Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I’m watching this MTV true life right now where this girl wants to get fake boobs really badly while her boyfriend wants to save and buy a house together. She wants it so badly; he is asking her how they will be able to live inside her expensive boobs.
This got me thinking; now that I’m married… what if this were me… what if I wanted elective surgery? Part of me thinks, “I can do what I want, it’s my body… plus I make my own money.” but much like that boyfriend is arguing, it’s THEIR money, not hers, and he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for her to spend their money on a boob job when they’re close to having enough money for a down payment for a house.
I will admit, if Mr. Peng wanted to get some elective surgery to boost his outward image, I feel like I’d be against it, so it would be a double standard for me to ever think it would be OK for me to get elective surgery. But I’ve never been against cosmetic surgery—I always thought maybe when I got old I’d get eye work done or something because baggy saggy eyes make me really sad. But… it’s our money… and we could probably buy a LOT of things for the money.
What would you do? If you wanted to get elective surgery to boost your self esteem but your FI/Husband was against it, do you think you’re entitled to get it?
Post # 3
Well, I got a breast augmentation right after I turned 18, but I had a lot of disposable income at the time & I still lived at home. Now, if I reeealllyyy wanted it & we were saving to buy a house…I would definitely go for the house more, personally. If I wanted it THAT bad, I could wait a couple of years or make my own little savings account and put a little $$ in there at a time so that I could possibly get it done sooner.
Post # 4
Well, I already have fakes so when I go to get them changed I’ll be using ‘our money’. Fiance LOVES them though, so I don’t see him complaining too much. And as long as it’s after we’ve already bought a house everybody wins.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
That’s a tough question. I can see myself potentially having something minor done later in life, like you mentioned, and to be honest, I think my Fiance would be completely okay with it. He’s always been all about making sure I’m completely happy with myself, so I think that he would be okay with it. But I would feel terrible asking him to let me spend our money on something like that! I think it really depends on where we are in life – like Lees mentioned – if we’re saving for a house or a new car or something, then definitely no. But if we are at a point where we aren’t necessarily saving for anything, I would think about it!
Post # 6
i think my hubby would be “whatever makes you happy”… just as long as i dont take it too far like that heidi chick there was a thread about the other day
Post # 7
I think in a situation like this, you can liken the boobies to something else, like a motorcycle or jetski or golfcart. I would be against a motorcycle, b/c I hate them, but who am I to tell my Darling Husband that he couldn’t have one if that was what he really wanted in life? then the next time it’d be my turn to splurge, you know? I think that if the spending is equal, and not frivolous/coming before something necessary, then it’s ok and both sides need to compromise.
Post # 8
I think it depends. Obv if we were saving up for something that was important to both of us, new house, new car, etc., then I think it’s just selfish to want to use that money for something elective. But I could def see myself getting a touch up in the future, and I think by the time that rolls around we will have enough disposable income that it won’t be an issue.
Post # 9
Lee4308! What made you get surgery at 18? at 18 I was a very very small A. and now at 20 Im a full B! Your chest doesnt stop growing until your 20s! 🙁
Post # 10
My husband is very “what makes you happy” and is totally on board with me spending some money on elective surgeries after kids.
He’d probably be a little surprised to find out I spent 2K on my stomach, but hey. Whatev. I never told him cuz it was a surprise.
Yes, it is “our” money, but you know what, if my husband REALLY wanted something and it was important to him (um let’s see, hair implants or something manly like that?) i’d try to understand and make it work.
I don’t like the word “entitled” necessarily, but yeah, I’d find a way to make it work. If i had to take a second job or cut back on somsethign specifically so it’d be “ok” i’d do it.
Sorry but I really value the way I look. If working out and dieting can’t take it off, I”m open to spending a little bit of money.
After all, I just popped out his kids. I DESERVE (not entitled lol) to feel/look good about myself.
Pro plastic surgery all the way. Just not looking fake, lol
(edit: we already have a house, but c’mon, priorities first)
Post # 11
@Osaka- 25 to be exact.
I really want to get breast augmentation. I have since I was a young teenager. My Fiance is pretty against it, he says that I don’t need it. I think that I will do it after we have children. It is something that WILL happen.
Post # 12
you mean my tatters are done growing by now? darn!
Post # 13
Personally, I would not date someone seriously who didn’t share my values about money. I think it is a recipe for divorce.
That said, I plan on getting post baby elective surgery. I do think that ego enhancing things can be well spent money, in certain circumstances. But there are plenty of things I would budget over that, and I would entirely expect my DH’s opinion to matter.
Post # 14
I agree with others about post baby surgery. I definetely will want a “lift” in my chest area and possibly a tummy tuck, just depends on how big I get. *crosses fingers* but until then Im fine with how i look.
Post # 15
For us I think it’s all a matter of timing. The fake boobies can wait, the house cannot. That would pretty much end that. But I’d save up all the money AFTER we got the house, and whenever we had enough, then I’d use it.
Post # 16
@Osakagrl: I just wanted them very badly! 🙂 I was a verrry small A cup & even with my breast augmentation I still wish they were a little bigger, so if they don’t stop growing until 25 I’ll be completely fine with that!! 🙂 I didn’t get them enormously big, just a good size. I’m happy I got them done then. It was a graduation present/18 birthday present from my dad!