(Closed) Our wedding has made me friendless!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am they treated you this way. It’s unexcusable.

Post # 4
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

It is unfortunate you all could not see eye to eye. 

Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not going to agree with how your friends went about the whole thing but I agree with the principle. I would not go to a wedding if I was told I could not bring my SO.

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That is really unfortunate!   I wish there was an easy answer, but I’m not sure there is.   At least this way you will know that the people at your wedding truly support you and your decisions about your wedding (althought that is really not much of a “relief”)

Post # 7
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

That’s a shame that your friends treated you that way.

If I were a guest in that situation I would respectfully decline if I could not bring my significant other. But, in no way would I go about it in the rude way those two “friends” did.

Post # 8
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry you are going through this.  I feel like you were very tactful, and these sound like very selfish, self-centered “friends.”  Truthfully, I would not want them at my wedding if they were acting like this anyway.  I understand if they were a little uneasy about attending a wedding where they know no-one, but you said this is a multiple year friendship, plus they know each other, so they would’ve been just fine. 

It is really sad that people don’t understand how hard the guest list is to create.  Definitely most stressful thing for me.  Shame on them.

 

Post # 10
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm.. while I agree it was rude of them to just RSVP with a +1 without calling you first, it was also rude of you to not invite their SO’s.  You sound pretty judgey about their relationships and they have every right to decline.  How would you feel if someone told you they weren’t inviting your FI because they didn’t think your relationship was serious or they just didn’t like him?

Anyway, I don’t think this is something worth losing a friendship over.  Just accept that they think their BFs are also important and let them know that they’ll be missed.

 

Post # 11
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@FutureMrs.tSa:  A SO of such a short time doesn’t have to be accommodated. I am sorry they treated you so badly. If it was a partner of over a yr and you knew about them before wedding planning I would say they should be invited – but definitely not in this case.

I know I know “social units should not be broken” however guest list lines have to be drawn somewhere, our “rule” was they had to be around when we got engaged and yes I have received flack for it but it is our rule and we are sticking with it… Be strong and remember everyone else you love will be there for you…

Post # 13
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrs.tSa:  I was actually the friend this happened to. I got an invite for one and at the time of the invite was single. Well closer to the RSVP date, I was no longer single. I emailed the bride and was told the same story. As it was her wedding, I went with her wishes. Bottom line is it’s the bride’s day and your true friends will understand.

Post # 14
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

   

If I had only been with my man a few months no way I would not go to a friend’s wedding because he couldn’t go? It’s very selfish and childish. I bring my boyfriend or I am not going…how old are they that is ridiculous.

I would not have un-friend them just yet it could be a girl temper tantrum emotional decision they regretted after a few hours of thinking about it.  

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