Post # 1
I booked my officiant today, who is a part of the staff at the church my parents are members of. We communicated via email, and all he said was he’s marking the day on his calendar as ours, but he wants to meet up when it gets closer to the wedding (in 13 months). For the record, I’m aware that it’s probably early to book an officiant, but my fiancé is deploying soon and will be gone for most of our engagement, so I’m trying to get stuff done before he leaves.
He also did not mention a price or deposit. Is this normal if the officiant is someone you know through church? I would hate to assume that we only need to tip/make a donation only to find out something else later. Did any of you have this experience?
He also did not mention anything about our vows…. So I asked him if he could provide me with a sample. I hope that wasn’t rude, I just feel like I need to have some knowledge of the vows we’re going to be saying in advance.
He’s a great guy and totally trust him to do a great wedding. It just seems like everything is so unofficial, even though he said he’s got our date covered. What do you guys think?
Post # 2
futureladyharvey: If you are communicating via email, send him one just enquiring about the church’s policy regarding the fee for the officiant and any other fees that may be required.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
Our church is free to use for members. So my guess is, if you’re directly related to the members of a church , their son or daughter, it’s free. I would ask to be sure though.
Post # 4
In my experience most churches don’t charge members. They appreciate donations (we gave our church $800), but don’t expect them. I would confirm this either on the phone or in person, but I think that’s probably why he didn’t give you a price.
Post # 5
If he did not mention a fee, he probably does not charge. BUT, I would ask them what the gift or gratuity policy is. This is important. For example, at my (Roman Catholic) church I have to make the check out a specific way as a gift to the Deacon or else the Deacon has to turn the money over the church. So, be sure to ask! The Deacon said the gratuity average here in Texas has ranged from $50 – $200.
Post # 6
I think all officiant have their own set of style of handling the inquires for their services. My officiant didn’t mention the fee to me as well over the phone. Instead what happen was we met and chatted with each other to because she wanted to ensure we felt comfortable with her. She talked about her services and mentioned that she had different typical vows we can mix and match. After we confirmed that we would definitely want her to perform the ceremony did she start talking about pricing.
There was another marriage commissioner I talk to over the phone and he was pretty much ‘I will book you now!’ Of course it fell through because he had another marriage to perform during ours.
So perhaps your marriage commissioner feel that these are sensitive topics that should be communicated face to face rather than through email.
Post # 7
Thanks for the help ladies! I guess because we’re members of the church it’s probably free. But I’ll definitely double check on it!