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My Fi and I are in our mid 20s and we don't drink. So we politely explained it to his fam (mine don't drink either) and they were totally fine with it. They thought it was fine cause it's our wedding and a representation of who we are (and also same venue issues).
If your friends want to drink then go with them to an after party.
Sure, some people are going to be really bummed, but it's not worth changing venues.
I've been to multiple dry weddings and found them to be just as fun and enjoyable.
Personally, if someone didn't want to come to my wedding because there wouldn't be alcohol there, I wouldn't want him/her there anyways.
Some people may be a little bummed out about it, but it's your wedding and you're the one footing the bill, so don't worry about it! I think they'll still have a great time. If you don't drink or you don't approve of drinking, then you shouldn't have to pay for others to drink either! My fiance and I are vegetarians and we are not having any meat or egg products served at our reception because it goes against what we believe. Good luck!
Yes, some of them will. But it's your wedding and if you don't want/can't have alcohol there that's your choice and not theirs. FI and I decided that to cut costs the only free beverage will be soda since there's a $75 all you can drink soda deal at our venue. But we don't want to spend hundreds for our relatives to get drunk and as brideatbeach said, if the lack of alcohol is their reason for not coming you wouldn't want them there anyway.
what about a signature non alcoholic drink?? some of them are super yummy and for a hot august wedding, you could have lots of fun coming up with something
@eloping: That's what I was going to suggest as well.
Or other fun things like an ice cream bar or chocolate fondue area will keep guests happy as well : )
Will some people be disappointed? For sure. But you can't please everyone. I think you should tell folks in advance, so they know what to expect, especially if your friend/family normally offer alcohol. But don't stress over it, unless YOU really want alcohol. If you're okay with it, I'm sure your guests will be, too.
Some people need a stiff drink to get through family functions, they will just bring their own ice chest in their cars. Or that might just be my family ;)
We are in our twenties but we're religious and so are most of our families and friends so there won't be drinks there. The guests wouldn't even expect there to be, anyways. Its fine with us.
We're not having alcohol because of some family issues, so we're hosting a mini afterparty at our apartment. I know some people will be disappointed, but i'm not too concerned :). You really can't please everyone.
Thank you sooo much everyone! Just hearing from all of you that it won't make our reception terrible makes me feel much better! Our families are not much of the drinkers anyways, but I know that some people expect the alcohol at receptions. We are also having an afterparty/bonfire, so people will be able to enjoy a couple drinks there!
@eloping: Thanks so much for that idea! I really think we will do that now!
I second eloping's idea. We didn't have alcohol but offered glass bottles Dublin Dr. Pepper (with a little sign explaining the significance of our choice since it's the drink of our university) during the cocktail/Dr Pepper Hour and then iced tea, lemonade and water during the reception. Everyone seemed to loved the Dr Pepper.
No one complained to us during the reception and the few people that mentioned something beforehand were ones that also complained when DH stopped drinking so that was to be expected on their end (in short, those that complained were being kind of ridiculous with all things alcohol)
i commented on another thread that i love the glass dispensers with various drinks in them - i even bought one myself because they look fabulous with lime or lemons inside them
This was an issue of mine as well! I got some great ideas and have actually decided that we are going to have a non-alcoholic drink bar! I think we will have like 4-6 different drinks in the glass containers with cute names like love potion etc on each one with a one line explaining what it really is! I think it will be lots of fun and people will be too involved in trying all the drinks that they won't even care there is no booze :)
That does sound like a fun idea! Now I'm wondering, what are these glass dispensers or glass containers that you are going to use?
There is a very good chance your reception will end earlier as well. As your guest I would come of course, but I'd also be leaving earlier than I would otherwise to party/ grab a beverage elsewhere.
I agree that sure, some people might be a little disappointed, but at the end of the day, they are there to support your marriage! They'll get over it. If I were you, I might enlist the help of your families and wedding party to help get the word out, so people know before hand. Personally, I feel the same about a cash bar; it puts me off (just a tiny bit) to find out on the spot I have to pay for something. It never ruins a wedding or upsets me by any means, I'm happy to do it, but it's nice to know going in so I can have cash, or not expect any alcohol.
Enjoy your day, and do whatever you are comfortable!
we are also not having alcohol at our wedding. both sides have recovering alcoholics and very...rambunctious...family after they have been drinking. we are thining of doing like fresh cider(my favorite drink) and sodas or sparkling cider (another favorite) i really dont care if people are dissapointed because its our choice and we choose to not enable our gets to get plastered and make a scene of themselves :)
@aprose: What does cider mean where you're from? Where I'm from, it is alcoholic.
@VickyAurea: Really? The definition off cider is 'an unfermented drink made by crushing fruit'. Some people add alcohol, but it certainly isn't necessary.
It's y'alls choice - if they will be 'disappointed' that's their problem. You can do whatever you want on your day!
I like the idea of having a drink bar with lots of punch and juice options. I'm not a big drinker, so this would be fun for me. I can't speak for those who enjoy getting drunk at weddings though. If they really care about you, this won't stop them from coming.
To be honest, I would be super bummed if I went to an evening wedding and found out there was no alcohol. That being said, it's your day and you have to do what fits in your budget and your preference. You certainly can't switch venues if you've already signed the contract, so just don't worry about it. Maybe let some of your partying friends know in advance so they're not expecting that type of event. People will react better to that if they know in advance.
We aren't having alcohol at our reception. Neither of our immediate families partake in alcohol, I'm sure there are plenty of relatives that do. But, that's just tough. I think a free dinner should be plenty. People shouldn't go to a wedding just to get snockered. That's just my opinion.. To each is to their own.
I can't speak for your family, but I'm thinking of not having alcohol in the picture for my reception either (even though FI and I are 25 and 26 respectively), especially if I opt for the church I've been attending as the venue for the ceremony and reception. The other reasons are:
1. FI is on a blood pressure medicine so it's not really in his best interest to drink
2. I have relatives (at least on my dad's side) who are anti-alcohol for religious/moral reasons and would likely have a fit if they saw me consuming any and/or knew that I did under any cirucmstances. (I do not adhere to the "no alcohol ever" school of thought. It's more along the lines of "there's a time and a place for everything" kind of thing, you know?)
@Captain013: I've been to one of those "ice chest" weddings. LOL
It really depends on your family.
My family is Irish and part of every celebration involves alcohol. FI and I drink as do all of our friends, so for us, alcohol is very important. Would I be bummed if I went to a wedding without any alcohol available? Yes. But would it make me mad? Of course not. I am there to celebrate the day of two friends/family members and that is what matters the most!
After reading the comments more closely, I just want to mention something: having alcohol at your reception doesn't mean you are "paying for people to get drunk." Many people enjoy a social alcoholic beverage and don't get out of control.
But again, I think it's perfectly fine not to have alcohol, just put the word out!
I'm going through a similar thing. Our venue doesn't allow alcohol. For the people that I know normally expect alcohol at a wedding, I am telling them ahead of time (mentioning in conversations, not putting it on the invites or anything!). That way, if they don't show up due to it, at least I don't have to pay for food for cranky people that will eat and then run off to the bar.
I don't think it's a big deal at all! Of course, my DH and I don't drink, and neither do most of our friends... So, we didn't have alcohol :) I didn't hear of anyone complaining
My husband and I didn't have alcohol at our wedding. We are over 21, but neither of us are big drinkers. In the end, we decided that we would rather save some money than spend it on alcohol. I was really worried that guests might complain, but I never heard anyone say anything except how beautiful of a wedding it was. At the end of the day, its your wedding. I'm sure it will be perfect either way :)
We are doing a champagne toast only and FI is 26 and Im 24. Not that we're not drinkers or our families weren't drinkers. It was just an extra expense and alcohol was not that importatnt to us.
We don't drink, so we're not serving drinks. I think we'll have a cash bar, however.
I think some guests would definitely be disappointed. I've been to a couple weddings where I'd probably be disappointed if they didn't, but I've also been to many where I am there to celebrate a good friends or family members marriage and I wouldn't have cared at all if there wasn't alcohol.
I'd only be a little disappointed since there would be less chance of getting FI out on the dance floor if he didn't have a drink or two in him.
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When we get married next August my FI and I will be 22, so of course I'm sure everyone is thinking that we will be 'partying it up' and having lots of alcohol. Our venue for the reception does not allow any alcohol, and at the time that was fine with us but now I'm thinking that our guests may be disappointed because that's not the 'norm'. Do you think my guests (family and friends) will be upset/disappointed that we are not having alcohol?