Weddingbee boards

We rented the second floor, the beautiful second floor, of a local restaurant downtown.  I met with the manager multiple times to secure everything and make sure everything would go as planned.  I met with her the Wednesday before the wedding to order the food and talk about how the decorations needed to be set up.  Everything was supposed to be perfect, but...

My guests arrived at the reception before we did for the "cocktail hour" while we took our final pictures.  When we arrived, we came up the elevator and everyone clapped, the DJ announced us and it seemed great.  Then I turn to my left and my mom whispers "This didn't work out exactly how we planned."  She told me that we did not get the whole floor.  I look around and there are people, not guests, strangers surrounding the bar.  The room is roped off halfway for another party, and they are so packed that the hostess downstairs is continually sending people upstairs despite being told not to... TO WHERE MY RECEPTION IS!

What it boils down to is a miscommunication between managers.  I have had my reception booked for 6 months and I guess last minute the other manager decided to book another party in the room thinking that it wouldn't be a big deal to split the room in half.

By the time I got there, multiple members of my family (siblings mainly) were in the manager and owner's faces.  They were attempting to get the problem solved by the time I got there, but really, there was no way they could kick the other party out. 

The worst parts:  I was told that strangers were eating our food, none of my guests could get served at the bar, my guests paid for their drinks when they weren't supposed to, my grandparents felt like they had to guard the gift table all night and they left early because they couldn't escape the noise since we were shoved into the side with our DJ, some guests left as soon as they got there because of the chaos, my centerpieces were randomly placed everywhere because the other party had taken the side of the room with most of the seating, and the list goes on.

The manager I booked with had, in fact, set up the entire room as she said she would, everything perfectly placed.  Unfortunately, when the other party came in, she had to hurry up and pull everything from that side of the room so that no one would take anything.

My husband and his brother took turns yelling at the owner (not a normal occurence) and he agreed not to charge us anything for any of it.  That doesn't really make up for what happened at all, and I don't know that they ever could make up for it.  The rest of the night we were treated like gold by the entire staff including being given free cocktails from the bar, a bottle of wine, and a ton of food for my mom to take home.  I did end up having a lot of fun after I stopped stressing out about it, but I don't know...

What would you think or do in this situation?

I had thought about that, but it just wouldn't be the same without all of my brothers and my sister who had to fly in from around the country (Reno, Denver, Houston and Arkansas).  I plan to write a letter of some sort, and I am trying to figure out how to word it and if I even expect anything out of it.

Well, I should clarify... they told my husband that we didn't have to pay anything.  But after my Mom and husband talked, they went up and asked her how much she thought it was worth.  My husband and her had decided that since we still did eat the food, we owed them for that, so they paid them $800.  The alcohol that we got for free amounted to a total of about 5-7 drinks because the guests paid for theirs as they got them.  They did hand us a bottle of wine.

@Green Eyed Moon: There is a large part of me that just says to forgive and forget, but there is a tiny part of me, the part that just wants to cry at the thought of it, that feels like they completely ruined something that I worked so hard on, and that there must be some way to get that back.  Although that large part of me knows better :)

so you did you get money back?  what exactly did the waive fees for.  I would be angry as all get out!!  but my continuing anger would be based on how much $$ i was out.

Well, it wasn't an expensive reception.  Since it was at a restaurant, there was no room fee.  The food totaled about $2000 for a heavy appetizer buffet.  That was all we owed them. period.  So my Mom paid the $800 which means that $1200 was waived.  She had agreed to pay for the food as her contribution to the wedding, and it really turned out a blessing that she was able to save that $1200 because she could really use it.

So for those of you who say I should ask for the $800 back, how would you ask for that without sounding like you are just in it for the cash, because that is not what it is about?

There wasn't really a contract, just a verbal agreement.  Which is fine, I'm not looking to sue anyone over it or anything, and really, a part of me is still in love with the place I just wish it had gone right.  I have emails if it were necessary.

Definitely very unfortunate, all those dreams and plans, months and months of decisions and trying to get perfection just all washed down the tube.  The main disappointing thought that runs through my head is "This was a once in a lifetime chance."

slicey19 & PitBulLover :  I think that is the direction I am heading.  With every day that goes by more of the negatives seem to dim and more of the positives seem to shine.  I have thought about doing a big blowout at maybe the 5-year anniversary, maybe even invite the whole family to Vegas for a vow renewal, lol!  But I hadn't thought of looking into having a 1-year anniversary party hosted... that's a thought.  I don't know if they would go for it, but it might be worth it to ask.  I'm going to think on that a little bit, and I thank both of you for your help!