Post # 1
So…our RSVP due date was yesterday and after hunting people down (ahem, talking to some people), we are still missing 37 or 17% of them (not too bad!)
Well, we invited 221 (including us) — we expected 175 people to accept, but were secretly hoping for 150 (for more space and comfort). Right now, we are at 112 yes’s (including us) which means our acceptance rate was 60%. We still have 37 not accounted for, but I think many of those will be no’s.
I’m disappointed because the only family members of mine that are coming are my mom, sister, great aunt, and second cousin (the latter two live about 5 hours away, but we are close). Granted, a lot of family are from out of town. It’s just a little disappointing. I also feel like I kept preparing myself mentally that everybody would come (because I read a lot on here about weddings with 100% attendance and always plan for a booked wedding) that now it is a bit of a let down.
I also don’t want the space to look empty or feel bad that we have too little of a wedding. My day-of and I kept planning on having 25 tables and now we may have half that.
The bright side (which I’m trying to focus on): it will be cheaper (this is a HUGE plus — in fact, we may be able to do something special we originally wanted to do, but couldn’t afford — like a late night snack — since it’s much smaller than we anticipated — that or bank the saved money and put towards our HM or something else). We also will be able to spend more time with our guests and it will be more intimate. I think this will be nice despite the fact that I was preparing for a big(ger) wedding.
Post # 2
I definitely understand. Even though it’s reasonable to expect people, especially out of towners, to decline, it can still be disappointing.
We invited 125ish and had 80 RSVP yes (in line with what we were thinking). I was still worried about the space feeling empty.
We actually only had 71 show up the day of the wedding. It did feel a bit empty. Most people drove in from 2 hours away and had to leave early. But the people who were left we really our nearest and dearest, and we had a blast even if there were only 20 of us at the end of the night!
Keep focusing on the positive and all the lovely people who will be there.
Post # 3
for all my years on wedding forums, I think the RSVP thing is normal – it certainly was true for my 4 girls.
My last DD gets married next weekend and we are kinda shocked that only 53% are attending. We REALLY thought there would be a good turnout! Part of the problem is her FI’s family – he comes from a very dysfunctional bunch and knew from the get go they would not drive 4 hours to attend a wedding. That’s a chunk right there. It is also Father’s Day weekend and graduations/open houses/weddings abound this time of year. She is also the last of her group of friends to marry and most of them have moved away.
I am doing a very tiny happy dance in the back of my head over the catering bill! DD is an older bride at 32 and even though she is bummed at how low the turnout is she knows we will still have a good time. She is an awesome dancer and will have people out on the dance floor. Her FI is not an awesome dancer and will provide some entertainment for those who just want to watch the dancing.
My best advice to you is to remember that you and your new husband will set the stage here. If you are up and about, mingling with your guests, and staying on the dancefloor your guests will follow your lead. If you sit all night or stay tight with your bridal party all night and don’t dance/mingle your guests will follow your lead.
Have a wonderful wedding and think quality over quantity. We know many wanted to celebrate with us and they just can’t make it. Their attendance doesn’t define their love for us – their past actions and love do, and we couldn’t ask for better!
Post # 4
bowsergirl: Thanks for the words of encouragement. You’re right…focus on the nearest and dearest and it will be a blast I know!
hermom: Good point about quality over quantity and those who can’t make it still love us!
Update: Since this post, I’ve been able to focus much more on the positives (like more money and less buying/hauling things). I also decided to use the saved money on something we really really wanted, but couldn’t afford — videography! It’s so last minute, I don’t know if we will be able to find someone but we are going to try our darndest! This is helping me feel more excited 😀
Post # 5
The very best of luck to you!!