Our vow renewal

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 2
Member
6028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think vow renewals work better when they’re for a big milestone anniversary (10th or 25th). Seems a little attention-grabby if it’s not a “major” anniversary.

Post # 3
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, if I got an invite to a friend’s vow renewal after only four years of marriage I would roll my eyes a bit. Can you have your rings blessed in a private ceremony?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 5
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I love the idea! I don’t think it’d be gift grabby and if I got invited to a 4 yr vow renewal I wouldn’t think it was silly or stupid or anything. I say celebrate away!

Post # 6
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Why not go on a family vacation and do this? I have a friend who went to Hawaii with her kids and husband and did a simple vow renewal on the beach. That way you won’t even have to worry about people expecting they should bring gifts and it’ll just be you as a family 🙂 Just a thought.

Post # 7
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

samjibabe:  It is your money, your marriage and your life. However, I would not expect many people to be there and you can not really get upset if they choose to not be there.

On the other hand though, my cousin did a vow renewal at 4 years because they had only had a courthouse wedding the first time and she wanted to. Some of the family went, some didnt. She was happy either way.

Post # 9
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

Tbh it sounds like you’re being ripped off I might be missing something but I don’t understand why he has to charge that much and take over the whole church to bless your rings? Is that normal practice? 

Post # 10
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Vow renewals are a sensitive topic and everyone has diffferent opinions about them.

I only like the idea of a vow renewal after a short marriage, if the couple eloped when they got married. 

My vow renewal will be next year after five years of marriage. We eloped and my parents were very upset. We would wait for ten years of marriage , but my mother may be dead by then and they are leaving the country next year. We think this would be a nice send off for them.

If your MIL isn’t supportive of your idea, she doesn’t have to come. I am only inviting those who would enjoy my vow renewal. My husband’s family would not be receptive and they already had a big bash for us for our first anniversary. My family was not present at that one; this vow renewal is for my side of the family. 

I think that your vicar is charging way too much. 

Post # 11
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Horseradish:  

I see what you mean. What about if the couple never had a wedding with family and friends, but they want to celebrate years of marriage together with their loved ones?

It is much harder to stay married than get married. We live in a world where people divorce after less than six months for silly reasons. 

Post # 12
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with a PP and I would only attend (or care about) a vow renewal for a big milestone. However, if you want to do it then I say go for it. I would do it privately.

Post # 13
Member
6028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

PositiveThinking:  even if there were no “big” wedding to start the marriage, to me a vow renewal after just a short few years seems very attention-grabby to me. While every anniversary is an accomplishment, it really is not that big a deal to stay married for 5 years as to warrant getting everyone together and throwing a party. You don’t throw a “hey I finished my sophomore year” party because, while no doubt completing your second year of college is an accomplishment, it’s really not that big of a deal. You did what you were supposed to do: you didn’t get a divorce or fail out of school. Be proud, for sure, but if you want to throw a party, make it for a real accomplishment. A milestone. Having a “big” wedding or eloping has no bearing on whether a 4- or 5- year vow renewal seems over-the-top or not.

Post # 14
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

samjibabe:  Don’t be discouraged by the negative influences of others, misery loves company. If his mother doesn’t see the point in renewals, that’s fine– she shouldn’t have one: Done!

If the vicar’s blessing is worth it & ideal for the price to you, book him & scale back on something else to balance the budget.

Decade+ anniversaries are what’s typical for renewals, but commonplace doesn’t make it a rule or your 4 yr. feat any less worthy. I agreed with another poster who said that getting married is easy, staying married is much harder & if you want to celebrate, go ALL OUT WITH IT!

The people who love you will show up to support you, don’t worry about that part.

Make yourself happy & find peace in your own marriage/wedding/vow renewal/dream dress(especially now that you’ve lost weight & are feeling good about “The One”).

Post # 15
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Horseradish:  

In less than five years, my husband and I have survived a cancer scare, surgery to remove a tumor, racist neighbours harassing us, family estrangement and me being hit by a car. Five years may not be a milestone but many couples would have divorced already after all of that hardship. I know that staying together after the aforementioned misfortune is certainly an accomplishment.

I’m not trying to change your opinion. I just wanted to share a different perspective. I’m glad that my family and friends understand that we are not just seeking attention. They are excited to see us say our vows. 

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