Out of Towners invited to the rehersal dinner?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@apierce30:  This rule isn’t actually real. It was definitely more practical for those who only had a few out of towners, but obviously in today’s world it doesn’t usually work this way. I would invite both sets of parents, entire BP and their SOs, and grandparents. Perhaps the officiant if you are close to them.

Post # 4
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I plan to invite all of my OTG to my rehearsal dinner, BUT those are all FI’s close firmeds and family and there’s only 30 of them, I can understand why you wouldn’t invite thgem all that is a little much. I would stick to parents, grandparents and the BP.

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@apierce30:  We’re sticking to just the parents, bridal party & SO, and my 2 aunts & uncles that I’m extremely close with and are doing stuff for the wedding.

If we invited all the OTG, we might as well get married that night lol

Post # 6
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@apierce30:  Traditionally, you only invite those from the rehearsal and their dates to dinner, which is only those people involved in the actual wedding (grandparents, parents, wedding party, officiant).  We have such a very small group for ours that we decided to do a welcome dinner instead.  We are inviting all family (in town and out of town) in addition to the wedding party (we only have one attendant each).  I was going to miss really spending time with the family, so this was a great way to include them and actually get to chat and hang out with them.  It’s still not going to be very expensive for us to have it at a restaurant, and FI’s mom is graciously covering it for us.  I think it’s going to be fun!

Post # 7
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s a nice thing to do, but not required.  All of our guests were from OOT, so we did not include everyone at the rehearsal dinner (it would have been like 100 of the 130 wedding guests, honestly).  We did hang out with them that night after the rehearsal, and we also hosted a post-wedding brunch to see everyone. 

Post # 8
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If this was a real rule, we’d be having a second reception minus only a few in-town guests. Eesh. We’re only inviting the bridal party/+1s and FFIL and his wife (and their son). 

Post # 9
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We aren’t doing it.  Mostly because where do you end?  It could end up basically like having two receptions.

We’re just having the wedding party, our parents and FI’s siblings.  I am breaking the rule to add my aunt who is from out of town, but only because she’s staying with my mom and won’t have other transport, and also I have far less immediate family than FI so adding one person on my side doesn’t seem very big of a deal.

Post # 10
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@apierce30:  We invited everyone to our welcome dinner (we didn’t do a rehearsal).  I basically had 2 receptions and a thank you brunch because my guests were coming from quite a distance (China, Canada, etc).

Post # 11
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@apierce30:  We’re having the same issue too… My FH’s mother wants to invite all the out of town guests… but thats A LOT on his side as well as several on my side… it’s just too expensive. I had to put my foot down on that one. 

 

What I am thinking about doing though, is setting up like an ice cream bar after the rehearsal at the hotel everyone is staying in one of the meeting rooms and just letting everyone know how much we appreciate them being there. 

Post # 12
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you don’t want to invite OOT guests, then don’t. I’m sure people would understand, given how many of them are OOT. We have a large number of OOT guests that we wanted to invite so we decided to just do BBQ and invite everyone and call it a Welcome Dinner. I’m excited to get some extra time to spend with people I don’t get to see very often. But I understand that it may not be a good option for everyone. 

Post # 13
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had the same issue. All our wedding guest was from out of town. We decided to keep the rehersal dinner for just wedding party only. My MIL made our favorites for dinner. She made enough for everyone to swing by the house she was renting to have dinner. After the rehersal, everyone gathered together at the beach and we had a bon fire, roasted s’mores, and had a great time hanging out together.

Maybe you could do something like this. Have the rehersal to just wedding party and family only and then having a big get together for dessert and hang out with all the out of town guest.

Post # 14
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are doing this, and basically having a second reception as a result, but we want to do it, and take care of our family (Especiall FMIL who is paying for it). 

Post # 16
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@apierce30:  No prob! Anything to help a fellow bee! Its so stressful following the rules and staying on a budget!

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