Post # 1
My FI & I came up with a seating chart on our own for everyone and had the perfect number of tables that were all full. Generally, everyone was seated with people they knew. Then we showed my parents, who have determined that a bunch of the people they are inviting can’t stand certain other people and can’t sit together. So on Friday, we redid all the tables with their friends and thought it was good. My mom just called me again to say she looked at it on her own today and redid it again. Now the tables aren’t all full, we’ve added additional tables, and more people are just stuck at random tables. My thought is that everyone is adults and can handle eating dinner for 2 hours max with people that may not be their best friends. Should we really be putting in all this effort to make everyone happy or should I just tell my mom people can just deal where we put them? Will it really ruin their whole experience if there is another person at the table someone doesn’t like that much?
Post # 3
I’m not planning on showing the parents the seating chart. I don’t need any headaches with that. And I agree with you, I’m sure most folks can stand 2 hours sitting down eating dinner and listening to speeches 🙂
Post # 4
@ashlee2103: Oh no! What a headache :/ Ummm, does adding more tables incur additional expense? I’m thinking linens, centerpieces, chairs, etc. You’ve already worked it out twice, I’d ask mom nicely if she can rework within the existing number of tables.
Post # 5
It won’t really add more costs because the linens and flowers are already ordered with a fixed cost at this point. I’m going to try to fix it again tomorrow but I just want to put people at tables to make it work better and my mom will want to make sure we please everyone so that could easily take hours. My parents are paying for everything so they feel like they have final say on everything but it is really my wedding!
Post # 6
I am in a very similar situation. It’s so frustrating! My fiance is the one who keeps changing our seat arrangement. I feel the same way as you, can’t these people get along for a few hours at a wedding? Sheesh! And he’s totally fine with adding tables (we do have to pay extra for centerpieces and stuff) and having those tables only half full. It’s driving me crazy! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for the both of us! 🙂
Post # 7
We ended up having some empty spots at a few tables. We could have fit everyone at 10 tables, but we were able to get more people who knew each other/had things in common per table by having 11 tables with an empty seat or two at each. However, we did not do this because of any personality conflicts. We just did it because we thought people would have the best time sitting with the others at their table. We even had my divorced parents at the same table. They do not get along and even they were fine.
I would go with your first draft or the one you did on Friday. People will be fine for the 2 hrs sitting with people they don’t like. As long as there are 1 or 2 people at their table they do like, it will not be an issue. You can’t have a conversation with the entire table even if you wanted to. People just talk with whomever is next to them. So those who don’t get along will just end up across from each other, or even if they are next to each other, they will just turn and chat with those on their other side. Your mom is well meaning but she is really over thinking it.
Post # 8
UGH, I hear you on this one! I’ve just spent the past four hours trying to do seating arrangements and am about to tear my hair out. My mom also has strong ideas on who should sit where and I’m sort of the view point that people can get along for two hours of dinner. After moving people around about a hundred times now, I’m throwing in the towel for tonight; ‘ll give it another go tomorrow and then that’s it.
Table arrangements = most annoying aspect of wedding planning…..BY FAR.
I would just go with what you have – or, if your mom is willing to keep redoing it AND willing to make your place cards…. well then, by all means, let her do it as many times as she would like so long as it gets done before the big day! 🙂