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I only have the one BM and she's waaay out of state. Honestly, I'm not asking her to do very much other than listen to me vent occasionally about planning and reassure me that I am not losing my mind. That said, if I ever had a question about music or food or similar she'd be the first person I'd call or e-mail.
I have 2 MOHs and 3 BMs. All but 1 are out of state! MOH is in NYC (about 1 hr from me but comes home frequently) other MOH (who's getting married 8/1) and 2 other BMs are all in MA (2 1/2 hrs away but we see eachother almost every month).
It's definitely hard. I still have like 9 months till the big day so I haven't really asked for their help yet (and no one has even offered) but it was like pulling teeth trying to find a date to go try on BM dresses together so we can order together... I finally said go to your local store to try it on and get your measurements to me by April 1. I think it's also hard because 2 of my BMs are my MOHs BMs too so I feel like it's a lot asking them to do things for 2 weddings.. I feel like mine's less the priority and gets put on the back burner because it comes 2 1/2 months later. Sorry for the vent! haha
But short answer, yeah I feel your pain (that is if it's been a pain).
My sister was my MOH and lived in another state (where the wedding was being held.) She was a huge help in wedding planning, and we just did everything over phone or email. One of my local bridesmaids threw the bachelorette and shower with my friends here. I had 3 other bridesmaids who lived in other states and with very busy lives, so I didn't really expect them to do much other than buy the dress and come to the rehearsal and of course the wedding.
My original BM was out of state. My advice is to just give them some slack because they won't be able to be involved as much as people who live nearby.
All of my BM are really far away!
My MOH is in BC I am in Ontario - this is a week's drive away!
BM #1 - lives in NY - 5 hour drive away!
BM #2 - lives in NY - 8 hour drive away!
I don't expect anything from my girls except emotional support when I need it and the obligatory BM stuff - Bachelorette, shower, RD and wedding day!
My MOH is getting married a month before me and so we chat almost everyday and often discuss planning and we are each-other's go to person!
hahaha I think I am expecting too much based on some of your posts!
I think cause I know even though I'm out of state (I'm the MOH for my MOHs who's getting married in Aug) I am doing everything I can to be involved and help out. Guess I feel like I'm not getting that back in return which hurts a little. But I'm also really into planning and need to understand other aren't-- this is why I love and am OBSESSED with WB b/c you ladies understand it all! :)
3 of my 5 BM's are out of state, including my MOH!
luckily, 2 of them are in Chicago which is only a 5 hour drive... and they're from here so they visit at least a few times during the year!
when i first got engaged i started an weekly, if not more frequent, e-mail chain to all my BM's so that they got to know each other and stayed in the loop of my planning/engaged life! :)
it's worked out really well. we've been able to figure out dress fittings, ordering their dresses, coordinating dates for the bachelorette party, etc.
OH THE JOYS OF INTERNET!! :D
I am constantly calling and emailing them! They have been so great with dealing with me!!!! My MOH really helped out a lot while she was here last, and is starting to plan my parties while she is gone! :) I think i'm probably the one who is being a pain to them, but they haven't complained yet!!!!! Thank god for the interenet!
My MOH is out of state. We keep tabs over email every week. Any advice I email her options and questions. She's been great. She is coming home May 21-23 to throw me a Bach party and then she will be home for a week and a half over the wedding week leading up to the wedding and will stay until we leave on our honeymoon!!!
Email has been our savior!!!
5/7 of my bms, and my mom, live out of state, but it hasn't been a big deal at all. i have really low expectations though, i think, and my fi is really involved in all the planning and decision-making.
Two of mine are. Honestly, all I ask of them is that they buy the dress and come to the wedding, with the dress on.
My MOH is local, though, and her and her wife are super helpful. That has been great.
I live in Maine along with one BM and my MOH, two of my bridesmaids live in Massachusetts (not a big deal), and one lives in Washington state. I have kept a blog to keep my Washington bridesmaid updated on what's going on and she gives ideas over the phone and email. It's more important to me that she feel included and be part of the big ceremony and reception.
I did...& it didn't work out. She actually lived out of town and then came to live where I live, but then decided to go back home. I asked her to become my MOH when she lived here, and she PROMISED me she wouldn't move. Turns out, she was planning on moving without even telling me!! Needless to say, she's not my MOH anymore..but it worked out for the best!
I give you ladies props who can have MOH & bridesmaids out of town! I don't think I could do it. Even though I don't need my ladies there on a dime, I just don't think I could do it easily!
I had 8 bridesmaids and 5 of them were out of state and also, including me. I had my wedding in PA and I live in WA.
I didn't really ask them of anything because I did most of the planning and they were all over the country and so I couldn't really coordinate any wedding related activies.
I kept them in the loop with almost everything. I asked them for ideas, suggestions. I would send them a timeline of what events I wanted to do at what time for the reception.
I did come to PA a week and half before the wedding and that is where I asked for everyone's help.
I told them all I needed help the week before the wedding but I guess I didn't tell them how bad I needed their help. After one of my bm saw how much help I needed... she convinced the other BM to help. The advice I would give is make sure if you need help ... maybe sure you really tell them that you do. (I don't know if that makes sense)
All of my bridesmaids are coming from a distance. Two live in the same province as me, but are still 5 hours away, one's 2 hours and ferry ride away, and my MOH is in Australia on a very extended vacation right now. I don't demand too much of them besides telephone/email support, and three of them are planning on making trips here in the next couple weeks to go bridesmaid dress shopping. I'll probably go there for a shower since they live in my hometown.
:( I have 5 BMs and 1 Brideman and they're all 400 miles away save one.
I will have 1 MOH and 2 BM. My MOH and one BM are out of state. I don't see it as a big deal because I don't anticipate asking very much of them at all. When I start crafting stuff I might ask the local BM to help me out with that, and my MOH I talk to just about every day anyways and she is my biggest emotional support. Really all I ask is that they buy a dress and show up :) I know my MOH is going to plan a shower for me though at my mothers' house, which is super nice of her!
I have 7 BM currently, and will have 8 if FI asks an 8th GM. My MOH is in Alaska. And all but 2 do not live locally, or have the time and money to come here multiple times. I'm not asking anything of anyone. Including my local girls. Well, I am asking them to come dress shopping but not throw parties, etc.
My plan is to get all of them eachothers addresses. I know my MOH wants to have a roll in planning my "hen party" (I prefer the british term :-) but I'll just let them discuss and if it happens, cool. If not, cool. I know his BM is going to throw us an engagement party and one of my BM hinted today at a bridal shower, so... we'll see.
I'm not expecting anything, I just want them at my side.
I am inMichigan. and have 2 BM n Chicago, 1 in California, and one in state! It hasn't been too hard yet , but I also just want them to get their dress and show up for the wedding. They've all been helpful though even from afar.
I'm originally from Vegas but living in TX now...but getting married in Vegas...
NO ONE from my wedding party is from Vegas or Texas and they all live in separate states...
My MOH lives in Oregon, my other bridesmaid lives in WI and my bridesman is from FL. We are all photographers and have all hung out together.
I talk to my MOH almost daily via Yahoo messenger. I also e-mail everyone questions/suggestions/thoughts...
I told them if I drive them too crazy to tell me to shut the hell up! BWHAHAHA! :)
My MOH and 3 of my BMs are all within an hour (my MOH is ten mins away!) and then my other two BMs are in Atlanta (10 hours away)
I will have four bm (no MOH because I love them all lol) 2 are in my hometown (my sister and cousin) 1 is about an hour away (my bestie) and M's sister is here. I honestly don't know what I'd need them to help me with? (of course this could be my naiveity of being less than a week engaged). my best friend will probably be able to go dress shopping with me (the dress shop i want to go to is in her area) but other than that... they can hopefully come with me the night before and sleep at the b&b but I don't know how that is going to work if they have dates etc, I'm sure they'll want to sleep there with them, so it may just be my mom and I most of the time lol.
2 of my BM were out of state while we were wedding planning. I think the fact that they were able to order their own dresses (I just asked them to find a black JCrew dress they liked) made the process really easy. We didn't have to worry about ordering dresses together and they just sent me the links to the dresses they ordered so I knew what they were wearing. Actually, I didn't need much help from the BM because my MOH (sis) and mom did all the planning stuff with me. My BM just came to the shower, rehearsal and wedding day. :)
i have one BM that is out of state, and i'm pretty much doing a lot through email...she was actually home visiting over the break and was able to order the BM dress, so that was out of the way, which i was thankful for=) and about 5 of them live about 2 hours away, we're doing things through email, but as of right now, there's not much for them to do, but when the time comes i'm sure they'll be able to help in some way or another...
All but one of mine are out of state and 2 out of country actually. I think the only issue with it will be not having a shower or bachelorette party. Other than that, they commented on dress choices over email and all bought their dresses locally.
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I am having 3 BM and 1 MOH. 2 of the 3 BM live in a different state, and so does my MOH! Lucky for me, my MOH is amazing and will coming home for about 3 1/2 weeks 1 1/2 months before my wedding, and then again a week before. Anyone else have out of state BM/MOH? How are you planning with them?