- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
It’s been hard to talk about it… family who couldn’t be there are asking for pictures and such, and I don’t want to show everyone how crappy it looked. I’ve shared a couple pictures and the response has been, “Oh… you looked nice. What a nice picture.” Sigh.
The bottom line is I put in all this hard work and planning, just to have it shot to sh*t in the days up to and including our wedding day. Most of it was due to my new in-laws and their constant drama. It started with them offering to bring over their RV for my dad to sleep in, since my husband (A) and I only have a tiny two-bedroom house. Dad loves camping and was fine with this arrangement as it saved him hundreds on a hotel. Well, MIL was lazy and didn’t clean it out, plus there was a smell of death that made the thing uninhabitable the first night. Cause: Rotted pork chops in the freezer. Ew.
Then came the day we all had to leave for Ocean Shores, the day before the wedding. FIL and MIL fought the whole way, so they barely communicated with us and when they did, they were vague and bitchy. Then because they didn’t take care of any of their to-do list before we left, we ended up making a six-hour trip 13 hours, didn’t get in our condo until 11:00 that night. So my plans to check out the sites and finish prep work that evening were blown.
Our wedding day. MIL and FIL were still fighting, so she refused to speak to anyone or lift a finger to help with anything. For the first half of the day we didn’t have a clue where they were or what they were doing. I’d had a timeline for the day set in place, but it called for their help and they knew that! Mom and I got up early and managed to finish the ribbon wands and Tears of Joy packets, and from there A and I had to go back to the store for the rest of the stuff the in-laws didn’t feel like shopping for the night before. Since they also didn’t feel like buying the rest of the food they offered to buy, we had to do it.
A few hours later, we got back to the condo and found that my parents hadn’t been able to get to the ceremony or reception sites to decorate since my in-laws were MIA. Mom and Dad left with A to get that done and I stayed behind to get ready. Well, Mom had my blowdryer and the curling iron I bought was taken away with the decorations, so I had nothing with which to style my hair. I put on makeup, then promptly sweat/sobbed it all off as I tore the condo apart looking for A’s ring. Found it hiding in his shoebox, then only had time to wipe off the melted makeup and half-ass a fresh application. FIL didn’t want to come pick me up for the ceremony so A wouldn’t see me, so my parents and A came back. I asked Mom to help hook up my bustier, but she has the upper body strength of a fruit fly and couldn’t do it. I was too upset (not with her) at this point to think of asking A to do it, so I just threw on my ill-fitting dress and went out to the car where he was waiting, and we drove over to the beach site. Got there, saw that the arch wasn’t decorated and the ribbon wands were nowhere to be found. No music, walked down the aisle with Dad in silence. As the officiant began speaking I noticed that 1) she didn’t bring her effing microphone as she said she would, so the guests couldn’t hear her and 2) A’s aunts took up all the front row seats next to my dad, so my mom sat in the back row and was crying. WTF!!!
After the ceremony my mom walked off to the car, composed herself and came back to sign our marriage license. A and I took a few minutes to walk along the beach while the photographers took our picture… that was one nice part of the day, having a few minutes alone to breathe.
Then we got to the reception and I saw that the plates, cups, silverware hadn’t been unpacked. So I got to work on place settings while MIL stood around saying, “I’d help, but I don’t want to get my dress dirty.” FIL did most of the barbecuing. My husband got to work mixing drinks and chatting up the guests. Quite a few of them left early and although we were there about five hours, it didn’t feel like it at all. I was so busy doing stuff I didn’t think to sit down and eat. Every time I went around MIL she just talked about herself and it was making me stabby, and since A and I were already beyond angry with her, we avoided her most of the night. That reportedly hurt her feelings, but she spent two days crapping all over what we had planned so I don’t care if she was upset. Mom spent most of the reception crying off and on, because it all happened exactly as she feared it would: the entire day ended up being about A’s family.
For his part, A still says it was the best day of his life because we got married. So I’m trying to let go of the disappointment and adopt his attitude. It’s a little tough, though. I wasn’t asking for the world, just to follow the damn timeline I set for a simple, low-key wedding, and the in-laws couldn’t manage to stop fighting long enough to do that for their only child. Ridiculous. Now they’re relaxing on the beach in Ocean Shores, free from all the stress THEY caused and having a great old time while my husband and I prepare to go back to work.
At least we don’t have to see them again until the 25th. Ugh.