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Oh I'm sorry. This sounds terribly frustrating. I don't know what your in-laws deal is. Sounds odd. 8 months will fly by! I say: don't wedding talk with FMIL, and just surround yourself with people who are happy and excited--just like you!
Hey Im happy for you!!!! I love hearing your ideas. It sucks when family members are not exciting. And I agree with virginia.. how frustrating and also to surround yourself with happy and excited people is a very good idea.
Chin up, deep breathe and keep thinking positive.
Don't let your FMIL get you down. It sounds like she's planned a lot of weddings in her life and I bet at some point she just got tired of it. I'm sure she's excited about it but she just has different things to get excited about as well. 8 months will fly by in no time and regardless of whatever is happening in anybody else's life at the time your day will still be YOUR day.
Well the thing i dont really get is... she wanted to be apart of one of her son's wedding but the girl wouldn't let her and all this drama happend. The other brothers wedding (the one where she loves the fsil) they had a rinky dinky wedding so it was put together over night... SO since the begingin of being engaged i always thought she would be super excited about getting involved... but i was wrong. I think she despises me for some reason..
You have your big day becase YOU want to. This day is about you and your partner. This is not a day about other people and whatever tiffs they have up their butts. You are in love. You're so lucky and so blessed. Celebrate it with the enthusiasm you want to! Forget any downers. Don't be rude to them, but don't feel the need to seek their enthusiasm.
My family no not really, because im not working still.. so my sis is like okkk how can you plan a wedding without money etc.. my mom has never been excited for me with anything , dad is a boy and dosen't care... friends i guesssssss, they say they are.. but when i host bridesmaid get together not everyone always shows... some lame excuse. A lot of people joke like since weve been engaged for so long and then started pushing back our date they joke like suuuuuure your getting married on 10-10-10
Don't let others' lack of excitement affect your planning and big day and most of all YOUR excitement about it all. You're absolutely right 8 months does fly by, that's how much time we have to plan and it has gone by so fast. Anything you can do early to get done and out of the way, I say go for it. Just focus on yourselves and why you are both doing this in the first place.
Awww I'm sorry. Well like Miss Olive Oil said, just focus on your happiness then. You don't need validation from other people to be joyful and excited about your wedding. If it is worth it to you, maybe the next time someone makes a "joke" about your long engagement you should say something about it hurting your feelings a little bit. I'm sure your friends don't mean to make you feel bad when they make little jokes they think are funny. That reminds me of The Office before Pam and Jim got together and Pam was engaged to Roy forever and Michael would make inappropriate jokes about her epic engagement thinking he was hilarious when really Pam just wanted to kill him. Some people don't get that it's not funny!
Hang in there. I'm getting married 10/9/10 and the Knot told me it was time to register, so you aren't doing that too early. :)
I don't think that's your major concern, though. Just focus on those who are excited for you and your FI and you will get through this. I bet the FMIL isn't even aware of what she's doing...she's probaly not hurting you intentionally.
This is hard. I know how you feel. But I think (eventually) your excitement will start to exude and people will feel it. As it gets closer to the wedding, others will get on board....it's just not on people's radar yet. Most people would think this October is an eternity away! For us brides it's like a drop in a bucket!
I know how you feel. We were together for 5.5 years when he proposed, then engaged for 2 years. In the end, we were together for 7.5 years when we got married. But you know what....we have a really solid relationship and marriage and I'm 1000% confident in our future because we have been through so much together already!
My MIL was also not very interested in our wedding - I found out later that it had to do with some jealousy issues (compared to the wedding she was able to throw for her daughter)....blah blah blah....we didn't give it one thought though! We just celebrated, planned and TRULY enjoyed our wedding. You should do the same. Laugh it off and enjoy your day... miserable people thrive off of making others miserable.
We've also gotten less excitement from families and friends than we would have liked. My friends are too young to be very interested in marriage and weddings, FI's family has adopted the "groom's family isn't supposed to participate" philosophy, and my parents come from a culture where weddings are planned in like a month and not considered huge affairs at all.
I haven't really let this affect me though - FI and I are excited and that's what counts.
So focus on you two and your planning. And appreciate the freedom you have to make decisions on your own instead of having to deal with a ton of friends and relatives all wanting to be involved and telling you how to plan.
((HUGS)) The advise given is awesome so I have nothing to add but hugs and a promise that this too will pass. Trust me when you and your fi are expecting your little one, Grandma will come around.
My mom was excited about us getting married until he proposed. Now she's so unexcited we thought she might not even like the idea any more. I am trying to focus on how excited we are to be married and on enjoying a great day with my close friends.
Thanks girls! I will try to think positive and not give a crap what other people have to say!
If it helps, we're also on the 3 year engagement plan and it seems to be only now that we are at the 7 month mark are people even aknowledging the wedding. I too was suprised that my family is not more into it, since I'm the only girl and my mom and aunts were excited about the engagement but it seems like no one really wants to do anyhting. We brought my mom along to a catering tasting by calling her to see if she was free and picking her up and the same when we picked out wedding rings. I feel like my friends will show up but aren't really about having craft nights or whatever beforehand, think anout where your friends are in life, are you one fo the first to get married and maybe they don't get it? Maybe your FMIL is just over weddings after having two or maybe she does not want to impose since she was shot down by the first bride. It's no really something you can control with anyone so you just need to do what you want and hope everyone is happy to celebrate with you in the end. Maybe get FI more involved so you have a team.
LOL sounds like you FMIL would rather give her attention to FSIL and that's the way things are going to be... if she hasn't shown enthusiasm now, I doubt she'll really be involved much.
Just take a deep breath and move on. Tell yourself you don't need her approval and thank your lucky stars for having a disinterested FMIL so that you can do things your way. The boards are full of horror stories about FMILs trying to take over the wedding.
Maybe the first experience burned her badly and after helping out with the second she is totally over it and has gotten her "wedding planning fix"? Just a thought...
well im excited for you to be getting married! i know i probably dont mean much but congradulations having only 8 more months to go! im sorry they arent being more supportive.
Honestly the only person who really gets excited is the bride! I'm experience this fustrating while explaining my cake detail, decor etc. and everone does not get as happy about it as I do. Honestly people wont really care till the day off. Then they all say Ahhh and Ewwww.
I feel the exact same way!! My fiance and I have been together for almost 7 years (this July) and engaged 2 this May. We still haven't actually set a date because we are in school so every time someone mentions our wedding or I bring it up with my fiance, I feel like it's taboo and have to change the subject.
Just worry about what needs to be done, and welcome whatever help you get from family. It's your day, not your fmil so who cares what she thinks anyways, even though I know it would be nice to feel included.
Congrats on the upcoming wedding, and I hope your day is everything you hoped it would be!!
i'm happy for you, and i'm sure all the Bees here are very supportive and happy for you!
forget the in-laws, i know they're suppose to be the new "family", as long as you are not financially dependent on them, why bother. stay curteous, and dont have too much interaction. who cares what they think as long as YOUR PARENTS care. that's who really matters - you're own family!
i dont talk anything wedding related with my FIL's it used to bug me at first, but now its a blessing,i have a hard time with FI mom now that his dad passed away, he was the glue of the family i supposed and he was the first one to make me and my daughter feel welcome, my parents arent excited or involved in our wedding at all either and im the oldest child in the family and first to get married but my parents are pretty self involved, everyone thinks our wedding is a joke too, cause we had a child, he and his daughter moved in with me and my daughter a few months after the news, so we really missed out on the getting to know each other in the dating phase, many people have heard and witnessed our fights and thought we would never make it, so what we recently did, because we are still best friends and are truely in love with each other is move apart again, the kids know we are still together they know what we are doing and the reasons why, and i finally get to date my best friend again and get to know him in the way i should to develop trust at its best! most people think it wont last, but we have actually been doing great, other than we hate sleeping alone and we miss each other like crazy so we talk on the phone for atleast 2 hours every night and the more i get to know him the more i love him, we are proving to everyone and ourselves that we are meant to be together, its gonna be a shocker when our families get their STDs in the mail this summer, i cant wait.... it feels great to prove you are inseperable, plus it feels great to know you made the right decision despite what everyone else thinks....
i think you will be just fine... wedding bee brides are here to be the ones to listen to you when your family doesnt care, they havent let me down yet!!!!
I'm sorry you are going through this! My in laws aren't excited about our wedding (1 wants us to wait 4more years and 1 says she has so many other things going on) but it is helping me to focus on all the people who are excited for us!
Haha, this sounds like my life! My FH & I will have been together for 7 years by the time we're married; I think because we've had such an extended engagement, the 'excitement' or 'newness' wore off and people got used to the idea of us just being together, so now there is a zombie like reaction to anything nuptial related. Kind of like "what? wedding? aren't you guys basically married already?"
But I'm with the rest of the advice here, don't waste your enthusiasm on people who aren't excited, and don't waste your time being bummed, because that time flies and before you know it you'll be celebrating, and so will everyone else.
DATE TWINS!
While we had less than a year engagement, my fiance and I met 7 years ago... so some people took the "Fiiiiiinally" attitude to our engagement when we announced it. At first it really bugged me, but now I am BURSTING at the seams to marry him.
Naysayers... eff 'em. :)
I've faced a lot of non-excitement from family members I anticipated would be excited.
What I learned is that you can't let other people's emotions ruin this time in your life.
They will ultimately gleen off your energy and excitement - but, I definitely know how discouraging it is to WANT that... DESERVE that... and not get it.
I'm sure the long engagement and date push makes everyone a bit skeptical - but, again, just focus on the people giving you positive energy and the rest will catch up in due time. They are the ones missing out!
I agree once you're happy thats all that matter. Just concentrate on making sure everything rolls out beautifully for your wedding and who cares what others think. I'm sure they'll jump on board soon though. If they haven't already.(Old Post)
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I think everyone thinks our weddings a joke.
We've been together for 6 years and engaged for 3 ... by the time we supposedly get married it will be almost 4 years engaged and together for almost 7 years. So im ready to get married!
I think since we have had such a long engagement people just don't care.
We pushed our date back from May 1, 2010 to 10-10-10 now.
Now only 8 months away. I get super excited. However no one else is.
Fiance mom gave us a weird look when we told her we registered. She thinks its to early. I'm sorry. 8 months is going by quick.
It really bugs me i guess because she gets excited for my fsil to get prego with her 3rd kid even though she alwwways has problems when shes prego and shes young. HOWEVER shes already buying baby clothes for the 3rd one and shes NOT even prego but YET 8 months is to soon to get excited for a wedding?
I'm still just frustrated and i hate that no one else gets excited.
I'm the baby in my family and the 1st in my family to get married, and my FI is the baby in his family and hes the last out of his bros to get married.
When my FI bro's got married everyone was sooo excited.My fmil was all into planning and everything.
I just don't get it. It really makes me want to just go to Vegas and get eloped because no one cares.
Am i being crazy. Is 8 months really a long time a way. Cuz honestly its flying by... sigh
Whatever i just wont tell anyone about it anymore.