- 7 years ago
I am sitting here typing you bees, not even sure where to begin. It’s really over. Last night we fought for several hours, and this morning I finally called it game over. We are done. Finished. Here’s what happened…
Boyfriend and I have been having some issues financially. Calling him lazy, pretty much sums him up. He lives in this world where everything works itself out, and the idea of getting a real job is completely foreign to him. He owns a custom paint and body business which is basically a garage he has rented out where he works on his friends cars. The business is not legitimate at all. Therefore I, the full-time student, AND full-time employee are supporting us. Last Thursday was the final straw. He is always complaining that he never has enough time to get anything done. I worked a 16 hours shift of overtime at the hospital just to make sure our bills would get paid. I came home to relax, and he was out with his friends. I got on MY laptop (his is broken and he’s too cheap to fix it) and started browsing the bee. I accidentally closed a window, so I went into the history to pull it back up. What I saw in the history was so disturbing I can’t even put it on the bee. Just to sum it up, there was 7 hours, repeat 7 HOURS of time he logged looking at porn. And not even regular porn, weird creepy stuff that makes me feel gross all over. I was FURIOUS!!! When he came home I jumped his ass about it. This was his reponse…
“That is just something guys do, and you need to accept that. Everyone has their vices. Would you rather me go out drinking every night and come home and beat you?”
He so didn’t help himelf. He offered no apology, no explanation. I explained to him that he didn’t NEED a vice. Why couldn’t he just be normal? So while I was working 16 hours to support us, he was at home, wacking off, on the couch I paid for! Understand my furiosity now?
It doesn’t end there. This launched so much suspicion on my part. I logged into every e-mail account and facebook page he has. And I found MORE stuff that makes my skin crawl. He has been getting on these cam sites where you watch girls do things, and he has been TIPPING THEM! So he has been sending complete strangers online money when he can’t even pay his own bills. It is not like he is being denied anything in our sex life! He is not missing out, and trying to fill some void. It resulted in a REALLY big fight last night to where he called me a robot, and a few other very not nice things before grabbing his keys and leaving.
When I woke up this morning I realized I really have no idea who he is. The person that I have spent the past year with doesn’t exist. I have found out all these things about him that I simply cannot bear, and it makes me feel like a fool that I was so blinded. I have said on other posts what a wonderful man he is, and now I feel like a fraud knowing none of it was true.
This morning he had still not come home, so I called him and explained to him, it was over, and he needed to get his things and move out.
I am in a complete state of shock. How could I allow this to have happened?