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Hi,
I am putting the name of the person I am closer to first and then just putting both their full names. Like Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe.
And I am doing "and Family" as well. I think there' something about etiquette when the person is older than 18 they get a seperate invite? And I'm putting the father's name then and family.
My $.02 is to put Barbie Smith and Ken Black on the outer envelope. We'll be doing the same, so you wouldn't be the only one breaking the "rule". 
I'm pretty sure that writing "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe & Family" is ok.
I will also be writing them as Mr. John Doe and Miss Jane Black, with the person we know better going first. I also don't think there's anything wrong with the 'and Family' bit, especially if there are so many kids! Frankly, I think unless you know they'll be offended if you don't follow etiquette, they probably won't know any better. I didn't know any of these rules existed until I started wedding planning and I know that my guests could care less, so I'm skipping a lot of the super formal and antiquated traditions =).
3ma3p43lc5Z35Q55W6a5h57436c602e1617e5..jpg (3.8 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old 
I put both of their names on the outer envelope, but on different lines if they did not live together:
Mr. John Doe
Miss Jane Black
Address
For a family with 5 kids I think the only practical thing you can do is write "and family"
skysamplefront.jpg (16.6 KB, 176 downloads) 1 year old ezefront.jpg (17.7 KB, 105 downloads) 1 year old cosimmasamplefront.jpg (20.5 KB, 111 downloads) 1 year old
I second mv17. But I put the parents on the first line and then just the kid's first names on the second line. Just so they knew they were all invited.
Mr. and Mrs. Jon and Jane Smith
Kate, Jacob, Max
123 Main St.
Anywhere, USA 12345
I have no idea about etiquette on this one but what about The Doe Family?
I did what jma19 did.
I had a similar question about an engaged couple not living together, so how to invite them together but she's not at his address, and the advice I got was to list them both on the outer envelope.
I ended up, at FI's mom's request, sending them separate invitations, which seems weird, especially if they don't arrive at the same time or if the less close person doesn't recognize who we are!
I think it's SO NICE that you are inviting both people in the couple and including both names on the invitation. That's really etiquette, showing you care about your guests, not worrying about a "rule".
I addresses mine the following:
-Jane and John Smith
-Jane Smith and John Doe
-The Smiths
Jane, John, John Jr. and Janie
-Jane, John and Janie Smith
and in one case:
-The Smith-Doe Family (husband and wife have different last names)
Jane, John and Janie
I did labels that I printed out on my computer. I did not use inner labels. I thought I might have to do two labels for the larger families, but doing smaller fonts I was able to fit on one label. I used a clear label and the font from my invite. They came out nice.
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I am having trouble finding the answer to this question.
We are not doing an inner envelope. How do I address an envelope for a couple that does not live together, but have been together for a few years? I would feel weird putting "jane doe & Guest" when I know the & guest's name!
Also, is it really rude to put "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe and Family"? I really want to put and family, I feel like I have read that it is poor etiquette but, they have 5 kids!!! With no inner envelope, I feel I won't have space to list all the kids names.
Thanks for any feedback. I wish I could throw this part of etiquette out my office window.
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