re having a big dinner at our house on Thursday night (the day before the rehearsal dinner) for his family. I think it will be a good start to the wedding weekend and make them feel comfortable as they’ve never really been to an American or Jewish wedding (weddings are super different in his home country).

Post # 8
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My mom and my FI’s mom have met a couple times and they get along GREAT! My mom has met my FI’s dad but our dads have never met. They are completely different and really don’t have a whole lot in common but my dad is so easy going and will get along with anyone so I’m not too worried! 

I am sure the meeting with your moms will be just fine. If they both offered to do it in the first place then I am sure they will have a good time together! You both must have awesome moms for them to volunteer to hunt for wedding locations! 🙂 

Post # 9
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My parents met DH’s parents a few months into our relationship. They only live about a half hour from each other so my family’s always invited to their family gatherings and vice versa. They get along well but they’re not BFF’s or anything. 

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