Out of place. ?

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 2
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Set a guest list of the people you do want there and that you can afford to host. Show your parents this list and explain that this is all you can afford. If they offer money to help pay for additional guests (and you don’t mind having additional guests) than accept their help. If you really don’t want the extra guests there, just tell your parents no and plan the wedding you want/can afford. It’s not disrespectful to tell your parents “no” when they try to tell you who to invite.

Post # 3
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve seen the phrase he who pays has a say around wedding boards after. If they aren’t contributing now then you aren’t obligated to invited their guests. If they contribute then they do get a say in the guest list.

Post # 4
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

What I would do is create a budget with your FI. Create your own guest list with your FI.  Just because they are your parents does not mean they get to dictate your guest list.  Stand your ground.  Tell them that you have a set budget and cannot accomodate their extra guests.  If they insist, you could offer them the opportunity to pay for the extra guests they want to include.   

Post # 5
1022 posts
Bumble bee

You should have a guestlist made up of family and friends that ONLY you and your FI want and budget for that.

If your parents or in-laws want to add their guests to the list,  they can pay for the extra guests.

They might be your parents, but they’re not the ones getting married. And I wouldn’t ask for $ – I’d wait for them to offer. If they do, the topic of extra guests of their choosing can be discussed. If not, there really isn’t any reason why they should dictate who’s invited.

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