(Closed) OUR Wedding Gift or Your Wedding Gift?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honestly I’d be annoyed. BUT it looks to me like just another immature comment flying out of his mouth. Wedding gifts are typically for the couple and no, he doesn’t understand that. Perhaps ask your FI to say something to him since your feelings are valid (and they were hurt) and Bob does need to know what a wedding gift is actually FOR (you’d be doing him a favor to let him in on what everyone else knows), and then let it go.

Post # 4
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

A wedding gift for just the groom? I think you are definitely justified in this one! A wedding is usually where TWO people celebrate their marriage. Therefore a wedding gift should generally be for TWO people, ie the couple.

If he wants to provide these tickets, call it a birthday present, or just a guys trip that he thought his friend would enjoy. I would be offended if I wasn’t able to participate in my own wedding gift.

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

My husbands GM did the same thing, got a gift for him. He is really odd and he is even married! I can’t believe the wife allowed him to do that. I let it go, its not worth it.

But when I spoke with him and he asked how we like the records (yes he bout records of DH’s fav bands for his new sound system). I said DH is really enjoying them. I never even pretended I loved them, but I was very sweet about it.

Post # 6
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh, wow. I would be pissed. I mean, I guess in the end it doesn’t really matter if it’s a wedding gift, if Bob doesn’t realize how rude that already is; I would be more mad about my brand new husband having to take a trip–without me– and spending OUR money on airfare and stuff.

I would say to my husband, “ok, fine with me, but then I’m going to spend $400+ on that weekend to treat me and my friends to a spa day. How’s that sound?”

Post # 7
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

That does seem strange if it’s the only wedding gift he gives you, but perhaps he’s also going to bring a gift to the wedding for the two of you, and this is just something special that he can do with your hubby prior to the wedding.  Maybe he meant it as more of a last days as a bachelor gift.  

Post # 8
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I can see why you’re annoyed, but honestly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this gift. Sure, most wedding gifts are technically for the couple. But honestly, most of the stuff on our registry was picked out by and is used mostly by me, so I wouldn’t be upset if someone got something for my husband that was just for him.

Post # 8
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sounds like a nice bachelor  party to me!

Post # 8
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ya, I’d be pretty annoyed too!

I think it might just be his maturity level to be honest. He might not really get the idea of getting married and that it is supposed to be the two of you recieving a gift. 

Hopefully that is just part of his gift to you guys? 

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the PP’s, thats a bachelor party, not a wedding gift. Wedding gifts are something that the bride and groom get to use/enjoy, not the groom and his buddy. Wedding gifts are also not supposed to cost YOU money. I don’t blame you for being pissed. I’d probably throw a fit if any of FI’s friends pulled that. 

Post # 10
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@chexmixDC This is exactly what I thought. I initially was going to ask DH to tell his GM that its not an appropriate gift, but realized while the registry is technically both of us, most of it is stuff i use (Kitchen stuff) Granted he benefits from the food, but I am sure he would have rathered other stuff in the end.  

I do still hold a silent grudge though.

Post # 13
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah- I was totally kidding- I would be upset too!

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wouldn’t be that upset. Honestly, is FI going to care about the gorgeous china and crystal you receive as other wedding presents? Probably not, and let’s be real most wedding gifts are for the ladies. One gift from a close buddy that’s “man only” would be fine in my book.  Let’s just hope his gift to you is looking presentable in his tux and not doing anything dumb the day of!

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