Post # 1
I had always dreamed of an outdoor garden ceremony overlooking a waterfront. I found a venue that is just that. My mom is animate about me having a church wedding….she says outside is pretty but ou need blessing of the church. I argued this to the end, in an effort to keep the peace I am looking for a church venue that nice and quaint, and possibly with a garden lol. Any ideas for something like this in Long Island, New York? My reception is at The Riviera in Massapequa. NY. I’m planning for the ceremony to be there also.
Post # 3
I think you should stick with your dream. When your mother brings it up again, thank her for her input and tell her that you’ve thought a lot about it and that’s what you’ve decided to do. If you wanted to be snarky, you could remind her that God will be present with you regardless of location 😉
Post # 4
I agree that you should stick with your dream too! I’m not sure of your mom’s religious beliefs (like I know Catholics have to get married in a church to have the marriage recognized by the church – I’m not Catholic so don’t quote me that’s just what I’ve heard)…but I’m pretty sure it’s okay for most others (not sure about Jewish practices either). So if that’s not an issue, then maybe you could spin it around on her that Jesus preached in the open air in the world that God created by hand, as opposed to a church that man built? Just a thought 🙂 Oh and I agree with Oracle about God always being with you 🙂
Post # 5
Tell your mom God gets a better view because there’s no roof in the way. haha…somebody told me that awhile back when i was getting some flack for not getting married in a church =]
Really though, it’s your wedding. If you’re having a minister, what’s the dealio?
Post # 6
You can still have a religious ceremony without the ceremony taking place in a church. Maybe that’s her concern?
Post # 7
thanks guys!!! I am having a minister.!! and I told her all those things lol not today but I’ve told her before.
Post # 8
@marlysmarts: I can understand why she feels it’s the ‘proper’ thing to do. I’ve seen many of my friends go through a similar thing with their parents. Trust me on this – it will be one of many decisions you and your mom may not agree with. It’s the beginning of you respecting her opinions but choosing to do what’s right for you. You can ask her why it’s important to her that you get married in a church – and then weigh those for yourself. Perhaps she’s thinking of something you haven’t and this way you’ll ‘hear’ her concerns/thoughts, etc.
Post # 9
I’m Christian and have been going to church all my life but I’m not getting married in the church. That doesn’t mean my ceremony won’t be religious or blessed by God. I had always wanted to get married in a garden as well but more importantly I wanted the ceremony and reception to be in the same place. I wanted the convenience of only having to go to one place for the night. Tell her that or have your minister talk to her. Plus, you’ll save on the transporation headache, decorations, pictures, etc…
I know you were asking about a location, which I can’t help with all the way in Seattle, but you should be able to GET MARRIED IN THE GARDEN for goodness sake!
Post # 10
I wanted to add a few things because it sounds like you are going to get some of the same arguments that I had from my parents. Just as @oracle said, ask why when your parents or your mom doesn’t like something. Often you can figure out a happy medium.
We are having a friend get ordained to marry us. My mom was not happy and when I asked why, she said she wanted it to be more religious than that. Problem solved! We will have my mom or dad or a pastor guest come up and pray. My dad was angry as well. He thought it wasn’t proper or wouldn’t be right, etc… I asked him if he could even name the minister that married him. Nope. And did being married by a pastor make a marriage more likely to last? Nope. In his family alone of 9 brothers and sisters, he’s the only one never been divorced. Once he saw the silliness, he came around.
My FI’s sister will be his best lady (man). My dad was livid! When I asked why, it turned out he was so traditional he said I’d have to marry her if my husband died. What the heck!? I told him really? You would want mom to marry Uncle Les? And how medieval thinking. He backed down.
Every argument we’ve had has been squashed when I ask why and either point out the ridiculousness or we come to a compromise. Good luck!
Post # 11
I got married outside and invited my Pastor to do the ceremony. I thought that was a good compromise – and I wouldn’t let anyone change my mind. Maybe you can bring some religious traditions outside? For example, have a someone sing a song or do te unity candle or something outside.
Post # 12
Personally, I feel closer to God outdoors than I do in a church. That’s part of why I wanted an outdoor ceremony.