- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
I find myself a little miffed about a situation and need some clarity. I need an outside perspective to either put me in my place, or agree that this is odd.
There is an 11 year age difference between FI and I – I am older and I also have two children. Maturity and responsibility have never been an issue in our relationship and we argue very little. FI does have some friends that are a little behind maturity wise – so much so, that we’ve talked about the fact that one, in particular, will probably never settle down and will never mature to the point of being able to be in a serious relationship. We’ll call him Bob.
Our wedding is September 17th and Bob is a groomsman. I like Bob a lot, he’s a great guy – he’s just really immature and tends to create a lot of self-inflicted drama (feels sorry for himself, reminisces on Facebook about high school relationships that he can’t seem to let go of, etc.). Bob is 29 years old.
Yesterday Bob sent a text to FI that said,
Bob: “Hey, free your calendar for December 4th – I’ve got THE most kickas* wedding gift for you.”
FI: “Cool, can’t wait … what is it?”
Bob: “I came across some cheap tickets to the Colts/Patriots game – we can spend the whole weekend there.”
FI: “No way! I’m in … but let me pass it by the wife.”
Mind you, we live in Iowa … the game will be played (I assume) in Boston, PA. So FI tells me about this fabulous wedding gift and I honestly thought he meant his friend was getting US (he and I) the tickets … isn’t that what a wedding gift is, for the couple? He quickly corrected me, “No, it’s for Bob and I.” Ohhhhh………….
Not going to lie, my feelings were a bit hurt and I admittedly feel left out. Maybe if he hadn’t said it was a wedding gift, then it wouldn’t sting … but it does feel like a very strange wedding gift to me, one that excludes the bride.
So Bob wants to provide the cheap tickets. Airfare would be $326 RT, not to mention a hotel. FI and I didn’t end up discussing it anymore, once I realized I wasn’t invited and it was a wedding gift for my FI and his friend.
I’m not sure whether it’s the immaturity level of Bob, thinking this would would be an okay wedding gift that I’m having an issue with, or the fact that I’m somewhat shocked and surpised that FI thinks it’s such a great gift … for him, of course.
Am I being selfish? Too sensitive? If he wants to have a guys’ trip to a football game – go for it, but don’t wrap it up and present it as a wedding gift that excludes me.